Flirty girl in my husband's office, how do i compete/cope?

There is a very flirtatious women in my husband's office. I met her last year at the office Christmas party with my baby girl. I noticed that being flirty is her nature but what I didn't know was that she has my husband wrapped around her fingers. they text each other, he has a page up in facebook that she tags him with photos and she posted (dedicated) a song to him. i know a few times he hung out with her solo and just recently they went on a 'work retreat' where the two of them volunteered to go a day early. my husband said nothing happened and that they are just friends. we had a long talk. i have no evidence of them cheating so i don't want to hang an innocent man (yet). but how do i get her to back off? i am not going down without a fight. getting a divorce at this point will be my last resort.


i don't want to stoop to her level but how do i compete? how do i cope? should i make my presence known to her? besides beating the crap out of her....Flirty girl in my husband's office, how do i compete/cope?
You are dealing with the wrong person here. You need to work on his behavior, not hers.





They text each other - this is a two way street. Why is he texting her?





He and her went to a work retreat early? Why?





I know you don't want to hang an innocent man, but he is hardly innocent, even if they are not having an affair. He is encouraging her attentions. He may think her intentions are plutonic, or at least he has convinced himself of that because it allows him to continue to receive your love and her attention, but I suspect you are more insightful of her true intentions.





This is behavior that a married man does not participate in. He's got to decide if he wants to be married. Encourage him to discuss it with elders - good men who have been married a long time and have a lot of life experience. He is more likely to listen to them than to you.Flirty girl in my husband's office, how do i compete/cope?
I feel that you should talk with your husband about the girls behavior, and to tell him that he needs to put a stop with it because it is disrespectful to you and your family, if he objects or dismisses it, it means that he does not take your concerns seriously, and if that is the case I would seriously suggest you evaluate your marriage.
sorry youre having a hard time. I believe the problem is your husband not the girl. I would be beating his butt not hers. Why does a married man need facebook or myspace? Why does he need her number? Let him know it hurts you and if he can't respect you then get rid of him. Don't let yourself be a doormat. And in the mean time start making yourself look hot that way if you decide to dump him he regret it.
She's just a *****. it's your husband who is responsible. He knows you feel uncomfortable and yet he keeps hanging out with her. I couldn't handle that...I would threaten him with divorce. Again, this has nothing to do with the *****...she is just some ******. It's your husband's fault and it should be him that you deal with.
You are focusing your attention one the wrong person. Your husband is wrong wrong wrong !!! Tell him to cut it out with her. Tell him to do something to make her hate him. That is the only way. If he refuses, then he is screwing her, or thinks he is about to. You have to stand up for your rights as a wife. put your foot down. tell him the consequences if he continues. it must stop. now.
Sounds fishy already. I would lay down the law- he needs to stop seeing her, stop talking to her, stop hanging around with her, etc., for your marriage. I don't think I could possibly give you advice on how to cope, because I could never cope with that- it's just too fishy. Maybe try talking to her behind his back, get more info?
Take a picture of your wedding ring and engagement and place it on her facebook. Write a note saying ';I'm the wife and I am not going anywhere. He is not leaving me for you. Waste your time on someone else... Or call her and tell her that you are the wife and don't say it nice. who cares if he is mad that you did it. Better yet, he would be brave to confront you about it. If he does, get on his case too.
You shouldn't have to compete with her. Make an ultimatum for your husband to either end or limit his relationship with that woman because you don't feel comfortable having your husband around her. Your husband will in turn understand your jealousy and maybe oblige.
if he want to flirt and send flirty emails back he is still in the wrong how i c things.u should find somebody at work 2 and go out on a ';weekend retreat'; like he did.i say do as to others as u want done 2 u.lol.and see how happy he acts b/c he expects u to be o.k. when he does it.
yes, the best thing to do is to beat the crap out of her. flirt with her husband or boyfriend and if she doesnt have one, key her car and slash her tires. BUT WITH GLOVES! ( spray painting isnt a bad idea either). but do all this before she knows you exist.
You are his wife. There should be no comp. Its as simple as this; if you are uncomfortable with their relationship let him know he is to stop any out of work contact with this woman. Don't be spiteful, your an adult, not an adulterer.
Little thing called trust. If he says he didnt and you have no evidence then all your doing is stressing yourself and everyone around you out. Move on. Or get to know this girl better then you can figure out what shes all about
You shouldn't have to compete. Tell your husband flat-out that he's not to spend time with her alone. It's up to him to be a good husband.
Tell him no more girl. If he truly loves you and your feelings he'll understand. until then accompany him to all his work functions if possible and get her off his facebook! NOW!
omg he is totally TOTALLY cheating, do you really need evidence? Tell him it's you or her. I still can't believe you don't know he is cheating.. uh duh
So here's a thought....she may be the flirt but if your husband is responding to it, isn't he the one you should give an ULTIMATUM to ?
chances are..hes already banged her ...you've lost Hun time to divorce him anytime a man ';just talks'; to another woman THAT MUCH theres somthing going on
make the presence known. or make your husband jealous. do exactly what hes doing.
Stoop lower. Get her fired. Do whatever it takes to get rid of her or you will regret it.
Its horrible to feel this way. i hope it gets better for you. make your presence known. dont let her win.
Perform better in bed and be overall more attractive than her.....even if it means you have to strip dance on a pole
Please make sure that you do not turn a blind eye to this situation...my husband's assistant become more than flirty....I found out about it 2 yrs. later. I even trained her for the job. Silly me...I did not know that I had to play babysitter to them both. I had no idea, there wasn't any flirting,,,perhaps I never would have imagine that it would happen, she was married as well. Some people are just trash though.





Get in her face and ABSOLUTELY make your presence known. Furthermore and most importantly...before her comes HIM...your husband is married to you...he should know the rules. When they say, ';we're just friends'; they are MORE than just friends!! Good luck!
It's not about her. It's your husband's responsibility to stop the flirting and he hasn't...which means he enjoys and encourages it. If that was happening at my husband's work I know he would not encourage it and if someone tried that with him, he would put them in their place. Your husband isn't doing that because he wants it to continue.


Your husband has likely been unfaithful. If he hasn't sealed the deal yet, it's in the future. No one behaves like that with someone if that isn't on their agenda.


I'm sorry this is happening to you, but I think you are focusing your energy on her when it should be focused on him. He's the one married to you and the one breaking the vows.
';we had a long talk. i have no evidence of them cheating ... '








My question to you is why are you being insecure in your marriage? It sounds to me as if you are having a bit of a jealousy issue right now. If you have no evidence of cheating and you have already talked about this, why are you still letting it bother you?





You have met this woman already. Your presence is known. If you try to make your presence known more then you may cause him some difficulty at work.





Keep this at home. It seems as if your talk with him didn't actually satisfy your needs. Talk to him again. However, before you do, sit down and write out on paper exactly what you are feeling. Write down why you are unnerved with his current relationship with this woman. Write down any questions you may have. Point out that you love him and this is making you very uncomfortable. Hand the paper to him and let him read it. Then talk to him.





The best way to solve problems that may or may not be there is for a couple to have open and honest communication.
Exact same thing happened to me. When I met her (also at a X-Mas party!!) she mentioned my husband was ';her rock';. My husband swore nothing happened and said they were only friends (they -too- went on a ';business'; trip together), but then I found sexually explicit e-mails they had sent to each other about one night they spent together (during the ';business'; trip). I would give my husband an ultimatum. I know your husband is cheating on you...sorry.
Confront your husband. I bet he is not so innocent and he is playing to be. Of course he is going to say they are just friends. But going up solo a day before meetings..just the two of them. You need to face facts, he is a married man having an affair at his office. You can't get her to back off, her aim is to take him.Then after she takes him, she may decide she doesn't want him. He has to end it. Flat tell him that you know all about it, don't give him any specifics. Tell him that if he doesn't stop it, he is going to lose you, his daughter, his home and everything. Tell him that he is going to counseling with you to get things back on track and you will try to work on ever trusting him again. He stands to lose alot with this ';friend';. He is having both ways and you need to make him stop with her now. She is a homewrecker.
Set him down and tell him... no more facebook, no more communicating with her unless it is business related. If he can't live without her then I guess he will have to get on with his life without you.





If he does not agree to the stopping this disrespectful behavior (and it is cheating, because it is cheating you of time with him and in his thoughts). Then whip out the divorce agreement. Yes he will have the child 50% of the time Yes you will get half of everything including the 401K. He will pay you one years alimony for every 2 years being married, since he is the one that wrecked the marriage and you wasted time on him.





Happily married men don't give these type of women a second look.
Maybe you've done enough by having the long talk with your hubby.





You could make a few posts on her Facebook page, and his too, not being nasty but just being very sweet and loving toward your ';very own husband';.





Do you know the name of the flirty gal's boss at work? If the above doesn't seem to do the job, call her boss and ask what kind of a place they are running there. Be a pain in the @** to her boss, and I guarantee this will get her attention - but it will get some negative attention for hubby, too, and he'll probably resent it. Be prepared!
You should be confronting your Husband about this. I doubt it would do anyone any good to confront the girl. She would just deny she is doing anything and expecially if it is in her nature.





Let your Husband no in no uncertain terms that this is not acceptable in your eyes. He needs to stop all the texting, delete his facebook account, and not be going out with her alone. This is disrepectful to you. He sounds like he is getting tempted and you don't want him getting to the point where they do something or who knows maybe he has. I wouldn't trust this women or even your Husband. He has already proven he can't be trusted.





This has to stop tonight!!
Tell your husband how you feel. Let him know that you don't have stupid tattooed on your forehead, but nicely... There is no way he even believes this is innocent. If he can't seem to put the brakes on for himself then you may just have to cut the lines.. (so to speak.. ) Make your presence known. show up at the office unexpected baby on hip with special made lunches to let him know how much you love and care for him. Dote on him by sending him little love letters to work. Long kisses in the morning shower are very nice way to leave a lasting impression before work. And best of all when he is not looking delete her number from his cell phone. He won't ask you if you did it unless he is desperate to talk to her.. and if thats the case, get out your noose. Get yourself a manicure with dark red nails and give her that look as you flex them in her direction... lol scratch her eyes out.. law of the jungle if she dosent back off I would be surprised. Failing all of that.. she would hate to get into her car and find a smelly dead fish or something that she couldn't get the smell out.
I'm sorry to hear that. I know a little something about this kind of thing, but unfortunately I was the flirty girl. I worked with a man that was unhappy with his wife, so I flirted with him. He made me feel good and I made him forget about his wife. If this is what your husband is doing then step up your life with him a notch. Get his attention. I'm not saying that you're not doing a good job now, but most of the time it's just that the man is attracted to the ';new'; toy. Bring in something different. I would most definitely have a talk with him about this girl and let him know how you feel. You should make your presence known to her, but if she feels like you are trying to compete then she could just step up her game and it could make things worse. The best way to handle a situation like this is to bring it up and tell him exactly how you feel. If he disregards your feelings then it sounds like he's a jerk and you deserve better. If he loves you he will understand how you feel and respect whatever you ask of him. My guess is that you would do the same. Good luck, and by the way, after a while I realized that it was wrong of me to flirt with the married man and I put an end to it, but many women just don't care.