Going crazy trying to get over cheating...?

three years ago, (3 weeks after giving birth to our first baby) i found out my partner of 4 years had cheated on me way back at the beginning with a friend of mine because 'I'm not pretty enough' as you can imagine, hearing this just after giving birth was pretty hard. We broke up for about 6 months and then got back together. A year later he pretty much vanished for a week and I found out he was staying at another girls house and drinking and taking drugs with her- she was 'just a friend' and 'nothing happened' (with i doubt as even his friends have said otherwise.)


At the time I was still very weak from the last episode and also lost our 2nd baby (i called and messaged him from hospital only to have him ignore me and hang up on me so I went through losing the baby at 3am with my now 1 year old sleeping beside me on the hospital bed,)


As I was so weak I didn't break up with him, he cut contact with the girl and we decided to try once again.


Now its been 3 years since i discovered the first one, and 2 years since the second. We have been out once since all this and he ended up flirting with a friend of mine the whole night.


So heres the deal. After all this, I have spent every spare moment researching cheating, relationships and healing, I dont sleep, eat or work, I am on medication for severe depression, social anxiety and some other minor things.


Every time I have tried to talk to him he has this idea in his head that I took him back so get over it.


Shouldn't HE be researching all this stuff, looking up how to help me and trying? Should it really be me suffering with all this? I know I should leave hiom but Im so depressed and anxious now Im not sure if I can cope (and Im not being dramatic, I have already have several breakdowns and doubt I could get through anymore) I have no friends because I cant trust anyone or even leave the house most days, my family have practically disowned me for not leaving him earlier and whenever I try to talk to them they say Im being dramatic and they have no support if I ever do leave. I dont want to leave but I cant keep feeling betrayed, he says he's not cheating anymore but he doesn't seem to actually care that he has so I dont know...


What do I do and sorry this is so long, Im completely freaking out. Please help!Going crazy trying to get over cheating...?
He does NOT love you,he USED YOU for sex!


WHY would HE be researching his behavior?


It is NOT some deep dark mystery.He is a selfish self centered evil pig!


And YOU made not 1 but 2 count them 2 babies with this pig!


He likes having sex with hot babes is why he cheated on you KNOWING you'd take him back time after time after time after.........


He DON'T care that he has hurt you, he only cares about pleasing his sex drive,and he doesn't love any of those other girls either they are sex toys to him.They didn't care that he had 2 babies with you either.


Now, say this to yourself:


';I made a mistake.I picked a selfish self centered pig who is a druggie user and a loser and who does not love me.I foolishly made 2 babies with this pig and I will NOT repeat this mistake again.';


Then dump him, do not look back just make sure you get the child support money.Then no more sex until you are married.Get into church and get right with the LORD and HE will eventually send you a man who loves and adores you and will treat you like someone special and will be a good father to your kids.The United Pentecostal churches are good,try one of them.Going crazy trying to get over cheating...?
really if it makes u feel that way it is not healthy. it takes more guts to walk away than to stay. once a cheater always a cheater. doesnt matter when it happend all he needs is another excuse to do it again.. he was trying to make u feel like it was ur fault he cheated.


there is nothing wrong with u. you are a good honest person who deserves honesty. AND he never told u, u found out! how can u ever trust him.


this is not health for you or your child, because they will grow up in an environment that is somewhat hostile
i think that your first priority should be your kid now. No need to worry about the past, concentrate on the future of your kid. If your boyfriend has decided to stop and give you a hand, take advantage of it now that you need it the most, the time that you recover. Give him another chance to prove you that he deserves to be with you, but, if he starts again his stupid behavior, you should make it clear with him that it's over. The other option would be to side with your family, as you will need all the moral support you can get and get rid of him for good, you can then mourn him, get over with it, and start a better life with a better man. But for now, take care of your kid, just put aside the past because if you don't, it will destroy you slowly...