I have found out my partner has been cheating for the third time.?

i have been with him for 26 years - the first time he cheated i found out 6 years into the reltionship, we managed to get over it and everythig was fine. Then 5 years ago it hapened again which sent me into a terrible depression and i am still taking prozac. Last night it happened for a third time and i don't see how i can get over this this time - he is denying everything and i just feel like dying; how on earth can i cope?I have found out my partner has been cheating for the third time.?
You shoulda kicked his *** out the first time. Every time you forgave him for cheating on you, you were basically saying ';it's ok sweetie, do whatever you want, it's ok, I love you , I'll still be here when you're done with that whore';. And that is why he continues to do it - because you let him. Dump him already, he's nothing. You will be sooooo much happier without that creep.I have found out my partner has been cheating for the third time.?
Cope? Are you kidding?! That's like saying- I got a cold, how can I Cope with the symptoms? It sounds like you're saying I'm not gonna actually leave him this time either. I just want to know how do I deal with it? Everyone knows that once a cheater always a cheater. Apparently you missed the memo or tore it up when you got it. Look, if all you're gonna do is cry and go back to him, then you deserve what ever he does because you're being the dumb, forgiving fool he knows you are. It don't take a rocket scientist to figure this one out. But if you just gotta hear/see it out loud, here ya go -LEAVE HIM!!!! I'll say it again- LEAVE HIM!!! Third times the charm-LEAVE HIM!!!!! Hopefully you'll get it. I said it three times for the three times he cheated.
Here is how to cope. Grow some overnight respect for yourself. Decide that you deserve better and go see a lawyer. Tell the lawyer what is happening and take this Ahole for everything you can get. Make a new life for yourself. Go back to college. Join a divorce recovery class. And NEVER look back. He is dead to you.





Enjoy.





PS - This is no flippant answer. It's what you should have done years ago and you know it.
I found out my husband cheated on me and forgave him, the second time I left him and went back to him after a month of him saying it would not ever happen again and how sorry he was the third time I finally left him for good because I figured out he wasn't going to change. After 6 years he admitted that he had cheated over 50 times while we were together. Putting me at risk for STDS and hiv. This man still cheats on his new girlfriend, I'm sure he must have a addiction or obsession but I was stupid to think he would change. Just because you only know about 3 don't mean that's the only times he has cheated.
Dear Auntie Debbo,


Firstly I have to say I know what it is like to be with a man for as long as you have.


It's so hard to let go of a man that you are bonded to. You tend to look for any excuse not to believe what is in front of your eyes.You seemed to have come to terms with the two previous affairs-but I know you cannot forgive this one.It has happened to me.


How did you find out about it ?Do you know the woman concerned ?


It depends if you can survive mentally and physically on your own.


I would say try councelling,but he needs to know that even if you do eventually forgive him,you will never forget.


Don't do anything in haste-think about what you want from the future.


Good Luck
What I found most sad when reading your question, was how little self esteem you have, your self respect, dignity, and self worth does not exist. Don't spend any more on this man..he does not love or respect you in any way. You must believe somewhere deep inside of you , that you deserve to be treated better than this...it's no wonder you are on prozac living with someone that treats you in that manner. Only you can put and end to this...get rid of him now! don't waste any more years on him. There is a life waiting for you outside of this very unhealthy relationship.
first time, shame on you. second time, shame on mr. if there's a third time, it's a strike.





i'm sorry you're dealing with this. he's not going to admit. please don't turn his selfishness around on yourself by putting yourself down. HE's the one who's not worth it - it's not you.





after 26 years, i don't know whether to advise you to begin a new life, or to maintain the one you're in. that's so many decisions involved....man, without details, i wouldn't know where to begin.





take a break - spend a week or two in a cabin, alone with some wine and a good book. give yourself an opportunity to process these feelings without distraction of any kind (meaning, leave the cell and the laptop at home). since you've been here before, i know you know it's going to be a long, hard ride - so please, do yourself a favor and start listening to YOU for a change.





good luck.
Well If i was you I would have left him 2 times ago, but I know how hard it is. You will have to go through therapy to see if that helps, but a lot of times it wont, you will always have that though in the back of your head of him cheating on you and its going to ruin your marriage, I wish you the best of luck with the situation, and dint forget. their is only so much you can do, then comes god. Good luck, take care.
I don't mean to be harsh, but you have to face the fact that your partner is a serial cheater. Of course he will go on doing it, because he knows that you won't leave him. He doesn't care that it breaks your heart, as long as you don't leave - because, deep down, he doesn't believe that anyone's feelings are real except his own.


I have been in your position, I left. It was really, really hard, but it was totally worth it: now I am standing on my own feet, I am the boss of me, and I am so happy! Don't keep making yourself a doormat for this man to wipe his feet on. You are never too old to learn to live alone and like it!
hi


don't give him another 26 years, i know what its like hoping someone will change, sometimes its easier to stay in the relationship. Leaving will be hard and lonely and your depression may get worse. Make sure you have plenty of support from close friends and family. See a counsellor and your dr, make sure you take your meds properly as you may well dip before you get better.


If you have been depressed for 5yrs i wonder whether ther have been ongoing stresses in the relationship that have been preventing you from making a full recovery?





sorry, good luck for the future
I know this is a very difficult situation for you, but if he had already cheated twice, it is very likely that it is going to continue to happen. Just like if a guy hits you once, he will do it again. You shouldn't beat yourself up over this. You deserve someone so much better, and he is not worth you being all depressed. Life is too short. Get rid of him and move on. It may be difficult at first, but you will look back and wonder why you stayed with him for so long.
Sorry to hear of your troubles . its not easy any time of the year but must feel especially horrible this time of the year when good cheer and love and laughter supposed to abound. You should look at the past for the answer. You managed to get over his infidelity before so that means you can again. You be surprised at the inner strength that you have and the emotional resources that are there with in you . Right now just take a deep breath and tell him it has to stop or else. don't keep going on about it, and don't dwell on it . However take stock of whats good in your life and think about that that's, rather than dwelling on the things that hurt you.





At some point you will have to make your mind up what you are going to do about his philandering, but not yet! hold fire and let things be for the time being. Once the new year is here you can decide whether you will be seeing a divorce lawyer.
christ why on earth would you let anyone dominate your life like that? Once is enough but you let him do it to you again and again he even got you on taking prozac ! You need to wake up stop playing the part of the victim and move on with your life before its too late. No one should ever disrespect you like this unless you let them.


Get your S H I T together and live your life without drama.
wow. 26 years, and it doesn't sound like he can make up his mind. you need to get some counseling, and you need to give him some ultimatums. either he loves you or not. I know 26 years is a lot of time invested, but you can't continue like this. you may need to open your mind to the possibility that you two may not be together much longer. try to work it out, but if he doesn't, then leave him.
Have some courage this time to dump him. He'll continue to make your life a very painful existence. Look, you're not an old lady so you have choices. It will be hard but in the long run when you've left and he's just a bad memory you'll realise that you do't deserve that kind of ****. maybe move away for a while, get a new job, change things about yourself- be happy. Meet other women in situations that you think you an offer advice on. he's a low life and deserves nothing from you. You may not believe it, but the strength and support you receive from your sisters and friends will really help you. You'll find real happiness away from him.
You shouldn't have to cope. He shouldn't be putting you through this.





I know the thought of ending a marriage and being alone is scary, but honestly, can it be any worse than what you are going through right now??





You've heard the saying, hurt me once shame on you, hurt me twice shame on me. He will continue this behavior because you have made it acceptable. Show him that you won't be degraded like this any longer. He'll be the one hurting in the end.
I have to agree with Incubus on this one. When you let him back in after the first two occurrences, you were guaranteeing more occurrences. Once a cheat, always a cheat. Try to salvage a history of friendship with him (though it seems unlikely given the enormous time you two have been ';together';), but definitely move on. Try being alone for a while, long enough to know that you are strong without him, and maybe you won't feel so victimized.





You have my total sympathy, I know this isn't easy.
Stop being depressed by a cheat. That is not a real reason for that. Basically, that is not a big deal if a male cheats time to time, but if you cannot handle it then look for an other male. Anyways, the more depressed you are the more probably will he cheat with a smiling girl. He wants to live and not dying.
Have you asked him WHY he is cheating? Is it some thing you are doing or not doing? I know there is no excuse for cheating, but ask him. I think you should leave him. How many other times has he cheated? You let him get away with it twice, so why wouldn't he do it again a third time? Any guy probably would. He won't stop.
Three times,man hes a real catch what about the times that you didn't catch on.When you have tumor its removed before it causes to many problems,the problem with you is that you have had this tumor for 20 years,you cope by removing this jerk from your life,at this point it should be easy
no one deserves to be cheated on. once a cheat, always a cheat...


and thats been proved, as hes cheated on you more than once.


i cant believe you forgave him and got back with him...


and i know how you feel coz it happened to me


just think...


if he loved you. he wouldnt have cheated.


i think you should leave him


and find someone who respects you.
if you're not married and you don't like being single then find yourself someone else then when you know you guys really like each other then you need to dump this current person and move out but don't announce your new relationship until after 3 months of breaking up with your current partner so people don't have anything to say about you.good luck
Yea, by staying after the first one, you sort of gave him permission to do it again. The third time is in your face. Something is missing in your relationship for him to want to cheat...or he just has a mental issue with other women..Either accept it...or move on...you deserve a good, happy life too...and if he cannot give it to you...someone other nice man will
You should have figured out that the relationship was not going to be permanent and committed when the idea of marriage did not occur over the last 26 years.





Get the Hell away from him and salvage what remains of your self-esteem. Be sure to get screened for STD's.
You should of dumped him the first time. Just goes to show once a cheat always a cheat. Why do you feel like dying?


Take the bull by the horns and move on. That's what you do? Or you will spend the rest of your life dealing with a fourth, fifth, sixth etc... Imagine what you dont know?
you can cope by understanding your with a serial cheater, your worth so much more than that ,get some self respect and dump his sorry ***. this guy is bringing you misery ,is this what you want for the rest of your life
If he is still doing this as long as you two have been together he is probably not going to change. I think it's time that you move on, and you will be much happier in the future.
you both need counselling. he, because he can't stop cheating and you, because you need to deal with the depression and possibly getting over him.
hurt me once...shame on you.





hurt me twice...shame on me.








its tiimes for you to move on and do whats good for you. you deserve much better then this, dont you think?
Divorce him and buy some doughnuts, just remember to walk occasionally.
You need to end that relationship right now. If you have children, make sure that he takes care of them financially.