Once a cheater, always a cheater. Now, here's a new story, girlfriend decides she wants ';daddy'; to be with her. Daddy has two children coming and in his mind, he is not going to admit, what if I stayed with girlfriend number 1...wonder if girlfriend number 2 would be the best one. One thing for sure, this boy is going to be paying child support no matter who he stays with. So, now, he is out money for two kids. Do you think or know that he's a responsible person? If you guys have another down time, what will he do that you don't know about? I know you want him, think this will work, but I sure wish you would rethink this cheating decision. Can you afford to take a chance on him cheating again, giving you a desease and then you have health issues and can't take care of this child? More to it kiddo than loving someone enough to take that one ......chance.....Congratulations on the baby...
How do you cope with being pregnant and having your boyfriend getting someone else pregnant at the same time?
You don't give your ages but if he has been unfaithful once then will you really have confidence in him not to do it again if things get rough in your relationship.
Does he know for certain that he is the father of the other girl's baby?
Possibly counselling will put things into perspective but at the end of the day it will be down to how much you trust him and love him.
Good luck for your future
If you truly love him and care about what happens to him, and if something bad happened to him you would feel sad, then you must have deep feelings for him. A counselor will really help, but it might be a little awkward having a boyfriend that works, is very busy, and has to girls that he got pregnant. Unless someone finds out that he was not the man that got the other girl pregnant.
Coping? That's a tough one. Did he say he was sorry only because you found out about his affair (like those politicians do when they get caught) or did he spill his guts and say he was sorry? That's a good character and best wishes to you in your efforts to get past this big hurdle.
If he was hiding it from you and only sorry because you found out, he might not be sorry for the right event.
Good luck
first i think you should get to know the other girl. it might sound weird but she going through the exact same thing as you! you might be able to help each other!
then you need to really think about the whole keeping your boyfriend thing. i mean you need to truly love him to keep him i mean look at the whole situation!
If it was a ';down time'; then he didn't cheat on you. First he should get a paternity test done with this other girl. You are going to have to push your emotions to the side. You chose to forgive him and that means you chose to accept the situation. She is going to be a mother also and she doesn't deserve to be in the middle of bad drama cause she slept with him , he ';cheated,'; if that's what you want to call it. This girl did not. So what needs to happen is if you choose to stay with him, then you need to accept this other baby because it is part of him and he should be as much apart of that baby, as he is of your baby. These babies didn't ask for any of this, they are innocent!!! If you can't get past this and accept this other child w/o insecurities or feeling he owes your baby more, then you need to get out of this. It is going to be very hard emotionaly, and the most relevant thing here, is that it doesn't just involve all of you adults tangled web of drama, it involves the babies. They are the priority and nothing else is relevant. He should try to be there for that birth as well. He should call her and check on her health while pregnant, see if she needs anything etc. If you can't deal with all of that, then you need to get out of the relationship. YOur insecurities from his choice during down time, will have to disipate cause he needs to be a father and your emotions on all of the past should NEVER hinder that. If you can't handle that, then get out of the relationship. If you love your bf, then you need to give a **** about this other girl cause she is carrying his baby, and if you love him, then you will need to love his baggage and that is his flesh and blood. If you don't then you need to get out of the relationship. You have a choice here, and you chose to get back with him. He cheated, not her, he had the commitment to you, not her. It is him, NOT HER!!! Clearly he is good at getting his way and sweet talking and clearly it worked on both you ladies. But during down time, that's not cheating, THIS IS NO LONGER ABOUT YOU AND HIM, THIS IS ABOUT THE NEW LIFE THAT IS INNOCENT AND NEEDS TO BE THE #1 PRIORITY!!!!! you are not a victim here any more than this other girl is, and you chose to get back with him, so don't place your blame on the girl so that you can move forward with him. He did you wrong, not her and now she is going to have a baby alone.
You chose to forgive him, so also you need to stop digging into the ';affair'; during down time, which is NOT an affair. But you forgave his so you chose to move on.
First, what in the h*ll is ';down time';? Second, the likely hood that he used a condom and it actually broke is slim. That is what they all say. Not saying it doesn't happen (it does) but...keep in mind...it may not have happened that way. I bring that up, because you want to make sure he is being honest with you...and he has put a period at the end of that other relationship. Remember you plan on staying with this man. The last thing you need is lies and secrets.
If ';down time'; means you two were not together...than ok...what is there to cope with? Besides, you planned a baby with a man...and you two aren't even married. Not a bright idea. It's hard enough creating a family and keeping things sane when you're married.... You basically put the horse before the cart.
If you plan on staying with him...take it one day at a time. You don't have to be the girl's best friend, but you do have to get along with her for the sake of the children. Being able to do that will show just how mature you are...and if you were in fact ready to procreate. You can't control how she behaves...but you can determine how you will behave in all of this. Handle it like a lady.
Good Luck....
First of all the cheating and the pregnancy are two separate issues. You really need to talk and deal with the cheating. As for the pregnancy, this may or may not be his child. I wouldn't be ugly to her but until there is a paternity test that says he is the father, I wouldn't have too much to do with it. I'd let her know that if he is indeed the father, he will provide financial support and do the right thing but that all depends upon paternity.
If it is his baby, then there is the issue of trust again. It will be a hard road but if both of you are sincere and willing to work on it, it can work out.
No comments:
Post a Comment