Wednesday, August 18, 2010

How do I cope and what should I do?

I am 38 weeks pregnant and due at any time. I married my best friend of 18 years last December, everything was perfect between us and I was so happy. Well in January he stopped working and we lost our place and had to move in with his grandma. I have a 3 year old daughter from a previous relationship and he has a 6 year old son from one as well. Well the four of us have been living in his grandma's basement since January and he hasn't made any attempt to get us out. I am a high risk pregnancy and can't work because i've been on bed rest. Well a few weeks ago he kicked me and my daughter out and we've been sleeping on my brother's couch. I have no where to take my new baby and no one to help me, I have no money and I am so alone. My husband stops over everyday just to make sure I'm not with anyone else and refuses to help me. He kicked me out because I accused him of cheating because he's been staying out all night. I'm so lostHow do I cope and what should I do?
Oh you precious sweet young lady. I am so sorry that you are going through all of this. Please turn to God and pray. Ask him to guide you in what and where you need to be. He can give us the strength to go on when nothing else can. Take care of yourself during this high risk pregnancy. Get your mind off of this guy that is in %26amp; out of your life. It's not worth losing your baby over stressing out. I know it has to be hard but I also know that you can do it. You can get through this. Look into the eyes of your precious daugther %26amp; let her help give you the strength %26amp; love you need right now. Stay close to family right now and lean on them. That is what family is for and someday you can be the one they're leaning on for support. Don't ever be ashamed of asking for help. We are all human and we all struggle in different ways. We all have to ask for help now and again. You will be fine. I just feel it in my heart a peace that everything will be just fine for you. Please keep us posted on here as to how you are doing and let everyone on here know the power of prayer. God loves you and so do we here on Y!A... Take care %26amp; God bless... Lots of love, your friend 28 woman~How do I cope and what should I do?
Oh congratulations. Maybe by the time you read this you will already have your new baby... I'm glad to hear you are on the road to taking care of business! It feels so invigorating to know you are doing what you can %26amp; doing your best. Great job!

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Sounds like he is or something because otherwise he wouldn't have kicked you out. Girlfriend, follow your woman's intuition, its telling you what's going on. You also need to contact some local agencies to help you get in a place and help you get what you need for your new bundle of joy. Don't be stupid either. Divorce him as soon as you get the money and have the means to stand on your own two feet. I am so sorry that you are going through all this. I will be praying for you.
I am so sorry, the good news is that Jesus loves us so much that He came to save us and set us free from all our pains,He came to give us life and life more abundently, all you have to do is ask Him to forgive you of all your sins, then ask Him to come into your heart, He will fill you up with love, peace, joy and more, and all your needs will be met......may God bless you
I'm sorry your husband, who is suppose to be your protector, has kicked you out! Pray for him to let God change his heart. Go get on welfare - food stamps can keep you alive! Please don't have any more children!
Good God---this stuff is Jerry Springer Material---you better focus on the baby that is going to come no matter what the situation. That baby is your number one concern, The stress of a loser that won't come around and offer any help is NOT what you need now--so forget him and don't think about him----be concerned and happy for the BABY AND YOU---he won't help, he is a creep, he is a deadbeat, and probably is up to something no good---so why beat yourself upover it??? Just forget him for now. Relax---enjoy the new baby, worry about what you need to NOW--prioritize your issues.
honey hes a loser kicks his pregnant wife out and your due very soon and checks on you to see if your with a man when your on bedrest there is alot of help out there for single mothers low income housing go check it out and get rid of him if hes not there for you now do you really think hes gonna be a good father plus a good husband i dont think so gl to ya and your children tc jewels
He's just a lazy loser who has no self esteem. My bf had/has very low self esteem and found it really hard to get a good job that lasted, now he has two and we are so much happier!





You have two children to raise alone now - don't let this sucker drag you down or try to get on board the success train you will create when you can work again. Get your friends and family to pitch in that's what they are there for, if you have no family then you will have to find the nearest womens shelter - they will look after all of you.





He should understand that women get hormonal when they are pregnant and say silly things ALL the time, I did and my sister did! Just leave him and start anew, he lost the rights to that baby when he kicked it out on the street unborn and all.
not sure of your degree of religion, but you should check with some of the churches in your area. They will help you!
Check what government benefits you may be entitled to. Also, go to a women's shelter, they can probably provide you with some temporary accomodation. Get a divorce and make him pay some alimony and child support.





Most importantly... turn to your family for strength.. you need to be strong for your baby. Talk to your family about how you feel. Lean on them as much as you can.. they will help you. Take care of yourself sweetie.. there is always a way through the darkness, and there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.
Precious you are not lost you are just in a situation for a little while, once you have that baby, get well, find daycare, and a job, and move forward. If he put you out in while you are pregnant, with a small child imagine what he'll do when real hard times come, like real adults have. i know you are heart broken, this will heal in due time I promise, but right now yo must stay strong for your children
Oh God, that is awful. After all this and that he could be so cruel, are you still interested in restoring the relationship? If so, then try to find some way to sit down and open up conversation with him to help him understand that his behavior was not acceptable but that, no, maybe it was not the right choice to accuse him of cheating. Address the behavior without making accusations of why. Obviously he still cares if he worries about you bein with someone else when you are 38 weeks pregnant. Pregnancy is beautiful, but not exactly prime dating time. It is also very fair to say you are not intersted in him anymore. He has made some pretty hurtful choices. If that is the case, then you need to get to an attorney to get right on child support for your new baby. Your obstetrian may be able to point you to some state resources as well. Hopefully you are on state disability for the pregnancy as it will be a while before you are able to start working again. I'm so sorry, that is a very hard situation. You have my prayers and concerns.
You need to file for divorce, seek help from state aid and file a restraining order to keep him away from you and your brother's house.





He does not care for you and is only checking up on you because he is controlling. He does not care for the children because he is not employed, not seeking employment and staying out all night.





You were probably right, he probably did cheat. That could have been worked out, but with the way he has treated you and been irresponsible with the care of the children...Well, lets just say that there is nothing in your or your kids future but misery if you do not file for divorce and move on.





This man will not change and he will never be a good husband or father. Moving on and keeping him out of your life is the best thing to do for noth you and your kids.
Sorry sugar,but sounds like its time to go see a good divorce lawyer
Your brother needs to belt the sh!t out of him, and if he won't....I WILL!





Don't worry about your new baby, I feel that it will be a struggle, but at least you're all out of the weather thanks to your brother.





Don't panic about the future just yet, cross every bridge as you come to it.





Also try to talk to your husband. But before you do think about your role in things as well. I have a new baby, just six months old. I can tell you that there were times, especially late in the pregneancy that my wife was absolute torture! Some of the stuff she would complain about wasn't logical, but to her made perfect sense! Maybe he was out late working, in order to get you into your own place, or to buy stuff for the baby. I don't know. I don't have all the info about you guys, but if you've been friends for 18 years surely you have at least got some trust right?





Your husband should have put his ego in his back pocket, and reassured you that things were okay. Not kicked you out. Don't forget that babies are stressful for Dads too!








Cheers





Bronco
You first need to tell your husband to stay away from you. Second, you might want to contact the nearest women's shelter in your area and ask if they can help with food, clothing, shelter. Calling a local church might also help. Your husband obviously doesn't care enough about your well-being, your daughter's or your unborn baby's, so you need to watch out for yourself.

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