He's a successful musician %26amp; cheating on me and there's nothing I can do - is there? He's playing me %26amp; this girl off against eachother. I need him back - what can I do? She makes him jealous %26amp; he fights with her - but I seem too placid to deal with his ego. I wanted to write to him or do something that will make a difference. I am just one of many it seems. I don't know how to be 'the one he chooses' some women can keep their men in line - I can't. Don't tell me to leave - we're neighbours.....So he's a musician, so he has more power to pull, what do I do?
I'm sorry to hear of your dilemma. You know deep in your heart that he's bad for you...or you wouldn't be asking here. It seems like you are justifying this poor relationship by some erroneous arguments.
1. ';He's a successful musician %26amp; cheating on me and there's nothing I can do - is there?'; YES! You can leave.
2. ';I need him back - what can I do? '; What you really need is the man you THOUGHT you were dating. He apparently never existed. You don't need to get a cheater back. You need to move on because he isn't going to change.
3. ';I don't know how to be 'the one he chooses'; He is not about to make any solid commitments as long as there are women who fall all over him and waiting to be the chosen ones. He's a musician, not a god.
4. ';some women can keep their men in line'; That's just not true. Men have minds of their own and either they are trustworthy or not. If a woman is keeping her man in line, she either chose a good one, or he's good at hiding his tracks.
5. ';Don't tell me to leave - we're neighbours.....'; The Bible says to ';love thy neighbor...'; but you don't have to take it that literally. Break up with the guy and let him know why. Seeing you every day will be a reminder to him that not everybody accepts this behavior in a relationship.
Maybe someday he'll grow up and control his ego. Please don't hang on waiting, move on and find a man who loves you more than himself. Believe me, they are out there and you deserve better.So he's a musician, so he has more power to pull, what do I do?
No, there's nothing you can do, you've obviously made the decision that he's better than you, and therefore you'll put up with his cheating.
Don't be walked on.
Don't go near him.
You Do Not NEED him. You just want him.
Grow up.
I only wish you could respect yourself more and know that there are better men more suited to taking care of you.
Musician or not, this is one particular man that is totally playing you and you know it!!!!
So obviously the only RIGHT thing to do here and stop hanging on like a sick puppy and let him go, you deserve way better than that.
even if he is your neighbor, well go out with your friends and go hang out at their houses, and be out more often and get your mind off him, before you know it you'll be happier than you know. you'll see
That guy is hilarious. You cope by either accepting that you are going to be one of many, until he finally dumps you (hoping of course that by that time you haven't become lousy with STD's ) or you grow a back bone and dump him yourself.
You don't want people to tell you to leave him because it's really the a hard truth. That might at least shock him into realizing your worth, and will come begging back.
Either that or you'll eventually realize how badly you've let yourself be treated, will start finding yourself a bit happier. (although it'll be hard at first).
Also, I'd advise you to get tested for Sexually Transmitted Diseases as soon as possible, you never know how riddled he, or the girls he's been with, are.
Bag the Drummer!!!
Seriously...a lot of men in bands (not all of them) have Egos the size of houses but deep down are very Insecure. Why do you think they constantly need adoration and approval from people??
If I were you I'd just take control of the situation and treat him how he's treated you. Make yourself unavailable. Go out see other bands...tell him how much you've enjoyed them. If he's the Egomaniac you say he his he'll hate that...even more if it's a local band as they'll more than likely be competing on the circuit. Don't go crazy though as that sadly could go the other way.
Seriously though hon I'd call it quits while you're winning....you think you've lost but in all effect you've just had a lucky escape. If things haven't changed now they never will. He'll always be an *** and you won't change him. Even if you get him back from this other girl there will more than likely be some adoring floozy in the next town somewhere along the line.
This is a taster of what it will probably always be like with him....if you're still into musos grab a drummer they tend to be more quiet that the rest of the egocentrics in the band!!
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