He has been leaving the house to go to his friends house to party and won't call or come home until the next afternoon.
I'm not stupid...I know he's cheating...it's obvious.
As heartbreaking as this is...Its killing me because of the baby. I would do anything, I would even accept the cheating if I knew he was remotely interested in our baby.
I just can't understand why I have been so rejected since I became pregnant....especially since HE was the one that wanted kids...I didn't...I did this for him...
How do I cope? Is there something that makes this easier?
Leaving is not the most desirable option right now due to finances....I want our child to have a dad. He won't go for counselling...too expensive he says...
Any advice about what to do?How do I cope with my cheating hubby?
People who cheat act angry in order to justify their cheating in their own minds. So, if all you want is for him to be nice to you for your baby's sake, tell him that you know about his cheating, and that he has your permission. Give him a hug, tell him you forgive him, that you love him, and that he is free to have sex with other women as much as he wants. Doing so will clear up the guilt and take away the conflict between you, and you will quickly start seeing a much happier, less resentful husband.
PS - Personally, this solution makes me sick, but based on all the restrictions you gave me in your details, it's just about all you're left with.How do I cope with my cheating hubby?
The best thing that you could do is leave him. He's not going to change. He can still be a part of your child's life. You want to start feeling better about yourself and know that no one should accept a cheating spouse. You and your baby deserve better. There's alot of help out there that you can get for housing, food, etc. Good luck.
That's why you should get married first before having children because it's a commitment. That being said, just leave. He no longer loves nor wants you and you are allowing yourself to be used as a doormat. Get a little respect and self worth and leave.
Your belief that you have to stay and ';cope'; = permission for him to keep shitting on you .
He *HAD* to be this way when you spread your legs for him and let him knock you up - damn girl you have very bad taste in men.
Sounds awful. The sad truth is the guy is not ready for being a father. You should ';take a break'; to see if he cleans up his act. Move somewhere else momentarily. At least during the pregnancy and then make a choice.
If your not going to leave him. tell him that you can have a threesome after you have the baby. at least he will keep everything in your face!! But you really need to leave him ASAP!!!!
tell him how you feel- and if he doesnt try counseling your leaving and he wont be able to see his child grow up
PLEASE HELP ME :)
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?鈥?/a>
The best thing you can do is get out now. sorry
I thought common law was 7 years?? Get out now, it's not fair for you %26amp; your child dealing with his cheating ways.
u also go to parties (friends home) when he is at home..
show that u r ignoring him ..dont talk to him..do what all he did to u ..he might realise and know ur value
if it is not working out then u cannot do anything
You leave him.
Leave his a$$ !! That's how you cope..
You absolutely leave him go move in with your parents or a friend or something but get the **** away from him! Trust me that kid will be better off if he/she doesn't know their ';father';. And you need to stop letting a man run YOUR life he is an *** and he doesn't deserve you. People don't realize that raising a child in that kind of broken home is WAY worse than being raised by a single parent. So (and I can't stress this enough) GET AWAY FROM THIS JACKASS as far and as fast as you can.
I've been there darlin'. What I say next may seem cruel but you have to understand I'm only telling you the truth to help you. Your life cant be about coping with him or holding together whats left of a relationship and saying you'd accept anything for him to have an interest in your child. He may not be ready or feel overwhelmed or just be immature but you have to be the adult for your child. He isnt married to you and babies dont solve relationship problems. If he builds a relationship with your child it has to be up to him. A child can live in the same home with a dad that ';parties'; and doesnt stay home which will either teach the child the same behavior or the child will take a cue from mom who looks the other way, and baby will learn to be a doormat and have the same type of unhappy relationships. Make some plans for yourself and your child. You only have a few more months until your baby is born which is actually good. You can schedule your steps. You know after the baby is born you'll need to be home for a while before the baby can go to daycare unless you have reliable family to help you. What will you do for money to feed clothe and diaper baby if he leaves? You must get some sort of job to bring in your own money. Independence can quickly make a man see what he's missing and if not-who's going to be better off with your new found independence? You and baby!!! Win Win!!!! Fix yourself up nice which will make you feel better and help you land that job. Inlist family or friends to help and be honest with them about what you need and have. And honey dont let small things stop you because the baby is depending on you to be the strong mama you are. No ride? Strap baby in a stroller and stroll into the unemployment office and get that job. I know you can because I was the dummy that stayed, wasnt married, and ended up pregnant a second time and walked out with a baby on the hip and one in the oven. I faught until I graduated from college and made a life for myself and my babies. I had no car no money and 2 kids. You'll only have one if your smarter than I was which will make things a thousand times easier.
Hunny, listen...You have to love yourself first. you have to set a good example for your child. If your child knew how you were being treated, then he/she will grow up thinking that this is acceptable, it is NOT. no way. Please leave him. money is not the most important thing, you will get child support, and he damn sure deserves and owes you that much. go stay with a close friend or family member, someone that will help you get thru this. its already hard when you are pregnant and emotional, he is making your life miserable without a thought of how you feel. staying with someone like this is detrimental to your mental well being, and everything you feel, the baby feels. do you want this for your child.
please leave him! there is pleanty of assistance for single moms out there, trust me, i am one. If you need to talk further and in private, you can email me. ok. hang in there, take care of YOU.
I know you said that you cannot afford to leave but sometimes we need to
bite our pride and do so. Maybe moving in with relatives til you are able to
get better money would help. You are in your finally months of pregnancy,
and do not need the stress.
This guy does not seem to be ready to settle down. Move out from him and
get child support once the baby comes.
I know you love this guy and all but you are about to have a child. Do it for your
child not you, and stress is not helping the baby at all.
What will happened once you have the baby he is going to get even worse and
believe me you do not want your child to see all of this. its all up to you.
Well you obviously not very smart a common law marriage means youve been living under the same roof for 7 plus years duh. And dumb for staying with a man who treats you anything less than a priencess. You should give the child up for adoption so it doesnt have a crappy life like you then leave your boyfriend and dont get pregnant agian until you find a man that thinks you are the world and he could never due better
I know it's not ideal, but leave him. He's disrespectful and unfaithful. He's not willing to change his behavior. He's not willing to try counseling. He's not willing to put forth any effort into making it better. Which in a nutshell means, he cares more about himself than he cares about you and your unborn child.
You deserve better. It wont be easy, but you're better off on your own for now, until you find a partner who can act like a grown man that will be there for you like this guy obviously isn't.
You're trying to force him into being a decent caring father to be and it won't happen, you need to get as far away from him as possible and you can go to a friend or family member until you have the baby then you need to get a job and start supporting yourself and your child. This man is not only a cheater he is controlling, negative and has no capacity to love, very bad for you and worse for your baby, get out of there for your sake and your baby's.
There are churches that offer counseling free of charge in most cases, try that. Also, you have to know that this is NOT your fault. A baby nor money is not a reason to stay with a man who is cheating (could bring you a disease) or disrespectful toward you. Where is your self-respect and dignity. There is too much help out there for women in your position. If you don't have family that you can go to, go to a shelter, there very up to date most of them. They will provide you a place to stay, food, job training, baby sitting when you find work and eventually help you get your own place. He thinks just like you that you have to stay there because you ';need'; him. Think like a mother, your going to be one shortly, your baby is your number one priority! Do you really want your baby around all that disrespect and non love...i sure wouldn't.
Wow, what a selfish jerk. You're holding him back? You're the one who's social life is going to be limited and you're the one who is making all the sacrifices. If he isn't willing to work it out, I would leave.
Do you want to keep the child? If you're still not sure have you considered adoption? But if you do want to keep the baby than you both deserve a devoted man in your lives. Many single moms find good guys that are ten times the man the baby's father is.
Wow. I'm sorry you're going thru this. I think you have to put your foot down. Either you divorce him %26amp; ask him to move out ASAP or you tell him that he must end things with this woman and get into couple's counseling or your filing. I appreciate why you want to stay together for this child but raising them in a miserable home environment is not good for them either. It also sucks that he wanted this child %26amp; then is acting like this but unchecked this isn't going to get any better. Confront the situation and then him. Good luck %26amp; God bless.
Edit: Happy gives good advice but can you follow it? Is that really practical?
He's not going to be a ';dad'; to your child even if you stay with him, so why stay? If he thinks you're holding him back, he will think the same about the baby. He will avoid the baby just like he is avoiding you, and later on he will say hurtful things to the baby just like he is doing to you now. Do you really want your child growing up with this guy as an example of what a father, as man, is supposed to be?
In my opinion, having an absent father is better than what you would be sticking your baby with if you stay with this angry, selfish, immature BOY, and your child would be hurt less in the long run without him around. You will be a better mother if you are not always unhappy and stressed out. You need to get a little self respect, and stop being such a doormat.
For your child's sake, as well as your own, I hope you do the right thing.
No comments:
Post a Comment