My husband just left me because he doesn't love me anymore. How can I cope I'm devastated?

He says he needs ';space';. He needs to ';find himself'; he'd rather leave me than cheat on me. He's helping me with everything but he just doesn't want to be with me no more but still wants to have sex with me as ';friends';. What can I do to help myself feel better and strong about this situation, it came as a big surprise.My husband just left me because he doesn't love me anymore. How can I cope I'm devastated?
He may need to find himself. I expect he will have help doing so.


If he does not wish to be with you, that includes sex as well.


If you do continue to have sex with him, that is all it will be. And will certainly NOT help your self esteem right now. In fact it will be a strong detriment! Please concentrate on YOU and your well being.My husband just left me because he doesn't love me anymore. How can I cope I'm devastated?
The same thing is happening to me right now... and i hate it... Everyone is right... no sex... i WAS so amazed... he told me the same, I need space... i need to get to know myself.... i rather break up rather than cheat on you. =\ but hmm, i found out he had someone else at work %26gt;=|.

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Well, if you want to use him for the sex, you need to think twice. Do you know who he is with when he isn't with you. It is too dangerous to play that game this day and age. The majority of women contracting HIV is from their husbands that are sleeping around and the wife not knowing. And as far as him wanting to find himself, thats bull. Your husband wants to play the field, with you on the side. He knows your safe, waiting in the wings until he finds someone else he wants to play house with. Girlfriend lets get real here, no sugar coating. Time to change the locks, mail address, insurance, and whatever you two still have in common. Play that song '; Hit the road Jack ';. Hurts like hell, but the longer you let him play this game the harder it is for you.
Don't let him use you for sex for a start. And don't be friends - in marriage it is all or nothing. Give him nothing. He doesn't want space - he wants you with no strings attached and that is not how marriage works. If he can't commit to you don't let him have anything. He is not helping you with everything - he is destroying your marriage. Tell him to get lost. If you are strong about this and don't let yourself be used you will start to feel better. You can demonstrate to yourself and the world that you are not some poor sorry individual who will settle for what he is offering you (which in effect is nothing!). And tell him you want half of everything you have acquired together.
It sounds like at the moment your husband is calling all the shots - HE decided to leave, HE decided he still wants to have sex, HE decided it's just going to be as friends.





I think you need to take some control of the situation - as much as you miss him, don't let him treat you like that. If he wants you, then tell him that YOU won't still sleep with him, and the only chance of you ever sleeping with him again would be if he changed his ways and YOU decide to take him back.





Other than that, try to keep as occupied as possible. Remove as many traces of him from your immediate sight - there's not point having to be upset whenver you go to the bathroom because his toothbrush is still there etc. Put everything in a box and put it away or give it all to him.





Spend time with people who you know really care about you.





Avoid listening to sad songs, or seeing romantic movies until you're feeling better!





Keep busy!!





Good luck!!!
He won't bother to find himself if you stay available to him. Whatever you do and however hard it is tell him that you see yourself as single now and don't let him feel that you will automatically accept him back. Don't have sex with him under any circumstances, If you stay available you give the message that you are prepared to be his doormat and don't value yourself so why should he value you?





Take acting lessons if necessary but the only hope to get him back if you want him is to hold your head up and believe in yourself and date other guys (or pretend to). Try to be independent and not need his help. If he doesn't come crawling back he simply doesn't love you and being with him can only bring unhappiness. How long have you been married? Do you have kids?
If he thought he was going to need space and need to find himself, he would have never married you in the first place, so i really don't think this was planned. However, i do not think you should have sex with him as ';friends'; while he is doing this, this will just hold him back even longer and what if he decides he doesn't want to come back? you would have wasted some of your life waiting on someone that didn't know what they wanted anyway. You should try to find someone that can make you happy, there's no point in waiting on him to try to find himself, what if he decides later it's still not what he wants? Marriage is not about space or finding yourself, it's about working together in a partnership and giving one another what is needed.
He sounds like he wants to be single again but also be able to get his booty time in with you. In other words, he wants to have his cake and eat it too. I know it's hard and very heartbreaking, but let him go. If he was any type of a man or a husband, he wouldn't be putting you through this. One day it won't hurt as much and you'll look back on this time and be proud that he's out of your life. You deserve better! And don't let him get anything from you as ';friends';. There's nothing friendly about stomping your heart to bits. Personally, if he needed to ';find himself'; then either he should have done it before getting married to you or he should go the the bathroom and search his pants for ';himself';. Good luck and it'll get better...don't worry.
I am sorry. That's a painful blow.


Let him help you if he is moving things out, etc. However, needing space should not include friends with ';benefits.'; If he wants out, then cut that out as well. Otherwise, he is just using you until a new lady enters his life. You have to realize that you need to accept situations that you cannot change. Honestly, would you want to change it knowing that your husband doesn't? Just take is minute by minute as the pain will continue to lessen. You will find that there are oh so many great guys out there. If you go back and allow the sex, you will not feel better about yourself nor will you be strong. He will disrespect you more for that. Good luck.
I'm not quite sure what your husband is thinkin' but I do know the last thing you want to do is continue to have sex with him as ';friends'; - chances are - you'd keep an emotional tie on it while he wouldn't.. You'd only get hurt in the end. If he doesn't want to be with you, he doesn't deserve you.. No part of you.. You never said anything about what lead up to this but it seems to me that he just doesn't deserve you.. I dunno how long you two have been married but take some time for yourself.. Don't start a ';friends-with-benefits'; sexual relationship with him. You'll only be hurt in the end..
RU officially married to call him your husband? If yes , then he cant simply walk out like this, be happy he will stay with you.


If you are not officially married and this is the case , then you need to think about your relation. he might have got some other chick to replace you. Yet there may be some thing due to which he is helping you all the way and inreturn wants to have sexual satisfaction. You should not be surprised , you will find lot of champs in this tech world. People working in BPO's/Techis/far away from home do have this craze of tasteing one after the other/group sex/swapping.


Emotions/love and bondage does not have any value for them.


Good luck
1st DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HIM! (he doesn't want to be with you anymore, why should he have his cake, the pan, the spatula and the bowl? Sounds to me like you need to cut him off.....I suggest that you always have your game face on when you are around him, make him believe you are doing and feeling great about situation. Make him believe you are moving on with your life(it will drive him crazy to think you can go on without him). He will most likely realize he may have made a mistake leaving you.
He don't have the right to do this to you, and you don't deserve this at all, you were married to him, he don't want to be with you anymore but still want to have sex, if you accept this then sorry you are fool, don't give him that chance to play with you, let him go and move on with your life, he is better off without you.
I know the feeling. My ex wife fell out of love with me almost as fast as she fell into love with me. It was actually I who fell into her though, like a hole in the ground, and i see that a yr after our divorce. I'm better off without her, still have to pay for my son though, but mostly rid of her. The guy sounds like a jerk off, get a guy who respects you. Heck, I'd take you out for dinner if you and I knew each other, and if you liked me then we could have desert too. If we really hit it off then breakfast the next mourning wouldn't be out of the question, and pretty soon (walla) were going together, and your x is ancient history. You'll find someone else.
well sweetie to sides of the coin to look at this. you can be friends with benefits and take it as that no more.. or you can be realistic and say well better you know than to go on loving someone who doens't love you back. right!.. besides you can move on with your life. would be terrible for him to tell you after 15 years your not my cu0p of tea and it does happen so be happy you found out sooner than later.. gives you both time to move on.





Now y9ou will have to decide if you want the friends with benefits and no ties. or not. that is your delima now. he's being up front and tellng you how it is. now the balls in your court.
You can help yourself feel stronger about the situation by telling him NO to the sex. Just because he is helping with the bills does not mean he should be in control of the situation. The fact that he still wants to have sex with you shows just what a jerk he is.
Dont go that low by sleepin with him ...He gave u baby bt already he wnts to live u bt come bak for sex then wat explanation wil u give ur child...Wud u say we nt datin anymore bt we having sex? Oviously no! so let hm go co zhe sounds more like a jerk and super player. He disrespectd u bt askin u to have sex with hm while u nt married anymore so dont let hm get away with that.Put hm to hs place just close that door en move on..Believe me u dont need such a Man in ur life..One day u wil look bak and say thanx to God for helpin u livin hm i cn promise u he realy doesnt deserve even ur five minutes of ur tym. Dont u knw it wil hurt u more emotionally if u just stay for sex with him. U wil be fyn just dont let ur weakness make u look lyk sex matchine in front of hm.....Let it go coz this is really a good chance to.Good luck
Well, you need to Find your own space,,and Find yourself,,and LOCK the door on him..Do not have sex with him..that just shows him how weak you are..Lock the door..move..do what you have to do to get your own life..He sounds incredibly selfish...
first of all you gotta show him you don't need him, have sex with him, that's a no no, you gotta be strong, go rent that movie ( how stella got her grove back ) go on a vacation get you a young man to vent with and forget about your hubby
Give him all the space he needs, and MORE.





Disconnect yourself from him totally. You don't need such a loser.





Do not have sex with him as ';friends';. Could spell DISEASE.





He's selfish and you deserve the best!!!!!
IM ACTUALLY THE ONE WHO ASKED THIS QUESTION IT WAS ON MY FRIENDS PROFILE......WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 5 YEARS..IM 25 AND HE IS 26....WE HAVE A 14MONTH OLD BOY....


HE LEFT ME ON THURSDAY AND HE KNEW I STARTED SCHOOL ON TUESDAY...BUT IM FOCUSING ON SCHOOL....