Coping with a cheating wife?

Recently my wife went to a work happy hour and stayed out really late. I talked to her earlier in the evening and she said she was coming home soon. Five hours later I finally heard from her after I called her cell phone repeatedly to find out if everything was okay. She brushed it off as no big deal, but I knew something was amiss. I could just feel it. I was extremely upset when she got home and brought the subject up again the next morning, but she said I was overreacting.





I knew this guy she worked with was at the happy hour. She claimed he was a friend, nothing more, but I didn't trust him (a) because he was 38 and single and (b) he had a history of hooking up with co-workers. She always said in the past that I had nothing to worry about. That I should trust her. So the next day, I was looking at our cell phone bill and noticed she had texted him at 3:00 a.m. after we had our argument when I was downstairs cooling off. I decided to confront her about it and she said that she was attracted to him and that she had gotten into his car to talk after the happy hour was over and they had started kissing. She said nothing else happened because I called when this was happening.





Now we've been together for 7 years and we have 3 children togther, so I was willing to give her a second chance as long as she informed this co-worker that what he did was inappropriate because it took advantage of their friendship and almost ruined her marriage. I also told her that if it ever happened again, I would file for divorce and seek custody of my 3 kids.





I think I scared her straight but I still have trust issues with her because she works with this guy and she lied to me before about not having any feeling for this guy.





So how do I cope with these feelings? How do I raise this issue with her without making her feel guilty?Coping with a cheating wife?
This is a very tough and difficult situation you are in. It is understandable that you feel betrayed and are having difficulty trusting your wife. However, one of the main components to marriage is trust. So, if your wife says that nothing more happened and that nothing will ever happen again with this man, then try to accept her word as bond and believe her.





But do not be blind! There is a difference between being trusting and being naive. If you find that after a few months, your trust has not improved or that she is exhibiting other suspicious signs, I'd suggest going to a marriage counselor. If your wife is not willing to go, you should still go by yourself. This will provide you with the inner strength and necessary tools to consider and carry out next steps.





If you can't afford marriage counseling and are a religious person, I'd also suggest speaking with a trusted religious advisor like a pastor. Many provide their services free of charge or for cheaper prices than marriage counselors.





I hope this helps and I wish you the best of luck and many blessings.Coping with a cheating wife?
my girlfriend for a year cheated on me more than once. sometimes u can cope with the feelings and sometimes it eats at you. but sitting down and talking it out is prob the best way to discuss this issue. not yelling or fighting just a big game of truth.
you've got issues with your marriage that is pushing her into his arms





better fix it soon or you WILL be divorced





here's an article for you that I think you both should read.


http://everythingaboutlove.org/Bastard-O鈥?/a>
Talk to her in a constructive manner instead of an accusatory one. Discuss how you can both get past this and insure that it will not happen again.





You might want to also have a talk with that co-worker.
by serving her divorce papers
You need to talk to a counselor.
You may never regain your trust in her again.





Try counseling, if not try divorce.
I wouldn't trust her.
Its always difficult to get past cheating that involved a co-worker, since one always has to deal with the fact that both persons are still meeting at work. I know, because I have been struggling with similar issues. Ultimately, it all depends on what she does to make you feel confident about her love for you and her willingness to steer clear of the individual. Counselling should help. Make the children your focus!
If my girl did that to me,we would be done.





The women who think its ok to cheat will tell you to be understanding and patient.





But heres the thing, She works with him. What will go through your head EVERY TIME you guys are apart???





I would leave her,end of story.





Go ahead and thumb me down cheaters
Let me give you some sage advice, my friend:





You cannot ';scare her straight';. The unfaithful spouse has to realize a few things before you can even begin to think about trusting her in the future:





1. She has to admit what she did was cheating. In doing so, she cannot try to hide behind ';friendship'; or ';your lack of trust';. She has to be willing to accept, 100%, that what she did was wrong;





2. She has to be willing, of her own volition, to not place herself in similar situations again. Basically, she has to make the decision to not cheat in the future, and you cannot make that decision for her;





3. She has to understand that you are justifiably hurt, and it will take time for you to trust her again. She doesn't just ';get all your trust back'; like it never happened, she has to earn it by continuing faithfulness.





Most cheaters cannot accept these terms, and thus why many people believe that ';once a cheater, always a cheater';. You cannot prevent her unfaithfulness or ';scare her straight';, you can only decide whether or not it's worth the risk.
I have read what some wrote here. I have to tell you 1st you never drove her to any ones arms! She has to earn your trust back and that will not happen over night. As time goes on your hurt will get better trust me. You will see tell tail signs next time IF there is a next time. You know the feeling you had when she got home that feeling will always come when something is wrong. I wish you both the best good luck.
You probably will need counselling. The objectivity of a third party is almost always critical in establishing the ground rules of the relationship during the recovery process.





It's unlikely you two can solve this on your own. There is a lot of work to be done, starting with understanding WHY she did this without judging her for having done it.





And that requires objectivity and experience.
tell her...it's not ok what she did..and she lied about it so that made it even worse...this isn't something that will go away over night and she needs to understand that...it's gonna take a long time to earn your trust back and she needs to understand that you're still hurt from this and things aren't ok just yet...communicate with her...she needs to know where you stand and you need to know where she stands...