Would somebody help me please??? Disastrous breakup on Christmas day!?

My boyfriend and I had been dating over a year. He was completely amazing--almost perfect. We had a big argument over Thanksgiving, but we got it resolved. I was trying my best to rekindle the relationship after such a heavy blow. He is military, so yes the relationship was long-distance but for a long time we made it work. I tried arguing with him less (I used to bring up petty stuff). Before Thanksgiving, I spent $230 dollars to fly up to see him for one week. I noticed that he was rigid and moody, so I was kept asking him what was wrong. He said he was tired from work etc and the subject would be dropped. I would leave him cute messages every now and again on his phone. The first week (after argument) he was so sweet and amazing. I didn't hear from him at all for two weeks, which was odd. He called me on Christmas day. I was excited to hear from him. It was a rough Christmas for my family because my grandmother passed away on Christmas eve, so I was happy to hear his voice. But the first words out of his mouth were, '; I'm breaking up with you. I'm not happy anymore. Goodbye'; Click. I was devastated. All the candy in my Christmas stocking was all his favorite stuff. I was planning a surprise week-long trip to see him and spend New Years with him--which would have put me out another $400. No arguments--nothing was out of the ordinary. Then I got the news...He had gotten into drugs. He started with pot, I suppose, and then moved his way up to harder substances to get high. He would sell his video games to get money to buy more drugs. He decided the drugs were more important than me, or us. I couldn't make him happy anymore. My brother (his best friend) kicked him out of the house, so that he will have to live on base in the barracks. If he's caught, he will be discharged. I think it is the best thing for him. I honestly do love him and I would never do anything to hurt him. It breaks my heart that he would throw the life he had away for a quick high. I know I should not take it personally because I was doing everything I could, but I can't help but wonder about the ';what ifs'; I'm not vindictive. I only hope that he discovers purpose in his life and one day he realizes how much people care about him. He won't be able to beat this alone, but I am not the right person to help him, so I hope someone will step in and be the friend he needs. After the breakup, several guys asked me out the first week, but I declined all but one. A friend took me out for a casual dinner. It was nice, but I noticed that I was talking about my ex the whole time. He was understanding, but I have no idea what to do. How do I get over this? Again, it's not the breakup itself that neccesarily is upsetting, it's the fact that he threw his whole life away for drugs. It's heartbreaking. How do I cope?


(No he never cheated on me.)Would somebody help me please??? Disastrous breakup on Christmas day!?
Oh honey...the same thing happened to me last Christmas. Christmas Eve my now ex boyfriend started a huge fight for no reason and got violent and yelled..I couldn't understand why...we didn't talk for a week and when we did after New Year's more and more started out, and finally it hit me he had an alcohol problem, and that was more important than me or us. Any substance changes the way a person reacts to things and it changes the way they think.





The first month was very hard. I cried every day. Things started getting easier and easier. I took him off Facebook, started a journal, and started a hobby like working out. I got my feelings out, and I started feeling better about myself and had something to do through working out.





Yes, it is so heartbreaking that someone can throw their life out and ruin a good thing. A year later I've run into to him and heard news through the grapevine: he looks terrible and has been getting into fights and all he does is drink. You are so much better without him because he will only drag you down.





It gets better. I promise it does. I would wake up in the night sobbing, thinking the pain would never go away. But it does, and you'll meet someone who is rational, caring, and loving, and you'll be happy again =]