How do i forgive my cheating wife?

first off i would like to say that i dont want any answers of i cannot forgive her or to cheat myself. those are stupid immiture answers.





here is our story. my wife went out of town for business last tue.-thurs. they had a confrence where they split up into groups of people working for her company. there was a man there that was paying her compliments and hitting on her. they all had dinner together as a group and after the dinner they all ent to the bar. he was buying her drinks and at the end of the night he told her his room number and told her to meet her there. she did. he is from tenn. and we are from mich. i found this out on sunday and confonted her about it and at first she denied it but i persisted nd finally got the truth out of her. she said that they just did oral because he told her that he cannot have sex with her because she is married. either way it is cheating ad she knows that. she told me that sh never planned on telling me because telling me would hurt me more than it would make her feel good. i left for the night togive her some time to think and for me to think. monday we got back together to talk and she said that she was sorry and didnt mean to hurt me. it was a one time thing to fulfill her selfish wants and needs. she spent some time with family to try to help her out in the decision that had to be made. she told me that she wants to stay together and work tings out. we have a 4 year old and a 2 year old and i truly do love her and do want to work things out but am not sure how to. i feel like i want to punch her in the face (which i would never do) but at the same time i want to hold her forever and never let her go. i feel like i hate her but at the same time i feel like i have never loved her more. i see what we stand to lose and i truly do love her and want to make things work. what can i do to cope with the pain and get through this? i want things to work.





thank you for your time and i am sorry for the novel.How do i forgive my cheating wife?
I think what you need is a good apology, for starters. Tell your wife you need it, and that it should consist of three parts:





1. She should state exactly what she did wrong, admitting openly that it was wrong.





2. She should say that she is sorry, why she is sorry, and how sorry she is. She should also try to express to you her understanding of how this must be making you feel.





3. She should express her resolve never to do this again, and present you with a plan for how she plans to avoid placing herself in the same situation again in the future.





Most people understand and use the first two steps above. However, I need to stress that #3 is equally vital. Get your full apology, including her plan for prevention of future cheating, and go from there.How do i forgive my cheating wife?
The sucks dude. If you really love her then forgive her. You're probably going to need to make some changes though. Things will never be the way they were before.
Go to www.survivinginfidelity.com. The site is full of people with similar stories and tons of great advice.





Good Luck!
once the bond of trust is broken you can never get it back
you both should go for ccounseling


conseling does work


also next time don't let her go alone
You don't forgive her. Period.
First let me start by saying that I am so sorry you have to go through this. Since my husband cheated while he was away on business this past summer I can understand some of the feeling you are having.





Coping with the anger, rage, turmoil, pain, betrayal and grief that you are feeling will be a very long and difficult road. While it has been six months here those feeling are still just below the surface and can erupt at any moment.





Wanting to beat the hell out of my husband one moment and pull him close to me and never let go the next moment is not only confusing for me but for him as well.





There are no clear simple answers to your question. Sadly an affair changes the people involved and the relationship permanently, take your time and grieve the death of what you two had. Hopefully if you both want it badly enough you can slowly begin to forge a new relationship.





I wish you luck and strength while you struggle through this time in your life.
i agree with suzie .you are going thru a lot of emotions right now you need to let her know that you will be xperincing a lot of feelings and she just cant expect you to go on just as nothin has happend ,it seems that you really love her .you pray to god about it if you can stay with her aftet this that is up to you hope everything turns out swell for you and your family
for give her and help her because she need help from you if you let her down all her mined will not be in peace. and you have 2 childrens with her and give her more attentions and mor love and do allots romantic things with her .
Adultery puts a big strain on marriages. It causes of a lot of mistrust. I'll tell you what I told the other person w/ a similar question. Marriage needs a solid foundation, just like a house. The foundation is trust. When the trust is broken, the foundation is broken. And when the foundation of a house is messed up, everything else starts to go wrong and it's a major problem. That's why God said it's okay to divorce but only for adultery. It just causes too many problems and that's not how He intended marriage to be.
Just forgive her; but never trust her again. Continue to be a good father of the family, and encourage her to do her part as a good mother. Cease to be a husband -- you're free. But remain partners for the children's sake. That could be done without strings attached. I could say this very well, and I hope you got what I mean. Thanks.
ah, sorry to read that past...





you have the capacity to love her, you really do.


use that tool as a forgiving means to love her more... and why not? the consequences are greater than the opposites, the separation and loving still or ... they are the greatest still, if you think long enough.





no more working with it... it will just amplify the gravity by ';working out';


besides, you are both have fine tunings...





just love her.... best wishes and God bless you.


good luck
When you say to fulfill her ';selfish needs and wants'; what do you mean? Do you make the effort to please her sexually? Does she get across the ';finish line'; when you have sex? If not, this is going to happen again. If so, than I don't really understand why she cheated.
You don't muddle muddled things up to make them better. If you can truly forgive her and you said you did. Then just do that and move on.





If this is impossible then you have to think of another recourse, one that you can live with. I know easier said than done, but then again, you must be in hell now. Either forgive totally or let go, other parts are just details.
It's tough to move on at this point since every time you see her you will be reminded that she betrayed you. You love her too much and that's why it hurts. I think two things you will have to consider:





1. Can you truly forgive her? Obviously, everything is not going back to normal and if you let this incident stays between you and your wife, then your marriage will fail sooner or later. If you cannot pass beyond this, then you might as well just leave her now.





2. There is not one thing you can do to make this go away, so stop trying. You just have to find in your heart to let it go. If not, you will have to carry it for the rest of your life. I guess, it comes down to the ultimate question: do you think she is worthy of forgiveness.
If you can set your mind to forgive and forget her, it will be the best way to solve the problem but she has to stop this behavior or cheating on you. My husband brother in law also have the same problem but only he was the one went to Conference oversea (only 2 weeks) came back and found out she cheated on him. But because they had kids (3) and he loves here so much..so he forgive her and try to forget it (still like scars deep inside) they have renew their marriage, went on the honey moon (Greece) and came back..he treat her better, (help cleaning, with kids..etc) to make her happy as much as he could. I think you should give her a chance? If you could....I understand it will be very hard....
Of course you're angry and hurt. Who wouldn't be? You obviously love her. What you have to do is find out what caused it. Is there not enough excitement in your sex life? Do you not compliment her and make her feel sexy? Are things good between you but it was just a stupid drunken impulsive decision? You need to really talk about this with her until you are sure that it won't happen again. One way to prevent it is to be the best husband you can be. If you take care of her needs and make her feel like the most beautiful, most cherished woman alive she will not seek out other men and will turn down the ones who come on to her (unless she's just a stupid selfish whore).
You can forgive her or tell yourself that you forgive her,But can you forget and trust her ever again? I have been in your shoes, and forgave until it happened again, and yes she said it will never happen again, how do you know it won't or that this is the first time, You'll have these doughts in your mind forever. I divorced my husband over 34 years ago we had two small girls, I never got the trust back. And I'm sorry but I don't believe just oral sex happened. But this is your marriage not mine.You have to ask yourself this next time she goes out of town, what is she doing now? Is he there too? Can I trust her? Do I trust her not to do this again? You have a long road ahead of you. You might both want to go for counsling? Good Luck.Oh and by the way my ex has been married twice since we were divorced, I guess his other exs couldn't trust him either.
wow that was long too read,


but what is with everyone i've answered already 10 questions about cheating on people


okay if someone cheats on you and specailly does stuff with the guy


do you really think you should trust her anymore


DO YOU!


i mean i Would be so upset if i were you.


i caught my boyfriend cheating on and guess what i saw the movie


with cameron diaz and aston the los vages one and i did the same thing that the girl did


i KICKed him in the balls and he said why and i said YOU know Why


and guess what he learned his lesson he never cheated on a girl ever again.





You Can Let People think that they can push you around!


you need to stand up for yourself all the time


and even though you love someone .. and they cheated on you, how do you know she wont do it again? how can you trust them still.


and how do you know that there isnt other guys.








thats my advice hope it helps you.
It's not going to be easy to forgive her but time can heal alot of hurt you have two great kids that need a mother and father to be together with love in thier hearts try thinking about about the good parts of the life you had together the bad thing are always easy to remember but thinking about all the good can help push the bad things out of your life....have a GREAT LIFE.
Some people can stay in that sort of marriage and get on with things and others can't. I couldn't. it eats away at you and however hard you try it ruins every minute of your life. If you stay and forgive you have to not keep bringing it up and put up with the fact that every time she goes somewhere you are going to feel sick. If you can do that then good luck to you.