Monday, August 9, 2010

How do I deal with my wife having been with other guys when I've only been with one person, Her.?

I've been with my wife for some time now and I just can't seem to get over the fact that she has been intimate with other guys. This bothers me all the time as I have only been intimate with her. I hate knowing and I can't seem to get over it. I often feel and regret not being with anyone else. It is tearing us apart. I'm looking for any good suggestions on how to cope with this. Cheating is not the answer I'm looking for either.How do I deal with my wife having been with other guys when I've only been with one person, Her.?
Try not to concern yourself with the past she is with you now so be happy and enjoy your life with her,the past has nothing to do with the present.How do I deal with my wife having been with other guys when I've only been with one person, Her.?
Give her a break. It was before you and honestly is none of your business.





If she isn't screwing around now, then that is the only thing you need to know.
She picked you out of all the others. So try to feel as special as she thinks you are
you have to deal with it and forget it as the past! so many girls And guys have had relationships with many people trying just to find one good one!(if you have to talk to a doctor that can help get you to talk about how you feel and how to deal with it better)
You knew this before you got married yet waited until after? Your wife is human ok forgive her! As for the whole you regret not doing things...man you are a loser. Did you do this for her or yourself? I was never intimate with anyone else but my husband was and it bothered me in the beginning of our relationship but I am OK with it now and he actually regrets not only having me as his one and only. If you love her it wouldn't matter
People make entirely too much of how and when you lose your virginity and who you've had sex with, as if it's some sort of magical activity that changes who you are for all time.





Sex is just an activity, like skydiving or snorkeling or anything else. You've never done it until you do it, and afterward it doesn't matter where you do it with or with whom. All that matters is whether you do it safely.
Either you realize that the grass isn't greener and keep what you have, or you allow your b.s. EGO to get in the way of something awesome, screw it up and she moves on to someone way better.





Decide now before she tires of this.





Most couples acknowledge that there's been others before them but you let those things go when you become exclusive with your partner, especially in a marriage. Past relationships are over and it becomes moot.
If you knew this going into the relationship, and you fell in love with her and married her anyways, its something you have to get over. Her past was a mistake and had nothing to do with you, and currently has nothing to do with the way she feels about you now. I know it's hard because you want to be her only one as well, and you want to be something new and exciting. Just know you are cause she loves you and married you, and that makes you sex life way better! Trust me. You have nothing to worry about, just tell her how you feel and go from there. Try out your fantasies on her, and tell her to on you. And tell her you want to stuff with her that she's never done before.
well my bf has been with over 20 girls before me and im a virgin... it doesnt really bother me because i know he's changed (everyone judges... please dont)


you just have to live with it. it doesnt mean she loves you any less! you need to suck it up, she's done nothing wrong
You need to snap out of it buddy. Are you serious ... What is going on with you guys ??





I can't believe you're even still with the tramp. If she wants to sleep around you don't need to be with her. I don't care if that is a thing of the past. How could you even make love to her knowing she had been f***ing other men. Have some dignity.
You knew this before marrying so why bring it up now? Insecure? Maybe some counseling for you for that. I think this topic should be off limits, there is not anything good to come of it. Her past is just that.
Did you know before you married her? I assume you did. You cant hold something against her that you knew about before you choose to marry her. Being with other men before you isn't something that she can change. You will have to put it aside and trust her. She loves you, she married you. Try to let it go, if you cant then you many need to seek some help for that as it could ruin your marriage. Good luck!
Why are you so insecure, the past is the past, you should have known this fromt he very beginig.
lol this is wrong of you if you married her you have accepted she had a past a nd it not a competition your showing immaturity in this just love her and let it go or you wreck your marriage as if you think to much on this you will have a affair
I will tell you this, as long as you both are sexually satisfied that is all that matters. If you go a have sex with another women and she is better...you will have a very hard time going back to your wife. Do not risk that...if you are in love with your wife then she is the only women you will ever need. As far a her...she married you so you must of been the best she has ever had.
who cares what she did it was BEFORE she met you. You might need to talk to a counselor or something because you sound like you have some insecurities and what is going to happen with that is this.. step by step... 1) your insecurities are going to turn in to pain, then anger. 2) you are going to be resentful of her and then act like an azzhole around the house 3) that is going to turn into fights over trivial, stupid things. 4) fighting gets old really fast... especially when, from her point of view, she has no idea what your problem is, so she will just think your a jerk and a big baby and leave..... all of that because your displaced insecurities. Instead just check your macho or testosterone persona at the door, get over it.
love, you need to realize that even though she was intimate with other guys before she met you, she chose you in the end. It doesn't matter about the PAST. The majority of the world has dated someone before they marry. It'll be hard to find some woman who hasn't. She's married to YOU now, which means that she loves YOU. If she's cheating on you, it's another matter, but if not, you should let what happened before she met you go and enjoy her now, before she leaves you to your jealousy. You may want to see a therapist and talk to her about this. Remember, people change. Don't let her past ruin your future.
You can't change the past either yours or hers so you will just have to get over the fact that your wife has known other men. Its no big deal that she has, if i were you id forget it and just concentrate on enjoying what you have now.
Surely you must have known this before you got married to her. If so, then it should have been resolved earlier. Whats the point in bringing it up now when she's faithful to you...its like you actually want to break your relationship into little pieces..
Sorry dude. You need to just get over it. It doesn't matter and beating yourself up is preventing you from being the best husband you can be. Either forget it and give you, your marriage and your wife your best or get divorced.
You need to get over it, and if you can't -- like immediately -- then get your bum into a therapist's office.


You have NO BUSINESS beating her up about something that you probably knew about before you got married.
This is all YOUR problem, not hers. What she did before she met you is none of your business. My wife and I have been together for over 10 years and have NEVER had the ';How many people have you been with'; conversation. We agreed from the beginning that was a poisonous conversation with no benefit. If you don't get past your insecurities and stop being an asswhole, you will end up worrying about who she's nailing AFTER you. Go apologize to your wife for being an immature dick and get past this stupid obsession of yours. You are missing out on life.
You knew before you married her that you had never been with other women. If you couldn't live with that then you shouldn't have married her. And unless she hid it from you that she had been intimate with other men, you knew that going into the marriage as well.





You love her so stop dwelling on the past. You can't change any of it so quit obsessing over it.
I will never know why our past relationships are ever a topic of discussion with our spouse or partner.





The past is gone, and i never have discussed the intimate details of past relationships with anyone i've ever dated or been serious with. I can't see what good it does, or how it could be anyone else's business.





Some things need to be private.





I suppose you're going to have to start living in the NOW instead of your wife's past.
Well getting married was kind of a bad thing to do....





You shouldn't regret not being with anyone else. That makes you a GREAT person. And the fact that no one can take that away from you should empower you. Don't move backwards from this. Only move forward.





Just think about it. What happens if you had sex with a few more people. Does that mean you guys could love each other more?





She chose to Marry you not any of those other fools. You should be happy that you got girl in the end. Sure she has a past everyone does but those guys don't get to be with her like you do. They don't get to wake up next to her like you do. They don't get to love her like you do. They don't get to have love form her either. She loves you and wants to be with you. Not them.





Also think of things this way. Her past has to be her past. The more you let the past be involved with the present the more those past guys are going to be involved with your relationship. You are in control of your relationship. You are the make or break. They are only a problem if you chose to let them be a problem. You don't need to have that kind of stress. Don't carry her baggage. You NEED to talk to her about this. Tell her exactly how you feel and come to some common understanding. The most you guys can do now is understand each other and show love for each other.





Motivation will see you through this. Keep at it and you guys Will get through it.
If you stay with someone like that and like it,then you deserve everything she puts on you if she is still being untruthful to you.If you stay with her,then you must forget about the past and move on providing she doesn't continue down the same path.You either trust someone or you don't and if there is no trust there,it will never work and you're just throwing your life away.There is plenty of fish in the sea and God has better plans for you in the future.
I had an ex who was kinda the same way, slept with allot more people than i did, but there is really nothing you can do. Cheating is NOT the answer, neither is a divorce. She didn't do anything to hurt you before she met you. Maybe you are jealous and you don't realize it. i would say you need counseling because she did nothing wrong, and neither did you...the blunt answer is you will just have to get over it, and counseling might help.





Has she said you are terrible, have she said shes had better? I mean you must be doing just fine, she married YOU. Think of it that way. And DO NOT ask her about those occasions that you have such a problem with, it will feed your curiosity only for a minute and then you will start hating her if she does tell you, which i hope she wouldn't.





You can not change the past, if you could so many things would be different. And how do you know she just wouldn't wait for you if she could predict the future. but again, she cant change it. she cant predict it, and she did nothing to you.





Just rest assured that she married you...you are her husband and she loves you. don't punish her for things that have nothing to do with you or she cant change.





GB and good luck
pull your head out of your butt. the past is the past. you can't change it. quit being so insecure. Not her fault your were a prude or she was a ho. Just depends on how ya look at it.
Get counseling.
You need to get some counseling to get over your insecurities. She married you didn't she? I've been with more than 1 man and I can tell you, once they're out of the picture, they're out of my mind. I know what a catch I married because I had those experiences!

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