How do you cope with thoughts of cheating?

Okay I feel really, really, really horrible about this. I feel like a terrible person. Its hard talking about it even here.





My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year. For almost the same amount of time I have known a friend (we'll call him John) who definitely liked me as more than a friend. A few months into my relationship with my boyfriend, it became a problem because my bf was jealous. What I never was able to tell my boyfriend was at the back of my mind... I entertained the idea of being with John, too. For some reason, this feeling has never gone away. My boyfriend now thinks that I don't talk to John anymore because during the summer he broke up with me and I called John up hysterically and told him never to talk to me again because I was so upset. However I had to apologize eventually because I felt so guilty (plus I see him every day, he's in my major). My boyfriend doesnt know we are friends again, but at a distance. John thinks my boyfriend is a jerk and I don't blame him, and I know he thinks I'm a jerk in a way too which I don't blame him for either. However there is a feeling I have deep inside of me that is hard to ignore, this feeling that I really want to try to have something more than friendship with John. I LOVE my boyfriend-- he is very special to me and I would die without him. However.... these conflicting feelings I have plus the guilt is becoming overwhelming.





Please give any advice, even if its really short just tell me what you think! Thank you!!How do you cope with thoughts of cheating?
...I don't think you're in love with your boyfriend. Part of being in a loving relationship, is that you both defend it from outside temptation but you are not doing this.





Secondly, you and john are not friends. Friends you don't want to kiss, and friends you don't want to ****. It's naive of you to think that you can trust someone who would do anything to end your relationship just for his chance.


I'm not saying he's the bad guy, but you're not being a friend to him because you're leading him on--he's going to put his life on hold and wait for you to break up...





And he cannot be a good friend when he so avidly wishes doom on something you hold so dear.





So no, you're not friends, you're two people who are attracted and hang out to talk.





You'd be in your best mind in all parts even on yourself to stop talking to him, stop running to him when you and your bf have problems, and stop doing sneaky things behind your bf's back. Otherwise that's not love.





It is commonly said the definition for cheating is if you have to hide it from your significant other then it's cheating. I'm not going to label this as cheating, but I'd say that if your boyfriend had this going on with another girl behind your back you'd be having issues too.





If he means so much to you, then were I in your place I'd try being loyal to him for a change instead of running around backstabbing him.





If that's not a sacrifice you're able to make (Since you obviously would be pissed if the situation was reversed) then your relationship is based on selfishness an wanting your cake. I would say then it is a very immature relationship that is doomed to failure.





...But if it's one or the other is for you to decide through your actions.How do you cope with thoughts of cheating?
To me it seems maybe right now is not the best time for either of you to be in a relationship. You're having two major problems in this one trust on his side, and loyalty on yours. I'm not saying you were wrong for talking to John, but it could be a sign you're not ready to commit 100%. Just my thoughts.
I don't think that either of the guys would agree to have you date both of them, so you have got to make a decision or risk both of them finding out about each other and both of them dumping you.


There's nothing else you can do.
You just have to be mature and avoid John if you want to keep a meaningful relationship with your boyfriend. You can't always have your cake and eat it too- sometimes you have to prune the tree. Sorry for all the cliches, but you get the idea..
You don't love your boyfriend, I don't know what it is but it isn't love.





You probably just want to be single and play the field. Sounds like you already know what you have to do.
You need to make up your mind, on your own, because you're hurting every one in this situation.


Btw, I don't think your boyfriend's being a jerk. I feel bad for him.


This is bullshit and no one should have to deal with that
Simple... never leave the person u love for the person u like because someday the person u like will leave u for the person they love.... look at my question 'is the grass greener on the other side'? Everyone gave me great advice on the same issue ;)
I have friends that are girls and then I have girlfriends I don't go out with people that get jealous if my best friend is a girl.





http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>
my gf and i are in an open relationship


its awesome and we love it
You are just gonna have to put those thoughts away, because if you do end up cheating, you will never live it down, you will carry that guilt around for the rest of the time you are with him. It is really hard to control those types of situations, I know, I've been there, but you have got to control yourself. Go to God, pray about it, it always helped me, because I know it is wrong. Think about it if the situation was turned, how would you feel? Don't let this take over your life, it may be hard, but you have the choice to make the right decision. If you really love him like you say you do, then you will do the right thing.
You NEVA want to be friends with benefits...that would be so stupid but it sounds like you need something else to entertain you other than your boyfriend (if you really love him DONT CHEAT ON HIM) if you see john everyday try talking with him and just kinda flirting but nothing big because someone could tell your bf and that is just a accident waiting to happen... but maybe you and your bf try something new mix it up a bit?? but with John do not do anything major just subtle things. Hop this helps ya!!