I don't get it, why is he still here?

Ok, my hubby and i have been 2gether almost 7 years and have had our ups and downs. i cheated on him a while back and we tried to make things work. in december we decided 2 try for a child and became pregnant in july of this year. he now decided he can't cope with me cheating and has fallen in love with an older woman (who knows he's married and has a child on the way). i understand his leaving, what i don't understand is y he refuses to get his stuff out of our house and give me back the house keys? he doesn't live at home anymore (he was gone for 2 weeks, came back for a little bit and just left again on thursday) and hasn't helped pay any bills in over a month. he tells me how he would have a party if i got into a car wreck and me and his unborn child died - who would say something like that? i take the blame for what i did, but y won't he just go if that's what he wants?I don't get it, why is he still here?
Change the locks. He doesn't live there anymore and if he wants his stuff, arrange for a day when he can come and pick it up. (Make sure you're not alone when he does for safety and support). By not paying any of the bills and leaving, he's already sent you a clear message.





It's your turn to move forward with your life. I don't get it, why is he still here?
If you don't want to deal with him, then I agree with changing the locks to your home. He has no right to come/go as he pleases...he's just using you. After you have changed the locks, then you need to verbally and in writing, tell him that you're giving him 1 or 2 months to claim his items out of the house, after wards, you will be disposing of them. That way, you protect yourself... keep a record of everything !!!
Oh my - I am guessing that financially you both cant afford to live two seperate lives? Maybe he is staying home as he can not afford his own place to move his stuff into and he is probably shacking up with the older women a few nights a wk.





Get a lawyer, get a divorce and make this legit.
Do it all legally, get him on tape saying things about you and the baby coming to harm, don't have anything to do with him, this time is about you and your child. As awful as it is, you know what they say, karma comes around 10 fold.
Change the locks and leave his stuff outside on the curb. If he doesn't pick it up the trash men will. Changing locks is very simple, you can do it yourself in about 10 minutes and will cost you about $15.00 per lock.
Not sure why he's still there but if the house is not under his name, change the locks and leave it at that. File for divorce. Throw his stuff out in the yard because a person like that does not deserve your respect.
Throw every belonging he has out the window. Or to the dump. Change the locks, so he cant get in. Dont be scared, if he ever talks to you like that again, tell somebody.
Personally, if he said that to me I'd burn all his stuff.


Seriously, do it, the **** deserves to be taught a lesson.
Change the locks...and tell him to get his stuff out or you will dump them...


keep a strong close friend or a family member with you for support.
thats your karma bec you cheated on him.
Peopel clearly did not understand what I was trying to say, therefore, I am removing my post.
He is a piece of S*it for even saying that about the car wreck. It's bad enough to say about you, but his unborn child as well. if he didn't want to make things work, he shouldn't of tried to have another child with you. Why do you keep letting him come back while he's with another woman? I would pack all his stuff and put it by the door for the next time he shows up and change all the locks on the doors in your house. When he comes tell him you want a divorce, to take his stuff and that your not putting up with this anymore.
Why is he still there? Because you allow him to be.


Don't want it? Tell him all his stuff will be moved to a storage unit, and you will pay for one month, then he has to pick it up in that time or pay for more, or they will sell it for non-payment of the rental. That way he can't say you didn't take care of his things. Oh, and have the locks changed before then.


The fact that he's with another woman, refuses to help with any bills, and has told you he wishes you and the baby were dead, means that he's gone, moved on. Chances are he likes the fact that it annoys you that he hasn't shifted all his things. Its like him saying its still my place and you don't have any say.


It could be that he still wants a foot in each camp, in case the new relationship doesn't work out. Not good enough if you ask me.


It could be he's just too lazy to finalize things.


So its up to you. Make a move. Do what you need to do to move on from here. After all he already has.