How do i cope with the new wife? The woman he cheated with?

We have a preteen daughter together who was pretty much around and understands the horrible ending of the relationship..a relationship where he was sleeping with a younger woman while in a relationship with me and talking constantly trying to convince me that he wanted to be married. After everything came out in the open and i left the situation...6 months later he married the younger woman he was f%$king. NOW, he wants me to be cooperative in allowing my daughter to spend quality time and to call his wife and he cant understand why the situation makes me feel so uncomfortable. The woman even knew about me when we were together and she has the nerve to not GET IT'; that i just could care less to make things so comfy and easy for them as far as my kid is concerned..i am never disrespectful I guess i just try to avoid her and him and phone calls and conversations and all....to top it all off, my daughter and the wife really likes each other..i know i should be happy that they get along but it is very hurtful. how should i handle this?How do i cope with the new wife? The woman he cheated with?
I would be looking at this a lot differently if this were just his gf. Or even if this was just a woman that he was living with- because let's face it. Girlfriends can come and go and your daughter doesn't need the instability. However, he has chosen to marry this woman and make her a permanent part of his life and of your daughter's life- so there has got to be a little compromise on your part. Understanding if you will.





You should be really glad that your daughter likes her, because that woman is now her Step-Mother.


I know this doesn't change anything, and you are entitled to your own feelings/opinions- but what could you possibly gain by making their lives more difficult?





On a side note, as far as you being mad about her being aware of your relationships with him and just not getting it... well, there are 2 sides to every story and who knows what kind of stuff your ex was telling her. I'm sure he didn't paint you in the best picture when talking about you to her. You might want to sit down with her yourself (since she will be a part of your life for a long while now- if all goes well for them) and let her get to know the real you. And you can use that opportunity to get to know her better too.


All I'm saying is that it won't do any of you any good to not get along. For your daughter's sake- you should at least try.





Hope this helps. Good Luck!How do i cope with the new wife? The woman he cheated with?
It sounds like you're in a no-win situation.





My advice would be this: take the high road.


Treat them with the respect you would like to have.





Do they deserve it? No.





But you do it because you want don't want to stress your daughter and because you're a better person than either of them.





Think of it this way: you'd be modeling good behavior for your daughter.


Acting classy is the best revenge.





Good luck.
Wow, that's really tough. Just move on, and remember that if you can be positive it IS for the benefit of your daughter.





And.. you can explain that to your daughter. You know, that people in this world are cruel, but you have to take the highroad.
You would do well to stop telling yourself that they ';need'; to get it. They don't understand, and that is the reality you simply have to live with. Focus on doing what is best for your daughter, and put your own anger and hurt to the side for her sake.
Honestly... Let it go. Put the past in past an let it go. Move on urself. U can't keep ur daughter from him so this is where u are to be the bigger person an suck it up. B4 u know it, it won't even bother u anymore. U will be thankful u no longer have to live w/ him cuz he will eventually cheat on this one too.
Man, that's tough. I simply am coming from an emotional standpoint, and not having the intelligent answer you need. This may be the only situation whereas I would relocate, start my life over and forbid any interraction with him. He's a bastard and your daughter will form her own ideas as to how ugly her dad was towards you. BUT in this case, I'd push fast forward and explain the gory details myself. He doesnt't deserve her. That witch of a wife should not be hugging %26amp; spittin' all over my daughters face and buying her ANYTHING! I'm so sorry but this is the best I've got.
I understand that it is hurtful and this is definitely something that shouldn't be taken lightly. However, she is his daughter and if you can make this easy for HER then you should do that. The feeling you have is wanting to get back at them and make them suffer and hurt just a little bit since you have suffered so much. But if your daughter likes her and this is an easy transition for her then isn't that what you would want. I know this isn't what you want to hear so I apologize for that. Do what you've been doing. You don't have to socialize...he can call to speak to his daughter, see her and you don't have to have contact with that woman at all.
That would piss me off too. Screw that man for doing this to you and now expecting you to be the bigger person after he was such a slime. Get yourself out there and find a new man with a bigger c*** and you wont give 2 sh***s about those imbeciles anymore. Send your daughter to live with your husband and his new wife if they're so keen on each other. Then all you need to do is sit back and wait. Trust me, once the new woman finds out she's also the new mommy...and also now has to play second fiddle to your daughter, she might not like that very much. Oooh boy, I'd almost like to watch that one unfold...hehe! I sounds a little means, don't I?? lol
Of course its hurtful - mainly to you. But you have a daughter together and she deserves to have you and her father in her life. He's now married to the woman whether you like it or not and that woman IS your child's step mother.





So get some counseling if needed and move on with your life. You don't have to like her, but you do have to deal with her being in your child's life now. Be polite, and thankful that you and your ex can still be a positive part in your child's life.





Its not about you any more - its about your child - keep that in mind in all situations.
So your a**hole of an ex wants you to show respect for his new wife even though both he and her had non for you? Say ';No';. Your not comfortable and I don't blame you.





Don't worry about your daughter liking the new wife. She's only doing it because she's at the age where she wants to remain daddy's little girl. Keep your head high and be classy.





Eventually your ex will divorce the new wife so go enjoy yours in the meantime and try not to smile too much when he comes crying to sleep on the couch.