I took back my cheating boyfriend, but I'm still paranoid. What should I do?

A few days before my boyfriend and I hit our one year relationship, I found out he cheated on me. His phone, which is usually locked, started ringing and I forwarded the call to voicemail while he was in the shower. (We have been living together for quite a while now.) This action opened his phone to me and I decided to snoop through his text messages. I did this because I had a nagging feeling the past few months that he's been hiding something. About four months prior, he had come to me crying and depressed because he hated himself for ';flirting with other girls'; while he was out working. He had also been telling me to change my appearance, the things he used to love about me. My last clue was that he had been very paranoid about ME cheating on HIM, always looking at my phone. My suspicions were confirmed looking at his phone. Just as early as a week before I found out, he was still talking to a certain girl about bringing condoms ';next time'; and apparently had been going to her apartment on his one hour lunch breaks. I have no idea how long this has been going on. He claims it just happened once, but I have a gut feeling he's been cheating on me for a long time and would have kept doing so had I not found out. He said he didn't tell me because he didn't want to hurt me, which I know is B.S.





Because we live together and were in such a serious relationship, on the third day after I found out I told him we could try to work things out. It's been about two to three weeks since I found out, and I have developed severe anxiety over all of this. I wake up every morning next to him thinking that he has been doing this to me more than once, and that now he knows how to hide it better. What's stopping him from doing it again? I've had three anxiety attacks over this so far, two of them while I was out alone and the worst one during a morning he was sitting right next to me. While he seems worried about me I can't help but think it won't stop him from cheating again, just hiding it better.





It's pretty life shattering to realize the person you were ready to spend the rest of your life with, who you thought was your perfect partner, is cheating on you. I thought I had the perfect relationship, and it was apparently all a joke to him.





I guess I'm still with him because I really want this to work out. I want that illusion of a perfect relationship back again. Recently, he's started talking about wanting to marry me ';very soon'; and it's really concerning me. I told him no, I'm not ready. He must be doing this just to make me happy after the incident, right? It seems dumb to me.





If I leave him, won't it be even harder for me to cope? Do you think I'll still have these anxiety attacks? While I realize the decision is up to me, I would love advice because I haven't talked about this to anyone. What is your advice?I took back my cheating boyfriend, but I'm still paranoid. What should I do?
Roll the dice, flip the coin , but don't stress on it.





It can easily go either way but you'll never know if you don't try.





If it works out , great, if not you'll know it's not because you didn't try.





But if you are too paranoid to comfortably try you will only torture yourself and sabotage any chance you might have.I took back my cheating boyfriend, but I'm still paranoid. What should I do?
I took back my cheating boyfriend, but I'm still paranoid. What should I do?





ummm...DUMP HIM, duh. move on.
dump him .if he is cheating on u
If you decided to work things out then you must let it go. I personally would never forgive my husband if he cheated and I would leave or make him leave. You had two choices, to either move on or to end the relationship at that moment. Because you chose to work it out because the relationship is a serious one (for you because for him it obviously wasn't) then you need to leave all of it behind. If you think you can't move on wondering day after day if he is cheating on you then let him go and end the relationship. It doesn't matter how much it hurts now if you end it, it will always be less than if you wait a few more years and realize he wil never change.
I'm a man and I don't need to read the book u wrote, to see that ur nuts. Once thy cheat, thy will always cheat. The question is, how long was he cheating for . He could have been cheating on u from the start. But u know what thy say, u live by ur mistakes. And u made one. Dump his A@@. Because he will do it again. And believe me u will get over it. Best of luck,
It's very hard to regain trust if a partner is cheating or has cheated. Also, once a cheater is always a cheater. They hardly change. Thank God that you're not yet married to this man. Just move forward with your life. If you stay with him, even if he doesn't cheat on you, this thought will torment you. You better off without him.
No, I think if you leave him the panic attacks will subside and you will eventually feel relief because you will have some sense of control over your life, even if it wasn't the situation you really wanted.





I would guess cheating does not make you stop caring for someone. However, you do have to remember what is important to you--those things that are non-negotiable in a relationship. Infidelity shows a huge lack of respect and value for the relationship, and toward you particularly.





I don't think this will heal in time, especially since he didn't come to you and own up, you had to find out on your own.





You deserve to be treated well. I say break this off and move on. There is someone better out there for you.





Good luck! :-)
sometimes men cheat because they dont get what they want in a relationship. one top thing is physicaly love,smooching,kissing etc etc. if you dont give it to him HERE he's gonna look for it somewhere ELSE. not just that but usually argueing leads to that.dont argue for a long time in other words nag, most guys hate that but if ya think he's cheating just keep an eye on him and if he gets protective well ya just say';ya cheated before'; asked why he cheated on you then retaliate