I am bi and discovered that while I was in a relationship with my current b/f.Im positive Im going to be with this guy for a WHILE if not forever but Im alittle disapointed that Ill pretty much never get to see what a relationship is like with another girl (and/or pursue n e thing with one). I would never cheat on my bf like that. Basically, I need advice on how to cope with this...maybe alittle advice to make me feel better about it. Remember, I do know that I am going to be with him for an EXTREMELY long time.How to cope?
stop letting the evil curiosities of your mind mess up something good with your man. no, you do not need to know what life is life with a woman, be hetero like god intended and do not feed into evil.How to cope?
Wow, I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I do not doubt at all that you're bi, but do you think your panic about it might indicate a fear of commitment to this relationship? First, realize that if this man is really all you want and need at this point, it doesn't matter that you may never be with a woman. If this doesn't console you, I would just honestly talk to my boyfriend about it. As another girl said, he loves you, he cares about you, it's important for a good relationship to communicate about everything. Maybe you need a little time on your own (I don't mean you need to break it off, just take a break) to explore before you make a huge commitment? Just talk to him about it. I wish you the very best and I wish I had an easy solution.
It is important to understand that having an OPEN (non monogamous) relationship with your boyfriend, does not mean you are cheating. If you talk to him about your desires to possibly explore a relationship with a woman and maintain a relationship with him, there is no cheating, it is just consenting adults. It is called polyamory and there is nothing wrong with it, as long as you are honest with all parties involved.
this is actually something that EVERYONE in a relationship is going to have to deal with at sometime or another-irregardless of sexual orientation. the whole situation of being with one person, and yet seeing someone else that you want and are tempted to be with is universal.
since you care for this guy, then be with him. understand who he is, and what he means to you. ask him to understand you and what you're feeling. he may be cool with it, he might not be cool with it. you got to make sure that he knows that you're quite happy with him, got to make sure he's confident in the bonds you have together.
he may ask you to do a 3 way with him and another girl, and here's where it gets tricky because if you're still a novice to your bisexuality, you'll end up more confused than anything else. a 3 way is an easy way to introduce him to your bisexuality, but you have to be a strong person in a strong relationship in order to do one. many relationships have ended due to a 3 way, because feelings can get hurt easily, and if someone is jealous-it's a sure relationship killer.
good luck to you, and i hope i've been a help.
Is that what being Bi is?
I went through a patch of being with one and wanting the other...then I realised I was just being plain selfish - what I wanted was more important than the person I was with.
I know that there's curiosity and questions - especially if you've never had the experience. Just because you can fancy people of either sex though, shouldn't mean that you can't devote yourself to one person in a loving relationship.
A straight couple have to work at theirs, even though there is lots of temptation to stray - the only difference for Bi's is that they have a marginally larger group from which to be tempted.
Down the line when you and your boyfriend (husband) are settled with each other - there may be an opportunity for you to get what you'd like and for him to watch or participate. That is something the pair of you would need to discuss and you'd BOTH have to be extremely comfortable with the idea of bringing a third person into your bedroom.
Otherwise, I'd say get over it and concentrate your efforts on the one you love.
Best Wishes
well i think u should just tell him about it. if u r going to be together for such a long time as u say u r this must mean he loves u right? if he does he'll understand and know just what to say because he loves u. im sure he'll think about what would make him happy, make you happy and solve ur problem as well..
Be honest with him about how you feel.....perhaps even let him read your question on here and the answers to it. Never allow yourself to be in any relationship in which you can't be who you are. It is difficult enough to maintain a good relationship being yourself and almost impossible to maintain if the honesty isn't there.
Not knowing your partner it is difficult to predict his reaction to this revelation but I will say this about most men.......
We, if approached properly, really have no problems with having a bi partner. If the relationship you seek is with another bi female, we usually have no problems with that because we do not feel threatened by them to any great degree.
If, however, your desire is to have a relationship with a strictly gay female we pretty much would view them as a threat to losing you, just as we would another man. I personally have no objection to being with a bi female and enjoy doing so. It opens windows to our relationship that would otherwise be closed to me, whether as a spectator, or as a participant.
tell him the truth, if he loves you, he'll understand and should be there to help you cope with it.
who are you trying to kid? Us or yourself? Your not ready to be in a committed relationship. End it before you hurt him.
I'm Bi and i'm worried what dad might say
I'd say tell him, and maybe you two could explore that together a little. I'm not talking polyamory (unless that's your thing), but you sound pretty happy with a committed monogamous relationship. I just mean like...go to the mall and check out girls together or something. The other side is, if you found the one person you want to be with (which, in all fairness, is presumptuous of me), it shouldn't matter too much, right? Like, you don't have to keep closeted, but you can just say ';yep, that's there, and I don't really need it anymore';.
I am in the same boat! I am already married. I have been for 5 years to a man. I love women and like being with them more sexually. How I have dealt with this is I do go on adventures with other women. Don't get me wrong I do love my husband, but I have to fulfill my needs to. I stay in the closet about the whole thing. I have just learned to separate the two. I look at being with a woman not cheating, just being a girl!
Friday, August 20, 2010
How do I cope with a mother like this?
My mother has been cheating on my father for years now. With different man. But since she met this guy she seeing now, it been only him. He shouts at my father, demands money from me and my dad to support her boyfriend. He even brings him over at my dads house, on my dad's absence. I know about this, and I've known it since it started. Even my aunts, my dad's sisters knows about my mum and her cheating. The thing is they all scared of her.
My father is sick of stress, he knows that my mom is cheating but he doesn't know with whom. Cause he caught her a lot of times before. I'm so hurting cause I hate seeing my father drowning like this. all he does is drink, coz my mother hardly sleeps at home, when she's there she sleeps with my sister.
Even my brother knows, the only person she respects is my married sister. I don't know what to do cause everyone is scared of confronting her. I want to tell her to leave us so that she cuk be wth the man she love, but m scared of her.How do I cope with a mother like this?
wow your mom is a bit*h just tell her how you feel............................How do I cope with a mother like this?
The best way for this to happen is for the family to come together and let your mother know that they know she's unhappy with her marriage with your father. Let her know that everybody will be happy if she just divorced your father and be with the man she's happiest with.
Her chronic cheating and her disrespect for her marriage to your father should indicate that divorce is the solution.
If group confrontation doesn't work, confide in your married sister and let her communicate these sentiments to your mother.
get a hidden camera show to bust her, and broadcast it on MTV.
or your whole family can confront her about it, and if she touches anybody then you press charges on her cheating bit*** as*
Listen she is your mother and you have the right to stand up to her. I have always been the only one who could stand up to my mother and tell her exactly what I think of her. Don't be afraid she needs to hear that she is ruining ya'll and that she just needs to leave so that everyone will be happy. She should find a boyfriend that can support her and quit using your dad for financial stability.. Do whats right for your family don't be scared. Shes worthless in my book. She may always be your mother but, if she doesn't respect you all enough to contain herself then why contain your self??? Let her have it!!
Don't be scared, what the worst she could do? Tell her that its obvious shes not in love with your father anymore and that its better to just end the marriage and then you can be free to see whoever you want without sending your father further down the drain.
Tell her the whole family knows and that neither you or anyone else has respect for her so what does she have to wait around for? How dare she ask for money to support her adulterous lifestyle, tell her that she had the affairs so its her problem to deal with!
When you say 'over to my dads house' i take it your mother and father live in seperate houses? If so, change the locks so she cant bring him round, let her know shes not wanted, get your brother and your famil to back you up, all of you need to target her on her own so the boyfriend is not there.
Maybe your dad should also file for divoce to also make it clear where his heart lies. Its no good carrying it on, you should let your father be at rest and free to start a new life and encourage him to meet someone nice when hes settled. Also find help to stop his drinking.blond hair celebrity hair
My father is sick of stress, he knows that my mom is cheating but he doesn't know with whom. Cause he caught her a lot of times before. I'm so hurting cause I hate seeing my father drowning like this. all he does is drink, coz my mother hardly sleeps at home, when she's there she sleeps with my sister.
Even my brother knows, the only person she respects is my married sister. I don't know what to do cause everyone is scared of confronting her. I want to tell her to leave us so that she cuk be wth the man she love, but m scared of her.How do I cope with a mother like this?
wow your mom is a bit*h just tell her how you feel............................How do I cope with a mother like this?
The best way for this to happen is for the family to come together and let your mother know that they know she's unhappy with her marriage with your father. Let her know that everybody will be happy if she just divorced your father and be with the man she's happiest with.
Her chronic cheating and her disrespect for her marriage to your father should indicate that divorce is the solution.
If group confrontation doesn't work, confide in your married sister and let her communicate these sentiments to your mother.
get a hidden camera show to bust her, and broadcast it on MTV.
or your whole family can confront her about it, and if she touches anybody then you press charges on her cheating bit*** as*
Listen she is your mother and you have the right to stand up to her. I have always been the only one who could stand up to my mother and tell her exactly what I think of her. Don't be afraid she needs to hear that she is ruining ya'll and that she just needs to leave so that everyone will be happy. She should find a boyfriend that can support her and quit using your dad for financial stability.. Do whats right for your family don't be scared. Shes worthless in my book. She may always be your mother but, if she doesn't respect you all enough to contain herself then why contain your self??? Let her have it!!
Don't be scared, what the worst she could do? Tell her that its obvious shes not in love with your father anymore and that its better to just end the marriage and then you can be free to see whoever you want without sending your father further down the drain.
Tell her the whole family knows and that neither you or anyone else has respect for her so what does she have to wait around for? How dare she ask for money to support her adulterous lifestyle, tell her that she had the affairs so its her problem to deal with!
When you say 'over to my dads house' i take it your mother and father live in seperate houses? If so, change the locks so she cant bring him round, let her know shes not wanted, get your brother and your famil to back you up, all of you need to target her on her own so the boyfriend is not there.
Maybe your dad should also file for divoce to also make it clear where his heart lies. Its no good carrying it on, you should let your father be at rest and free to start a new life and encourage him to meet someone nice when hes settled. Also find help to stop his drinking.
How do I cope w. a situation where I still love my girl so much who cheated but I don't want her anymore?
I am sort of caught between the devil and deep blue sea because here I am still so in love with my girlfriend of about 4 years but had cheated on me yet I do not want to be a part of her anymore. I just want to move on. How do I cope with this inner struggle without having to have any kind of new relationship with anyone yet? Matter of fact, I now prefer to be alone but the loneliness is so immense yet I am loathed to get back to my her.How do I cope w. a situation where I still love my girl so much who cheated but I don't want her anymore?
Yes, it is best to be alone for 6 months exept to go to support groups and activities without the idea of getting into a relationship...
I let go of my ex wife after 19 years once I discovered she was sleeping around. There was no compromise in this for MANY reasons,m including STDs, AIDS, etc..and I've never regretted it one bit.
--------------------------------
I am sorry you are apparently suffering Letting go is so hard.
I can honestly say that many partners are crumbs. They play games like crazy, lie, cheat, two-time, don鈥檛 keep their word, See others on the side, etc. Some never change. As they mature, some finally realize people are dying in their families, their relationships haven't worked, they get sick of the bars, and the people they used to pick up think they are A. holes.
Some even make amends to those they had hurt, or else, do some kind of service to feel that they are not just takers. Many then start to consider marriage, if for no other reason than they see themselves developing gray and wrinkles, getting fired, feeling unsatisfied at work, etc.
Here's the thing: too soon. People are often selfish, arrogant, and delusional....both sexes, unfortunately.
To be brief, you MUST develop yourself to the fullest, define what makes you tick and passionate, and you must become extremely successful in your career. It is only when your career is in full swing and you are really making a greater success of yourself that the right people show up. Bars bring on alcoholic irresponsible jerks. Clubs too. A great dancer and the right lines do not mean love and successful marriages. Do not mix up great sex with love either. They are two distinct and separate entities. Sex is to reproduce the species only. It is not love. Love is something else. Sex can improve with real love and intimacy. If you are in lust, it is not love. If someone is bad to you, you do not want sex with them unless you are delusional and are using them too, or if you mistakenly think that a great orgasm will make them stay or change. If you find yourself thinking about a particular partner 100 percent of the time or close to it, hthey aren't good for you. You will lose yourself. If you are a giver you lust, then learn to be less available and more equality demanding. You have the right to be treated well and decently. That does not mean lavishly. It means honestly with respect. And it goes both ways.
If you are the type who takes crap from a partner, stop taking crap early on, and you will avoid lots of pain.
I think your choices are not good, that's all.
Do you go for glitz and the great dressers? Stop. Are you a caretaker type who rescues? Stop that now. If you are a perfectionist who emotionally picks on a partner, stop it now. If you always criticize a partner for small things and they leave you, stop it now. I know no specifics about your situation, but do know it takes two to tango.
Forget the multitude of books. They will mostly confuse you except the short Robert Johnson trio of books: He...She...and We. They are short!.
I have learned about boundaries. I have the feeling you know nothing about them. This is great to learn. There is a great book on the subject called Boundaries. It is a thick non-religious book on the subject, a soft cover, Ph DO written. Don't Say Yes When You Want to Say No is another great book.
I personally have done numerous workshops, read lots of self help books, been in therapy, etc. I have done The Forum, a great three day expericne offered by Landmark Education Corp. I think therapy was the biggest waste of time. Reading great books is therapy, because we learn about our own weaknesses and learn self improvement. I have learned it is not what we do but rather, who we do it with. Stay away from destructive people, and that might sometimes mean family
You must eventually find an evolved partner, one who can set boundaries with family members and even can speak honestly of shortcomings and working on them. Also remember: Never believe what people say: Only judge people on their actions and deeds. If a partner says they loves you and cheats, they do not love you. If a partner never says they loves you but treats you well, they loves you. It is all about actions. YOU want a partner who can walk equally with you, one who asks for advice, one who doesn't bottle up anger, and that goes both ways. Also, if you are selfish, cut that out. Make something of yourself to get your own cash.
Also remember: no one is perfect.
Best of luck!
Have a fast connection and want more features? Try the full version to How do I cope w. a situation where I still love my girl so much who cheated but I don't want her anymore?
I know it is hard to get past a cheating situation. Try to be alone rather than getting back together because you cant handle it. This is a good time to get to know yourself. Hang out with friends, join a church group, or some activity group. Just remember that once a cheater, always a cheater. When you feel yourself wanting to go back, picture her cheating on you, that should turn you away. Good luck and remember, there is that one out there for you somewhere, you just need to hand in there.
Several things. You can get an hour of counseling to work this out... bottom line here sweetie, is you don't love her... you love what you THOUGHT she was and what your IMAGE of her was, and how YOU percieved her... and guess what? They aren't the same person.
And try the internet for appropriate people... Yahoo Personals, Match.com, e-Harmony. Let the computer do some of the tuff stuff.
Maybe some time apart for a few months will heal some wounds.
It will help you think about what you are able and unable to do.
Perhaps you will find that you can mend it, and then again maybe not, that's what time apart does, it allows you to put your feet on the ground emotionally and figure out what you really want.
Best Wishes.
FOUR years, of course you love her!!!
But you obviously aren't in love wit her after what she did to you.
Just cutting all ties would be best!! It's going to be lonely, but you will get used to it.
Sorry for your loss, four years is a long long time.
Try a new hobby. Go out and hang out with the boys. Being active will get your mind off of her and the hurt you feel. Being lonely and thinking about the situation won't help you move on.
If you get back with her, can you just forgive her and move on? If not, a relationship full of resentment and bringing up the past will not last.
first stop talking to her.
then try to stop thinking about her
and then block out all of your memories with her
and move on
It sounds like you know what you have to do, but I've been there and the loneliness does stink. Get with some friends, or give one a call. Be strong, If she's done it once; she'll probably do it again. Don't jump into a false feeling relationship, because then you'll hurt that person and you don't want to do that. Unfortunately it's gonna be lonely but that's how your heart mends and makes you stronger, my opinion. It will get better, just make sure you keep your friends close and get out of the house, go for a walk, do something for yourself, get a dog, or cat, or some kind of pet, if you can. If I didn't have my baby girl; I don't know how I could have got through it on my own. I hope this helps, I wish you all the luck. Stay strong, you don't deserve to be cheating on and there's so many good girls out there but it's not far to you or her if you jump into a relationship if your not ready.
Yes, it is best to be alone for 6 months exept to go to support groups and activities without the idea of getting into a relationship...
I let go of my ex wife after 19 years once I discovered she was sleeping around. There was no compromise in this for MANY reasons,m including STDs, AIDS, etc..and I've never regretted it one bit.
--------------------------------
I am sorry you are apparently suffering Letting go is so hard.
I can honestly say that many partners are crumbs. They play games like crazy, lie, cheat, two-time, don鈥檛 keep their word, See others on the side, etc. Some never change. As they mature, some finally realize people are dying in their families, their relationships haven't worked, they get sick of the bars, and the people they used to pick up think they are A. holes.
Some even make amends to those they had hurt, or else, do some kind of service to feel that they are not just takers. Many then start to consider marriage, if for no other reason than they see themselves developing gray and wrinkles, getting fired, feeling unsatisfied at work, etc.
Here's the thing: too soon. People are often selfish, arrogant, and delusional....both sexes, unfortunately.
To be brief, you MUST develop yourself to the fullest, define what makes you tick and passionate, and you must become extremely successful in your career. It is only when your career is in full swing and you are really making a greater success of yourself that the right people show up. Bars bring on alcoholic irresponsible jerks. Clubs too. A great dancer and the right lines do not mean love and successful marriages. Do not mix up great sex with love either. They are two distinct and separate entities. Sex is to reproduce the species only. It is not love. Love is something else. Sex can improve with real love and intimacy. If you are in lust, it is not love. If someone is bad to you, you do not want sex with them unless you are delusional and are using them too, or if you mistakenly think that a great orgasm will make them stay or change. If you find yourself thinking about a particular partner 100 percent of the time or close to it, hthey aren't good for you. You will lose yourself. If you are a giver you lust, then learn to be less available and more equality demanding. You have the right to be treated well and decently. That does not mean lavishly. It means honestly with respect. And it goes both ways.
If you are the type who takes crap from a partner, stop taking crap early on, and you will avoid lots of pain.
I think your choices are not good, that's all.
Do you go for glitz and the great dressers? Stop. Are you a caretaker type who rescues? Stop that now. If you are a perfectionist who emotionally picks on a partner, stop it now. If you always criticize a partner for small things and they leave you, stop it now. I know no specifics about your situation, but do know it takes two to tango.
Forget the multitude of books. They will mostly confuse you except the short Robert Johnson trio of books: He...She...and We. They are short!.
I have learned about boundaries. I have the feeling you know nothing about them. This is great to learn. There is a great book on the subject called Boundaries. It is a thick non-religious book on the subject, a soft cover, Ph DO written. Don't Say Yes When You Want to Say No is another great book.
I personally have done numerous workshops, read lots of self help books, been in therapy, etc. I have done The Forum, a great three day expericne offered by Landmark Education Corp. I think therapy was the biggest waste of time. Reading great books is therapy, because we learn about our own weaknesses and learn self improvement. I have learned it is not what we do but rather, who we do it with. Stay away from destructive people, and that might sometimes mean family
You must eventually find an evolved partner, one who can set boundaries with family members and even can speak honestly of shortcomings and working on them. Also remember: Never believe what people say: Only judge people on their actions and deeds. If a partner says they loves you and cheats, they do not love you. If a partner never says they loves you but treats you well, they loves you. It is all about actions. YOU want a partner who can walk equally with you, one who asks for advice, one who doesn't bottle up anger, and that goes both ways. Also, if you are selfish, cut that out. Make something of yourself to get your own cash.
Also remember: no one is perfect.
Best of luck!
Have a fast connection and want more features? Try the full version to How do I cope w. a situation where I still love my girl so much who cheated but I don't want her anymore?
I know it is hard to get past a cheating situation. Try to be alone rather than getting back together because you cant handle it. This is a good time to get to know yourself. Hang out with friends, join a church group, or some activity group. Just remember that once a cheater, always a cheater. When you feel yourself wanting to go back, picture her cheating on you, that should turn you away. Good luck and remember, there is that one out there for you somewhere, you just need to hand in there.
Several things. You can get an hour of counseling to work this out... bottom line here sweetie, is you don't love her... you love what you THOUGHT she was and what your IMAGE of her was, and how YOU percieved her... and guess what? They aren't the same person.
And try the internet for appropriate people... Yahoo Personals, Match.com, e-Harmony. Let the computer do some of the tuff stuff.
Maybe some time apart for a few months will heal some wounds.
It will help you think about what you are able and unable to do.
Perhaps you will find that you can mend it, and then again maybe not, that's what time apart does, it allows you to put your feet on the ground emotionally and figure out what you really want.
Best Wishes.
FOUR years, of course you love her!!!
But you obviously aren't in love wit her after what she did to you.
Just cutting all ties would be best!! It's going to be lonely, but you will get used to it.
Sorry for your loss, four years is a long long time.
Try a new hobby. Go out and hang out with the boys. Being active will get your mind off of her and the hurt you feel. Being lonely and thinking about the situation won't help you move on.
If you get back with her, can you just forgive her and move on? If not, a relationship full of resentment and bringing up the past will not last.
first stop talking to her.
then try to stop thinking about her
and then block out all of your memories with her
and move on
It sounds like you know what you have to do, but I've been there and the loneliness does stink. Get with some friends, or give one a call. Be strong, If she's done it once; she'll probably do it again. Don't jump into a false feeling relationship, because then you'll hurt that person and you don't want to do that. Unfortunately it's gonna be lonely but that's how your heart mends and makes you stronger, my opinion. It will get better, just make sure you keep your friends close and get out of the house, go for a walk, do something for yourself, get a dog, or cat, or some kind of pet, if you can. If I didn't have my baby girl; I don't know how I could have got through it on my own. I hope this helps, I wish you all the luck. Stay strong, you don't deserve to be cheating on and there's so many good girls out there but it's not far to you or her if you jump into a relationship if your not ready.
I have been with my fiance for 6 years , last year i found out he have been cheating on me for the past 3 year
I told him that it's over when i found out, he cried and told me he's sorry and it's over but he even went as far as to so call break it off but i found out recently that he is still messing around i dont want to be in this relationship the question is how do i cope with this deception?I have been with my fiance for 6 years , last year i found out he have been cheating on me for the past 3 year
well, understand and accept that it will hurt for a while. Now don't try to make the pain easier just accept it and deal with it. don't have a relationship to soon before your emotionally ready. Dint get drunk for another 6 months most of the time when we break up we go out to drink and it ends up being a bad thing. The last advice is to not be afraid to get another relationship it will take time but there is no need to fear a broken heart. Pain whether emotional pain or physical pain is a part of life just take ti slow and deal with it. good luckI have been with my fiance for 6 years , last year i found out he have been cheating on me for the past 3 year
You cut all contact. That he was your fiance for 6 years is a red flag. The man has commitment issues.
If he is your fiance..and has been for the past 6 years. His already cheating..you dont need that, when you marry him he will obviously continue doing it. Get rid of him, im sure you can do better.
well, understand and accept that it will hurt for a while. Now don't try to make the pain easier just accept it and deal with it. don't have a relationship to soon before your emotionally ready. Dint get drunk for another 6 months most of the time when we break up we go out to drink and it ends up being a bad thing. The last advice is to not be afraid to get another relationship it will take time but there is no need to fear a broken heart. Pain whether emotional pain or physical pain is a part of life just take ti slow and deal with it. good luckI have been with my fiance for 6 years , last year i found out he have been cheating on me for the past 3 year
You cut all contact. That he was your fiance for 6 years is a red flag. The man has commitment issues.
If he is your fiance..and has been for the past 6 years. His already cheating..you dont need that, when you marry him he will obviously continue doing it. Get rid of him, im sure you can do better.
Please!!! help me. I feel crushed . How do I cope with this? I can't run away from this, I can't face this.
I went to my dad's office yesterday, and fiddling on his computer, I found out that he's been visiting X-rated sites thru his office comp.
At that time, I was shocked, but my first impulse was to download ccleaner, and remove all traces of this activity. Like, its not as if I don't watch porn, but I am good at covering my tracks , and He's not, and I was worried about him getting into trouble. ( At 58, he has another 2 years to go before retirement, been married 26 years.) I am 17 and my sis is 22.
But later, I visited some of the sites and confirmed my suspicions-- Many of them were fronts for ';female escorts';. Ugh.
What do I do? He might be cheating on my mom, notto mention spending money that he should be saving on costly sluts.
But what can I do? I am REALLY NOT comfortable discussing this with either my mom or dad, and am trying to convince myself that it must be his assistant or someone else who is using the comp when he's not there to stop them. But that's rather unlikely.Please!!! help me. I feel crushed . How do I cope with this? I can't run away from this, I can't face this.
Call him on it. if he knows you know he may stop. It is not fair to your mother, if he is with prostitutes he is putting her life in danger, and must be stopped.Please!!! help me. I feel crushed . How do I cope with this? I can't run away from this, I can't face this.
The simple solution for all who are involved, is to download the cleaner... %26amp; not say a word to anyone about it.
If it happens again, you could always clean it again.
Maybe he'll get the hint, but without any of you having to go thru an embarrassing or tragic situation.
I don't know why you were ';fiddling'; with your dad's computer, but anything you saw there is his private business. It need not mean he is cheating. First, keep your mouth shut. You are 17 and have many opinions that are typical for your age. Your dad is a grown man who is far from dead. You say you are not comfortable talking with your dad, but before you say or do anything, you should try. As you mature, you will understand more. I am not condoning what he may be doing, but it is NOT your place to be his conscience or to run your mouth about anything your learned while ';fiddling.'; You don't have the facts, the understanding or maturity to ruin lives based on what you don't know. Blabbing or tattling is childish and would hurt everyone.
Well as hard as it may seem I'd have a talk with your father. After all what if even its a small chance someone else used his computer and went to these sites and it wasn't him at all. Either way confronting him might just make him realize he made a mistake if he actually was him going to these sites. Good luck to you. ;o)
I realize you want to help, but actually, it's none of your business.
Confronting him, or telling your mother will change their relationship to each other and yours to them. The big question is will it change for the better or will it be worse? No one can answer that one. Are you willing to risk it?
First of all, let him know that you know and that you are disappointed in him. You can't make him stop but to let him know that you are aware of his activity could be a good incentive to make him stop.
Second, please realize that monogamy isn't really normal and that people, even Christians, wander sexually. Sex is as normal as going to the bathroom. You are only 17 and think think the world is pure when in reality it is not. Hypocracy is the first evil...the interest in sex is way down the line.
Maybe your dad won't quit being interested in sex but with your encouragement he an drop the hypocracy. I'd bet your mom already know he does this...women are seldom surprised ...though sometimes they pretend to be.
Extremely tough growing pain but you will survive. Talk to your dad about it. Tell him how disappointed you are. If anyone tells your mom about it, let it be your dad.
I just read that you're afraid of your dad...my brothers and I were afraid of my dad too. You're 17 now...maybe you should consider that its time to quit being afraid. Maybe its time he should be afraid of you. Find that self confidence that he never gave you and be proud of yourself and your ability to confront head on! I don't think sneaky tricks are the answer.
When you tell a family member something like that it can %26amp; sometimes does back fire in your face. If you erase it he will just put it back on there.Maybe sitting down with your Dad in front of your findings will be a good eye opener for him. Just be very careful when going on someone's computer cause we all have secrets.
well try to block it so he cant get on or tell him that he needs help
You need to be a man and discuss this with your Dad. It could very well be that someone else is using his computer to do this. However, if it's really your Dad, you aren't in a position of authority over him, and you can't force him to stop. You can only let him know how this affects you. If he's a decent guy, that may be enough to make him take a hard look at himself and change his ways.
While we're at it, you don't need to be looking at porn, either. You mentioned it very cavalierly in your post, but there's nothing light-hearted about it. As you're beginning to consider now, porn can destroy families and careers. If you're not strong enough to quit ';cold turkey'; look for a counselor or a support group for help. Maybe you and your Dad could get help together. How would he feel if he knew you were surfing the same porn sites that he is?
Good luck to you both!
See, you don't know for sure. You have to ask your dad. And if he says no you have to say seriously because I care about you andthen he would say the real answer. Andthen sticks to the real answer. I know you don't it but you really need to talk to him. I thought that was the same with my dad but he wasn't cheating. You have to tell somebody. Or you aren't going to move on with your life.
Man, I really feel for you....
Thankfully, I've never been in that position, but I'd guess it had as much to do with my parents never having been caught than it did that they were 100% faithful. Either way....
At the risk of sounding overly naive, you need to try to find out for sure EXACTLY what's going on. There are some places on the internet you can go and it puts through some porn sites, etc. without your knowledge (I went cleaning up my own computer once, shocked at the porn sites I had apparently ';visited';, knowing no one else had been on my computer). You need to be sure, before you act, that your dad is the one accessing these sites, and that he's doing it on purpose.
Though I've never been in this situation, it's exactly like something my cousin went through several years back. Even though my uncle and cousin aren't the closest of all fathers and sons (especially back then), my cousin did go to his dad and talk to him. He pulled out the way he had been raised to respect women and be faithful to his wife, telling his dad what he was accessing online is nothing short of cyanide for a marriage. It caused a little friction, but my uncle ultimately realized my cousin was right (the friction was caused by the embarrassment or being upset at being caught.)
I have a theory that most people can be talked to and problems be worked out that way, as long as you keep a level head and approach it the right way. As angry and disappointed as you are right now, a conversation with your dad will go MUCH easier, and probably with better results, if you talk to him like an adult, calmly and rationally, letting him know you love him, but this is really bothering you, and you won't back down or be made to feel like your opinions are worthless. Basically, show confidence without arrogance. Expect that his first reaction may be defensiveness, and that's completely normal. You'd probably respond the same way.
You said something that kind of bothered me, though. I'm a homemaker. While your mother has been doing it much longer than myself, it's an incorrect statement to say that she ';can't get a job'; because she's a homemaker. I have personally had working relationships with women who returned to the work force after 25 years of homemaking. Had they not told me they hadn't ';worked'; in 25 years, I never would have guessed it. In many ways, being a homemaker allows some growth that is really appreciated in the workforce (from early on, homemakers have to learn to manage their time wisely, mediate disagreements between the most unreasonable people on planet earth (toddlers), show self-discipline, and multi-task.) My dad has what I call the ';hiring and firing'; job at the company he works for, and he assured me that the fact that a woman hasn't had a ';real job'; (there's just not a nice term in that situation) in decades has never made a difference in their hire-ability. Just wanted to let you know, so you don't have that to worry about.
Unfortunately, in these times and in this country, a suprising number of women assume their spouses look at porn. It's not right, but it's possible that would not be a surpise in the least to your mom. I definately don't think it's on the list of things to do for a great marriage, but it's a sad fact that huge numbers of men look at that garbage, and it's a sadder fact that huge numbers of their wives are aware of it.
I definately think you should talk to your dad, but not your mom just yet.
screw it....tell your mom so that she can get out....thats horrible...how would you feel if you were in her shoes! he will have to pay her alimony and yes she can get some sort of a job...im sure friends and family could help out....get her away from this jack asss quick!
here y dont u mail me and ill tell u my answer that why as i dont think u will want people to read what i have to say it will be ok names laura mail me if u wanna talk
Sit him down, and give him a talk.
Don't accuse him right off the bat, but you know, get in a conversation, then bring it up- without the accusing tone because it just MAY be a different person who used the computer.
Or talk with your mom about your suspicions, you know. That would probably help too. :)
You think too much. Here is how it goes. You are not your father or mother. They are your guardians for a reason. They are adults and let the adults settle their way of doing things.
Just because there are porn site don’t mean your father is fu##ing someone. Even if he is you are not in any position to stop him from what is “want” to do fu##ing someone. Just tell your father what you found and then ask him does mom know cause if he doesn’t tell then you will.
And let them work it out them self. You are not an adult to make there decision for them yet.
Then charge your father $200.00 and a new car for covering his mess up.
i think your father is big enaf to think for im self , i'm shure you dont no the full story , or you toak whid him or live and let live
At that time, I was shocked, but my first impulse was to download ccleaner, and remove all traces of this activity. Like, its not as if I don't watch porn, but I am good at covering my tracks , and He's not, and I was worried about him getting into trouble. ( At 58, he has another 2 years to go before retirement, been married 26 years.) I am 17 and my sis is 22.
But later, I visited some of the sites and confirmed my suspicions-- Many of them were fronts for ';female escorts';. Ugh.
What do I do? He might be cheating on my mom, notto mention spending money that he should be saving on costly sluts.
But what can I do? I am REALLY NOT comfortable discussing this with either my mom or dad, and am trying to convince myself that it must be his assistant or someone else who is using the comp when he's not there to stop them. But that's rather unlikely.Please!!! help me. I feel crushed . How do I cope with this? I can't run away from this, I can't face this.
Call him on it. if he knows you know he may stop. It is not fair to your mother, if he is with prostitutes he is putting her life in danger, and must be stopped.Please!!! help me. I feel crushed . How do I cope with this? I can't run away from this, I can't face this.
The simple solution for all who are involved, is to download the cleaner... %26amp; not say a word to anyone about it.
If it happens again, you could always clean it again.
Maybe he'll get the hint, but without any of you having to go thru an embarrassing or tragic situation.
I don't know why you were ';fiddling'; with your dad's computer, but anything you saw there is his private business. It need not mean he is cheating. First, keep your mouth shut. You are 17 and have many opinions that are typical for your age. Your dad is a grown man who is far from dead. You say you are not comfortable talking with your dad, but before you say or do anything, you should try. As you mature, you will understand more. I am not condoning what he may be doing, but it is NOT your place to be his conscience or to run your mouth about anything your learned while ';fiddling.'; You don't have the facts, the understanding or maturity to ruin lives based on what you don't know. Blabbing or tattling is childish and would hurt everyone.
Well as hard as it may seem I'd have a talk with your father. After all what if even its a small chance someone else used his computer and went to these sites and it wasn't him at all. Either way confronting him might just make him realize he made a mistake if he actually was him going to these sites. Good luck to you. ;o)
I realize you want to help, but actually, it's none of your business.
Confronting him, or telling your mother will change their relationship to each other and yours to them. The big question is will it change for the better or will it be worse? No one can answer that one. Are you willing to risk it?
First of all, let him know that you know and that you are disappointed in him. You can't make him stop but to let him know that you are aware of his activity could be a good incentive to make him stop.
Second, please realize that monogamy isn't really normal and that people, even Christians, wander sexually. Sex is as normal as going to the bathroom. You are only 17 and think think the world is pure when in reality it is not. Hypocracy is the first evil...the interest in sex is way down the line.
Maybe your dad won't quit being interested in sex but with your encouragement he an drop the hypocracy. I'd bet your mom already know he does this...women are seldom surprised ...though sometimes they pretend to be.
Extremely tough growing pain but you will survive. Talk to your dad about it. Tell him how disappointed you are. If anyone tells your mom about it, let it be your dad.
I just read that you're afraid of your dad...my brothers and I were afraid of my dad too. You're 17 now...maybe you should consider that its time to quit being afraid. Maybe its time he should be afraid of you. Find that self confidence that he never gave you and be proud of yourself and your ability to confront head on! I don't think sneaky tricks are the answer.
When you tell a family member something like that it can %26amp; sometimes does back fire in your face. If you erase it he will just put it back on there.Maybe sitting down with your Dad in front of your findings will be a good eye opener for him. Just be very careful when going on someone's computer cause we all have secrets.
well try to block it so he cant get on or tell him that he needs help
You need to be a man and discuss this with your Dad. It could very well be that someone else is using his computer to do this. However, if it's really your Dad, you aren't in a position of authority over him, and you can't force him to stop. You can only let him know how this affects you. If he's a decent guy, that may be enough to make him take a hard look at himself and change his ways.
While we're at it, you don't need to be looking at porn, either. You mentioned it very cavalierly in your post, but there's nothing light-hearted about it. As you're beginning to consider now, porn can destroy families and careers. If you're not strong enough to quit ';cold turkey'; look for a counselor or a support group for help. Maybe you and your Dad could get help together. How would he feel if he knew you were surfing the same porn sites that he is?
Good luck to you both!
See, you don't know for sure. You have to ask your dad. And if he says no you have to say seriously because I care about you andthen he would say the real answer. Andthen sticks to the real answer. I know you don't it but you really need to talk to him. I thought that was the same with my dad but he wasn't cheating. You have to tell somebody. Or you aren't going to move on with your life.
Man, I really feel for you....
Thankfully, I've never been in that position, but I'd guess it had as much to do with my parents never having been caught than it did that they were 100% faithful. Either way....
At the risk of sounding overly naive, you need to try to find out for sure EXACTLY what's going on. There are some places on the internet you can go and it puts through some porn sites, etc. without your knowledge (I went cleaning up my own computer once, shocked at the porn sites I had apparently ';visited';, knowing no one else had been on my computer). You need to be sure, before you act, that your dad is the one accessing these sites, and that he's doing it on purpose.
Though I've never been in this situation, it's exactly like something my cousin went through several years back. Even though my uncle and cousin aren't the closest of all fathers and sons (especially back then), my cousin did go to his dad and talk to him. He pulled out the way he had been raised to respect women and be faithful to his wife, telling his dad what he was accessing online is nothing short of cyanide for a marriage. It caused a little friction, but my uncle ultimately realized my cousin was right (the friction was caused by the embarrassment or being upset at being caught.)
I have a theory that most people can be talked to and problems be worked out that way, as long as you keep a level head and approach it the right way. As angry and disappointed as you are right now, a conversation with your dad will go MUCH easier, and probably with better results, if you talk to him like an adult, calmly and rationally, letting him know you love him, but this is really bothering you, and you won't back down or be made to feel like your opinions are worthless. Basically, show confidence without arrogance. Expect that his first reaction may be defensiveness, and that's completely normal. You'd probably respond the same way.
You said something that kind of bothered me, though. I'm a homemaker. While your mother has been doing it much longer than myself, it's an incorrect statement to say that she ';can't get a job'; because she's a homemaker. I have personally had working relationships with women who returned to the work force after 25 years of homemaking. Had they not told me they hadn't ';worked'; in 25 years, I never would have guessed it. In many ways, being a homemaker allows some growth that is really appreciated in the workforce (from early on, homemakers have to learn to manage their time wisely, mediate disagreements between the most unreasonable people on planet earth (toddlers), show self-discipline, and multi-task.) My dad has what I call the ';hiring and firing'; job at the company he works for, and he assured me that the fact that a woman hasn't had a ';real job'; (there's just not a nice term in that situation) in decades has never made a difference in their hire-ability. Just wanted to let you know, so you don't have that to worry about.
Unfortunately, in these times and in this country, a suprising number of women assume their spouses look at porn. It's not right, but it's possible that would not be a surpise in the least to your mom. I definately don't think it's on the list of things to do for a great marriage, but it's a sad fact that huge numbers of men look at that garbage, and it's a sadder fact that huge numbers of their wives are aware of it.
I definately think you should talk to your dad, but not your mom just yet.
screw it....tell your mom so that she can get out....thats horrible...how would you feel if you were in her shoes! he will have to pay her alimony and yes she can get some sort of a job...im sure friends and family could help out....get her away from this jack asss quick!
here y dont u mail me and ill tell u my answer that why as i dont think u will want people to read what i have to say it will be ok names laura mail me if u wanna talk
Sit him down, and give him a talk.
Don't accuse him right off the bat, but you know, get in a conversation, then bring it up- without the accusing tone because it just MAY be a different person who used the computer.
Or talk with your mom about your suspicions, you know. That would probably help too. :)
You think too much. Here is how it goes. You are not your father or mother. They are your guardians for a reason. They are adults and let the adults settle their way of doing things.
Just because there are porn site don’t mean your father is fu##ing someone. Even if he is you are not in any position to stop him from what is “want” to do fu##ing someone. Just tell your father what you found and then ask him does mom know cause if he doesn’t tell then you will.
And let them work it out them self. You are not an adult to make there decision for them yet.
Then charge your father $200.00 and a new car for covering his mess up.
i think your father is big enaf to think for im self , i'm shure you dont no the full story , or you toak whid him or live and let live
Divorce....how to cope.?
It's been almost a year since I left my husband. There is no doubt from anyone, including myself, that I did the right thing by leaving him. I was never going to have anything with a drug addict. But why do I still miss him? I'm finally getting back into the whole dating thing. I'm seeing an old boyfriend, who I still care alot about. Yet, somehow I still feel like I'm cheating on my husband. Anyone got any insight?Divorce....how to cope.?
Pity for the drug addict---HIS CHOICES--HIS LIFE--HIS LOSS---but he probably puts drugs before you and most everything else. Miss him?? Yeah--its a shame it had to go bad--but I wouldn't miss him for very long. Close one door before you open another. Don't date until you are over this guy completely. It will ruin the NEW chances at happiness--especially if you told me or another guy you miss the ex. I would say';Oh yeah--well beat it until you growup and get your head straight'; I would not waste time with a person still attached to an ex. YOU have to decide when YOU are finished with him. Sorry for the entire disappointing thing--but it is up to you to MOVE ON. Cheating on an ex??? You better rethink that attitude. CLOSE THAT DOOR BEFORE YOU OPEN ANOTHER---its way too much on the human emotions. Good luck to you.Divorce....how to cope.?
Its different for everyone. You will have to pull up your socks and go on with your life. It seems you were married for a very long time and that is why you miss your Ex-Husband. Thing is that you are missing the familiar surrounding and not the person exactlty.
Don't worry things will change, just wait for the right time.
it depends on for what reason you left him . . . if its because he was abusing or harassing or something rude , think about all the bad things he did to you . . . he was genuine and there is no big reason . . . you are still in love with him its good to consider a reconciliation . . .
Its hard, and different for everyone. I have been divorced for years. It takes time. It might help to look up the psychological grieving process. The steps. It will help explain what you're feeling and show its normal. *hugs*
And remember, you did love him enough to marry him. It will take time.
Relationships are emotional %26amp; they take time to decompress, beginning from the time of separation. BTW, was he actually a drug addict or light drug taker %26amp; still responsible?
Pity for the drug addict---HIS CHOICES--HIS LIFE--HIS LOSS---but he probably puts drugs before you and most everything else. Miss him?? Yeah--its a shame it had to go bad--but I wouldn't miss him for very long. Close one door before you open another. Don't date until you are over this guy completely. It will ruin the NEW chances at happiness--especially if you told me or another guy you miss the ex. I would say';Oh yeah--well beat it until you growup and get your head straight'; I would not waste time with a person still attached to an ex. YOU have to decide when YOU are finished with him. Sorry for the entire disappointing thing--but it is up to you to MOVE ON. Cheating on an ex??? You better rethink that attitude. CLOSE THAT DOOR BEFORE YOU OPEN ANOTHER---its way too much on the human emotions. Good luck to you.Divorce....how to cope.?
Its different for everyone. You will have to pull up your socks and go on with your life. It seems you were married for a very long time and that is why you miss your Ex-Husband. Thing is that you are missing the familiar surrounding and not the person exactlty.
Don't worry things will change, just wait for the right time.
it depends on for what reason you left him . . . if its because he was abusing or harassing or something rude , think about all the bad things he did to you . . . he was genuine and there is no big reason . . . you are still in love with him its good to consider a reconciliation . . .
Its hard, and different for everyone. I have been divorced for years. It takes time. It might help to look up the psychological grieving process. The steps. It will help explain what you're feeling and show its normal. *hugs*
And remember, you did love him enough to marry him. It will take time.
Relationships are emotional %26amp; they take time to decompress, beginning from the time of separation. BTW, was he actually a drug addict or light drug taker %26amp; still responsible?
Please!!! help me. I feel crushed . How do I cope with this? I can't run away from this, I can't face this.
I went to my dad's office yesterday, and fiddling on his computer, I found out that he's been visiting X-rated sites thru his office comp.
At that time, I was shocked, but my first impulse was to download ccleaner, and remove all traces of this activity. Like, its not as if I don't watch porn, but I am good at covering my tracks , and He's not, and I was worried about him getting into trouble. ( At 58, he has another 2 years to go before retirement, been married 26 years.) I am 17 and my sis is 22.
But later, I visited some of the sites and confirmed my suspicions-- Many of them were fronts for ';female escorts';. Ugh.
What do I do? He might be cheating on my mom, notto mention spending money that he should be saving on costly sluts.
But what can I do? I am REALLY NOT comfortable discussing this with either my mom or dad, and am trying to convince myself that it must be his assistant or someone else who is using the comp when he's not there to stop them. But that's rather unlikely.Please!!! help me. I feel crushed . How do I cope with this? I can't run away from this, I can't face this.
He is 58..... he has the right to do what he wants... You have no idea if it is him... or someone else using his computer. Also, it really is not the place for one of his kids to discuss something like this with him... especially if you do not have a relationship like that....
How embarrassing!
No do not erase anything on his computer....
Just because a man visits porn sites does not mean he is cheating.
I personally find the sites disgusting..... but I am not here to judge anyone who visits them....Please!!! help me. I feel crushed . How do I cope with this? I can't run away from this, I can't face this.
I do not envy your present position and can understand your hurt. However ,at this point in time remember that you are not absolutely sure that your father is using a social escort service. So your emotions are based purely on your suspicions..
Reflect on whether his habits have changed, his time coming home consistent as before, he demeanour to wife and family unchanged....
This is a part of life and millions go through this ';phase';. Nobody can or should sit in judgment on this man. There are so many unknown things, so many uncertainties.
Take heart, focus on the positive side , discuss with trusted friends to gain more insight and understanding and do not leave your sister out of it.
Good luck and hope all turns out well for you and family.
Ok... believe it or not a lot of men download porn just to pass time away.. dont mean they act on it... like reading a magazine..also his wife might know he does it and have no problems with that cos she trusts him. Id say she knows him more then u do and some things a daughter is not privy to..and i think u forget that ur parents sex lives need livening up after so long..if u got married and was for so long dont tell me u wuldnt read a magazine and dont tell me ur husband wuldnt know u did.
This is SOOO none of your business. Most men are fascinated by porn, and just about any porn site you visit has links to escort services... don't jump to conclusions. I understand why your protective of your mother, but children rarely know the full details of their parents marriage, and usually nothing about their sex life, ...what they do, what they don't do, and what they've agreed upon. Keep in mind that it isn't completely uncommon for wives your mothers age to be fully aware of and condoning of their husbands having sexual interests outside the marriage, and mentioning it would be a huge embarrassment to everyone. And if she doesn't know, do you really want to be the one responsible for breaking her heart and destroying her life? Stay out of it.
Most men do this to whatever extent they know how and think they can get away with, whether it's getting hardcore porn from the internet, or just flipping channels on the TV looking for pretty women. Heck, you do it.
Those escort ads have stuff in them to look at that, and that's all the vast majority of men looking at them will do: look. It's as far as they care to go, really. They're just there for the free porn. If the worst he browses are escort ad sites, you probably don't have anything to worry about.
If the sites are all local, though, that might be different, but would still most likely be just a basis for fantasy. All-in-all, if the only sign of infidelity you see is web browsing, there probably isn't any.
UPDATE: They ARE local? Whoah!
Just to give him the benefit of the doubt, hit Ctrl-H and look at the browsing history. You can then see when the pages were last viewed and get a better idea of how he got to them - whether he was seeking them out to begin with or stumbled on one and looked up the rest out of amused curiosity. I'll admit, though, it doesn't sound good.
Maybe confont him indirectly. Ask him which of his coworkers was browsing escorts on his computer. Watch his reaction. Heck, since it's a new enough computer the sites could well have been browsed by whoever set it up for him, so it's still not a sure thing. The browsing history should tell you the timing. If you can find out when he got it that could actually eliminate him as a suspect. Good luck.
Geez, that's alot for a 17 year old to have to deal with. Talk to your sis. At 22 she could have some ideas and together you could figure something out. If not, is there another close adult you can go to? I suggest not worrying about trying to mend your parents marriage. Most woman suspect before anybody else knows anyway. You don't say why your mom can't get a job. Is she disabled? Maybe she already knows and either puts up with it or doesn't mind as long as he stays with her. (Yes, some women have such low self esteem they would rather live this way.) I would also put a block on his computer. If he doesn't know how to fix it, it could work for a little while. It won't stop him though. If he is determined he will find other ways around it. Men are just pigs and they don't care who they hurt. Most of them only think with their D****. It's sad but true. I wish you lots of luck.
Yes, do it. What is he gonna do? Complain that he cant get onto his escort sites??
no cuz for one he is grown and he knows better and he may end up hating you or embarrased that you found out so just leave it alone
WOW, do I feel your pain!
If you do not mind I will be praying for you and your family.
This is a family issue and there is no easy answer for you. I admire your concern for your family.
I don't know how to advise you except please seek out a good and discreet family counselor. You may even be able to talk to someone online.
There are many support groups out there and you can search for most of them online. Do not settle for any type of help until you feel good about the person or people trying to help you.
You do not have to run from this. You can face this. You are strong enough to reach out for help. That means you have what it takes to face this even though it is very hard.
Please do not be discouraged. Be encouraged. Your father is wrong and you need to get some help. Please seek counseling.
I wish you all the best.
I dbout that he'd be cheating. Probably just craved. A man his age and a women that age get weak and can't you know do it like it used to be anymore so I guess he's just in a phase. Tell him you know before anyone else finds out. He needs to cut down. or stop.
my answer is quite simple...
DON'T WAIT ANYMORE...JUS GO AND HAVE TALK WITH HIM BOUT THIS,
GO NOW........................RIGHT NOW!!!
Hi, you can use contentwatch to protect your PC from porn site.
ContentProtect Internet Filtering Software provides top rated internet filtering and protection for homes %26amp; businesses. Find out why thousands of parents and businesses including Disney have chosen ContentProtect as their Internet Filter of choice.
you can get more information about ContentWatch.
http://network.sitesled.com/contentwatch鈥?/a>
Good Luck %26amp;%26amp; Best Wishes!
you could start up a conversation right at the dinner table with all your family... start it like ... the other day a friend of mine was using her Dad's computer and accidentally found out that he was on pornographic sights and that is just wrong...her mom and dad are very happy together.... what would make him go to those sights and look at those type of people... you being a man dad... why do men do these things... I can see single men doing them ..but not married ones... any ideas Dad...
TURN OFF HIS ANTI-VIRUS AND FIREWALL AND ANTI-SPYWARE PROTECTION AND LET HIS COMPUTER RUN
FREE WITH DISEASE FROM THE INTERNET. WHEN HIS COMPUTER SLOWS DOWN AND ENVENTUALLY CRASHES
HE'LL BE STUCK IN A POSITION.
AS FOR BEING AFRAID OF YOUR DAD: DON'T LET IT FAZE YOU. IF HE'S CHEATING- YOUR MOM HAS A RIGHT TO KNOW. JUST DO IT IN A MANNER WHERE YOU DON'T GET IN ';TROUBLE';. I DON'T WANT YOU TAKE A BEATING YOU DON'T DESERVE.
You shouldn't have been snooping. You don't know if he is cheating or just looking. Leave it alone.
You are a good son - be proud of yourself. I think that is a good idea to install that. Don't mention it to anyone, just do it. I hope the best for you, your mom and your sis!
i think you should tell your sis and try to get her to help u and it might just b hes old and likes that kind of stuff.but ya talk to your sis b 4 u thalk to your mom or dad may b she will talk to them with you
You are suffering and deeply hurt from what you should not have been fiddling with in the first place. But now, you must see someone you trust to vent your feelings, the school counselor, your minister, or a trusted (I emphasize trusted) adult friend SUCH as a trusted teacher. Your dad, like all people in the world, has his weakness, understand that he isn't perfect, and neither is anyone. Accept and love your dad, but not his weakness, after all has he not honored you? Yes, your mom would also suffer if she found out, and perhaps she already knows (there are tell-tale signs)...women are smart and they can detect such things. Take care and God bless.
As disgusting as it may seem to you, it is not any of your business. You have no right to put any block on his computer. Remember, your dad is a big boy...I am sure he has already considered the possible implications to his behaviour.
';cleaning'; his computer can save hs job and his retirement as this is a ';zero-tolerance'; issue in most companies ... delete the porn links on his ';Favorites'; list, or better yet delete the entire favorites list so he has to recreate it from scratch, that will keep him busy on more productive activities. I would not tell him because if he thinks the corporate IT dept did it, he will be unlikely to do it at work again.
setting blocks may be good, but to install a ';nanny'; program or any other software may alert the company to his activities and that you DONT want to do. if he shoots himself in the foot by questioning the IT dept, thats his stupidity, but minor adjustments to his permissions wont send any flags to anyone other than himself. you are a good son/daughter and are only looking out for his employment welfare. you dont need to turn this into a confrontation at this time and for all concerned, the less said, the better.
on the other side of that coin, he might have been looking at porn to ';charge his batteries'; for your mom when he got home. in any case, the workplace is definitely NOT the place to surf for porn
Your father is a ba$tard, and your mom probably knows that he's cheating honey but is probably afraid of him as are you. This is a bad situation and you bringing it up to your dad could make it worse as he could easily lie to you and say it must've been someone else or intimidate you to lying for him, so go with your gut and block the pervert from that porn. He's not only cheating but putting you guys in financial trouble too. Hes a jerk. Pretty soon you'll be old enough to get the F out.
Mind your own business.Your under 18,so you are the only one who is definitely doing something illegal.
you need to talk to your mom and tell her she will be mad but say this:
';mom, i need to tell you something but don't be mad, when dad's at work i saw him going on porn sites and he goes on female porn and he's cheating on you ';blond hair celebrity hair
At that time, I was shocked, but my first impulse was to download ccleaner, and remove all traces of this activity. Like, its not as if I don't watch porn, but I am good at covering my tracks , and He's not, and I was worried about him getting into trouble. ( At 58, he has another 2 years to go before retirement, been married 26 years.) I am 17 and my sis is 22.
But later, I visited some of the sites and confirmed my suspicions-- Many of them were fronts for ';female escorts';. Ugh.
What do I do? He might be cheating on my mom, notto mention spending money that he should be saving on costly sluts.
But what can I do? I am REALLY NOT comfortable discussing this with either my mom or dad, and am trying to convince myself that it must be his assistant or someone else who is using the comp when he's not there to stop them. But that's rather unlikely.Please!!! help me. I feel crushed . How do I cope with this? I can't run away from this, I can't face this.
He is 58..... he has the right to do what he wants... You have no idea if it is him... or someone else using his computer. Also, it really is not the place for one of his kids to discuss something like this with him... especially if you do not have a relationship like that....
How embarrassing!
No do not erase anything on his computer....
Just because a man visits porn sites does not mean he is cheating.
I personally find the sites disgusting..... but I am not here to judge anyone who visits them....Please!!! help me. I feel crushed . How do I cope with this? I can't run away from this, I can't face this.
I do not envy your present position and can understand your hurt. However ,at this point in time remember that you are not absolutely sure that your father is using a social escort service. So your emotions are based purely on your suspicions..
Reflect on whether his habits have changed, his time coming home consistent as before, he demeanour to wife and family unchanged....
This is a part of life and millions go through this ';phase';. Nobody can or should sit in judgment on this man. There are so many unknown things, so many uncertainties.
Take heart, focus on the positive side , discuss with trusted friends to gain more insight and understanding and do not leave your sister out of it.
Good luck and hope all turns out well for you and family.
Ok... believe it or not a lot of men download porn just to pass time away.. dont mean they act on it... like reading a magazine..also his wife might know he does it and have no problems with that cos she trusts him. Id say she knows him more then u do and some things a daughter is not privy to..and i think u forget that ur parents sex lives need livening up after so long..if u got married and was for so long dont tell me u wuldnt read a magazine and dont tell me ur husband wuldnt know u did.
This is SOOO none of your business. Most men are fascinated by porn, and just about any porn site you visit has links to escort services... don't jump to conclusions. I understand why your protective of your mother, but children rarely know the full details of their parents marriage, and usually nothing about their sex life, ...what they do, what they don't do, and what they've agreed upon. Keep in mind that it isn't completely uncommon for wives your mothers age to be fully aware of and condoning of their husbands having sexual interests outside the marriage, and mentioning it would be a huge embarrassment to everyone. And if she doesn't know, do you really want to be the one responsible for breaking her heart and destroying her life? Stay out of it.
Most men do this to whatever extent they know how and think they can get away with, whether it's getting hardcore porn from the internet, or just flipping channels on the TV looking for pretty women. Heck, you do it.
Those escort ads have stuff in them to look at that, and that's all the vast majority of men looking at them will do: look. It's as far as they care to go, really. They're just there for the free porn. If the worst he browses are escort ad sites, you probably don't have anything to worry about.
If the sites are all local, though, that might be different, but would still most likely be just a basis for fantasy. All-in-all, if the only sign of infidelity you see is web browsing, there probably isn't any.
UPDATE: They ARE local? Whoah!
Just to give him the benefit of the doubt, hit Ctrl-H and look at the browsing history. You can then see when the pages were last viewed and get a better idea of how he got to them - whether he was seeking them out to begin with or stumbled on one and looked up the rest out of amused curiosity. I'll admit, though, it doesn't sound good.
Maybe confont him indirectly. Ask him which of his coworkers was browsing escorts on his computer. Watch his reaction. Heck, since it's a new enough computer the sites could well have been browsed by whoever set it up for him, so it's still not a sure thing. The browsing history should tell you the timing. If you can find out when he got it that could actually eliminate him as a suspect. Good luck.
Geez, that's alot for a 17 year old to have to deal with. Talk to your sis. At 22 she could have some ideas and together you could figure something out. If not, is there another close adult you can go to? I suggest not worrying about trying to mend your parents marriage. Most woman suspect before anybody else knows anyway. You don't say why your mom can't get a job. Is she disabled? Maybe she already knows and either puts up with it or doesn't mind as long as he stays with her. (Yes, some women have such low self esteem they would rather live this way.) I would also put a block on his computer. If he doesn't know how to fix it, it could work for a little while. It won't stop him though. If he is determined he will find other ways around it. Men are just pigs and they don't care who they hurt. Most of them only think with their D****. It's sad but true. I wish you lots of luck.
Yes, do it. What is he gonna do? Complain that he cant get onto his escort sites??
no cuz for one he is grown and he knows better and he may end up hating you or embarrased that you found out so just leave it alone
WOW, do I feel your pain!
If you do not mind I will be praying for you and your family.
This is a family issue and there is no easy answer for you. I admire your concern for your family.
I don't know how to advise you except please seek out a good and discreet family counselor. You may even be able to talk to someone online.
There are many support groups out there and you can search for most of them online. Do not settle for any type of help until you feel good about the person or people trying to help you.
You do not have to run from this. You can face this. You are strong enough to reach out for help. That means you have what it takes to face this even though it is very hard.
Please do not be discouraged. Be encouraged. Your father is wrong and you need to get some help. Please seek counseling.
I wish you all the best.
I dbout that he'd be cheating. Probably just craved. A man his age and a women that age get weak and can't you know do it like it used to be anymore so I guess he's just in a phase. Tell him you know before anyone else finds out. He needs to cut down. or stop.
my answer is quite simple...
DON'T WAIT ANYMORE...JUS GO AND HAVE TALK WITH HIM BOUT THIS,
GO NOW........................RIGHT NOW!!!
Hi, you can use contentwatch to protect your PC from porn site.
ContentProtect Internet Filtering Software provides top rated internet filtering and protection for homes %26amp; businesses. Find out why thousands of parents and businesses including Disney have chosen ContentProtect as their Internet Filter of choice.
you can get more information about ContentWatch.
http://network.sitesled.com/contentwatch鈥?/a>
Good Luck %26amp;%26amp; Best Wishes!
you could start up a conversation right at the dinner table with all your family... start it like ... the other day a friend of mine was using her Dad's computer and accidentally found out that he was on pornographic sights and that is just wrong...her mom and dad are very happy together.... what would make him go to those sights and look at those type of people... you being a man dad... why do men do these things... I can see single men doing them ..but not married ones... any ideas Dad...
TURN OFF HIS ANTI-VIRUS AND FIREWALL AND ANTI-SPYWARE PROTECTION AND LET HIS COMPUTER RUN
FREE WITH DISEASE FROM THE INTERNET. WHEN HIS COMPUTER SLOWS DOWN AND ENVENTUALLY CRASHES
HE'LL BE STUCK IN A POSITION.
AS FOR BEING AFRAID OF YOUR DAD: DON'T LET IT FAZE YOU. IF HE'S CHEATING- YOUR MOM HAS A RIGHT TO KNOW. JUST DO IT IN A MANNER WHERE YOU DON'T GET IN ';TROUBLE';. I DON'T WANT YOU TAKE A BEATING YOU DON'T DESERVE.
You shouldn't have been snooping. You don't know if he is cheating or just looking. Leave it alone.
You are a good son - be proud of yourself. I think that is a good idea to install that. Don't mention it to anyone, just do it. I hope the best for you, your mom and your sis!
i think you should tell your sis and try to get her to help u and it might just b hes old and likes that kind of stuff.but ya talk to your sis b 4 u thalk to your mom or dad may b she will talk to them with you
You are suffering and deeply hurt from what you should not have been fiddling with in the first place. But now, you must see someone you trust to vent your feelings, the school counselor, your minister, or a trusted (I emphasize trusted) adult friend SUCH as a trusted teacher. Your dad, like all people in the world, has his weakness, understand that he isn't perfect, and neither is anyone. Accept and love your dad, but not his weakness, after all has he not honored you? Yes, your mom would also suffer if she found out, and perhaps she already knows (there are tell-tale signs)...women are smart and they can detect such things. Take care and God bless.
As disgusting as it may seem to you, it is not any of your business. You have no right to put any block on his computer. Remember, your dad is a big boy...I am sure he has already considered the possible implications to his behaviour.
';cleaning'; his computer can save hs job and his retirement as this is a ';zero-tolerance'; issue in most companies ... delete the porn links on his ';Favorites'; list, or better yet delete the entire favorites list so he has to recreate it from scratch, that will keep him busy on more productive activities. I would not tell him because if he thinks the corporate IT dept did it, he will be unlikely to do it at work again.
setting blocks may be good, but to install a ';nanny'; program or any other software may alert the company to his activities and that you DONT want to do. if he shoots himself in the foot by questioning the IT dept, thats his stupidity, but minor adjustments to his permissions wont send any flags to anyone other than himself. you are a good son/daughter and are only looking out for his employment welfare. you dont need to turn this into a confrontation at this time and for all concerned, the less said, the better.
on the other side of that coin, he might have been looking at porn to ';charge his batteries'; for your mom when he got home. in any case, the workplace is definitely NOT the place to surf for porn
Your father is a ba$tard, and your mom probably knows that he's cheating honey but is probably afraid of him as are you. This is a bad situation and you bringing it up to your dad could make it worse as he could easily lie to you and say it must've been someone else or intimidate you to lying for him, so go with your gut and block the pervert from that porn. He's not only cheating but putting you guys in financial trouble too. Hes a jerk. Pretty soon you'll be old enough to get the F out.
Mind your own business.Your under 18,so you are the only one who is definitely doing something illegal.
you need to talk to your mom and tell her she will be mad but say this:
';mom, i need to tell you something but don't be mad, when dad's at work i saw him going on porn sites and he goes on female porn and he's cheating on you ';
How can i cope with the emotional strain i put on my relationship?
I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years. Before him, I breifly dated this other guy who my current boyfriend hates. About 2 months ago, I lied to my boyfriend and went to hang out with this other guy. It wasn't anything like cheating, but I just wanted to see someone who used to be a good friend to me that I hadn't seen in about 3 or 4 years. Well my boyfriend found out, and has been having a freak out ever since. He cheated on me 4 years ago, and I forgave him. Then i found out he was ';hanging out'; with another girl on my birthday last year, but since I couldn't find any proof that he cheated again, I stayed with him... I love him so intensely that the thought of being without him hurts me physically. So now, he treats me like crap and acts like I deserve it because I ';lied to him for his enemy, and snuck around behind his back';. he also thinks i cheated on him with this guy, but I never cheated on him once in our 6 years together, and would never after feeling the hurt of him cheating on me. Now I dont know what to do, because I know I deserve his anger for lying to him, and now he can't trust me. But the way he's been treating me, you'd think he completely forgot the damage he did to me in the past by cheating and sneaking around. Like what I did is a thousand times worse than what he did. I dont know what to do anymore, as we fight and bicker constantly. I love him in an unparallel way, but I dont know if staying with him is worth anymore of the emotional pain I am feeling. Should i suck it up because I'm the one who messed up, and see if it passes? Or should I walk away and find someone who can accept that I make mistakes, just like they do? I feel like I'm going insane... please help. and dont judge, i dont think i could handle peoples rude sarcastic comments on this one.How can i cope with the emotional strain i put on my relationship?
Ask yourself.......why should you HAVE to cope with this constant, unforgiving, judgemental, abusive behavior? You are human and didn't cheat.....but his guilt is wanting him to believe that you did cheat so that he doesn't have to feel so guilty about what HE did. He is trying to ';transfer'; his feelings of guilt to you.....so that you will feel guilty enough for both of you, and it releases him from the bondage of guilt.
But at the same time.......his guilt IS putting you into bondage.
Do you really believe that this is what love is about?
Personally.....I would let him go and move forward, without him. You need to believe enough in yourself that you deserve to be truly loved for you......faults and all. You are a human being.....not a martyr.
And as the Bible says......no sin is greater than another.
And who is he that he can sit in judgement of your actions or you as a person? Who died and made him God?
Do you think it would get any better? NO it will not. He needs a scapegoat and as long as you are with him......that is all you will be to him. He has no respect for you. And he doesn't have respect for himself. He should be man enough to admit his own failures with having to lay them on you. You have your own issues to deal with, without having to take on his issues. He is extremely immature and it appears that he may never grow out of it as long as he maintains a scapegoat in his life. He will never be man enough to ';step up to the plate';
God bless you and good luckHow can i cope with the emotional strain i put on my relationship?
Who cheated on who? Who can't trust who? Come on! Yes, you did something you shouldn't have but what he did was one of the worst things a man can do. He's already cheated on you once, chances are he'll do it again. Is that the kind of relationship you want? You deserve to be treated better than that girl!
Truth is if you deal with a man you deal with some kind of stress. Wheter you wnat to keep him depends on how much stress you are willing to deal with. Stay single and stressfree or work it out with him. Good Luck.
this is the marriage and divorce section. Go to singles and dating.
How old are you? This sounds extremely immature.
The way that you said you deserve his anger for lying to him, really stuck out to me and slightly concerned me. You do not deserve his anger for lying to him. You need to find someone mentally mature enough to accept your apology and forget about it. Forgiving is easy but forgetting is hard. If he can't find it within himself to let go of past emotions between the two of you, then you definitely don't deserve that. The reason I think that he is putting you through all this is because of his guilt for his own mistakes. A man and his wife came in two or three years ago and told me that they had both cheated on each other several times. What I do in my business is I counsel the family together and listen to what they think is the problem and then I counsel them each individually. Well, when I took this man by himself for the second session, he confessed to me how his guilt was eating him alive. He had cheated the first four times and then the women had cheated once. When I talked to her, she said that she had been made to feel terrible even though, in her opinion he was the one who had committed the greater crime in their relationship. People take out their own insecurities and their own problems on other people. Then, when I dug deeper I realized that this man was so scared that his wife was going to leave him because of what he'd done and he tried to make her think that she deserved everything he was putting her through. I'm not saying that this is the exact same scenario but I will tell you that people try to make others feel lesser. Whatever the case may be, you do not deserve to hear these words being said to you over and over, especially seeing as how you didn't really do anything. You may have kept a little secret, but it's nothing compared to what he's done. He obviously is guilty and that guilt may be turning him crazy. You need to tell him how you feel. I know that you're crazy in love, but if this doesn't come to an end pretty soon, you have to leave. Don't put yourself in the middle of uneccessary drama, hun. Hope this helps! Message me if you need anything more.
I think you need to answer 2 questions:
1) What is the reason he cheated? Not being drunk or whatever but the real reason. What was going wrong in your relationship that he had sex with someone else?
2) What is the reason that you lied and spent time with your ex? ie. what is it that you found in your ex's company that is missing in your life?
If you answer these questions, I think you'll get a better understanding of the dynamics of your relationship with him - and how you can fix it.
Obviously there is a lot of stuff that has transpired in your relationship and the two of you are not surviving it very well. There is a complete lack of trust between the two of you. Part of his lack of trust toward you is that he was unfaithful some years ago, and the fact that you weren't up front with him about hanging out with your friend. There is too much sneaking around in the whole relationship.
I do have one big question though. Why does your BF consider this other guy ';the enemy'; and hate him so much? It sounds like he has had harsh feelings toward this guy throughout your relationship, which simply doesn't make any sense. What's the story behind that?
Well for starters you are wrong about marriage, it does give you a safe haven and it is a commitment. The thing about that is that you both have to feel that way first. If you think of marriage as a serious commitment with lifetime implications and you make sure you have similar levels of intensity about money, sex, children and child rearing, work and interests you have a decent chance. If the best you can say is hes hot you don't.
This is the kind of guy who will never let you forget, nor will he forgive, and he will forever throw it in your face, at the same time excusing himself for whatever reason he wants to.
When the trust in a relationship is broken its hard to put back together, and both people need to want to do that. He doesn't he has a get-out-of-jail card now and he will forever use it. You didn't really do anything bad but lie about seeing the ex. If your bf were really secure he wouldn't care.
Back off this relationship for a while, see how things go without him.
Its really not healthy to love someone who tears you down because he did something wrong.
Lying IS cheating. And manipulating. And controlling.
That ';physical pain'; you feel without him, is anxiety. It's about how you feel about yourself, when you don't have him to focus your attention. It's what drives you to do things you don't understand. soothing that anxious feeling inside, that you're not good enough. (not good enough . . . for your own inner-critic).
When you finally accept THAT, you should take a weekend trip alone somewhere, have a couple bottles of wine, take a long walk on a beach, and then ask yourself. . . what is it that you're actually getting out of this relationship. And what do you want to get?
I lied to my spouse about drinking her breast milk and now she wont even speak to me. I have learned to never lie to my spouse - you need to be honest in everything you do, and don't try to hide things either.
Now I am sleeping on the couch and I dont know if my wife will ever forgive me.
Ok so you both have made mistakes here. Let's not get into the who made the bigger one. Instead you either need to go to couple's counseling to work this out or just leave one another and start out fresh.
You both are to blame for all the bitterness and bickering. I think maybe it is time to step back and think about what you have done, forgive one another and either like I said talk to someone or move on.
Ask yourself.......why should you HAVE to cope with this constant, unforgiving, judgemental, abusive behavior? You are human and didn't cheat.....but his guilt is wanting him to believe that you did cheat so that he doesn't have to feel so guilty about what HE did. He is trying to ';transfer'; his feelings of guilt to you.....so that you will feel guilty enough for both of you, and it releases him from the bondage of guilt.
But at the same time.......his guilt IS putting you into bondage.
Do you really believe that this is what love is about?
Personally.....I would let him go and move forward, without him. You need to believe enough in yourself that you deserve to be truly loved for you......faults and all. You are a human being.....not a martyr.
And as the Bible says......no sin is greater than another.
And who is he that he can sit in judgement of your actions or you as a person? Who died and made him God?
Do you think it would get any better? NO it will not. He needs a scapegoat and as long as you are with him......that is all you will be to him. He has no respect for you. And he doesn't have respect for himself. He should be man enough to admit his own failures with having to lay them on you. You have your own issues to deal with, without having to take on his issues. He is extremely immature and it appears that he may never grow out of it as long as he maintains a scapegoat in his life. He will never be man enough to ';step up to the plate';
God bless you and good luckHow can i cope with the emotional strain i put on my relationship?
Who cheated on who? Who can't trust who? Come on! Yes, you did something you shouldn't have but what he did was one of the worst things a man can do. He's already cheated on you once, chances are he'll do it again. Is that the kind of relationship you want? You deserve to be treated better than that girl!
Truth is if you deal with a man you deal with some kind of stress. Wheter you wnat to keep him depends on how much stress you are willing to deal with. Stay single and stressfree or work it out with him. Good Luck.
this is the marriage and divorce section. Go to singles and dating.
How old are you? This sounds extremely immature.
The way that you said you deserve his anger for lying to him, really stuck out to me and slightly concerned me. You do not deserve his anger for lying to him. You need to find someone mentally mature enough to accept your apology and forget about it. Forgiving is easy but forgetting is hard. If he can't find it within himself to let go of past emotions between the two of you, then you definitely don't deserve that. The reason I think that he is putting you through all this is because of his guilt for his own mistakes. A man and his wife came in two or three years ago and told me that they had both cheated on each other several times. What I do in my business is I counsel the family together and listen to what they think is the problem and then I counsel them each individually. Well, when I took this man by himself for the second session, he confessed to me how his guilt was eating him alive. He had cheated the first four times and then the women had cheated once. When I talked to her, she said that she had been made to feel terrible even though, in her opinion he was the one who had committed the greater crime in their relationship. People take out their own insecurities and their own problems on other people. Then, when I dug deeper I realized that this man was so scared that his wife was going to leave him because of what he'd done and he tried to make her think that she deserved everything he was putting her through. I'm not saying that this is the exact same scenario but I will tell you that people try to make others feel lesser. Whatever the case may be, you do not deserve to hear these words being said to you over and over, especially seeing as how you didn't really do anything. You may have kept a little secret, but it's nothing compared to what he's done. He obviously is guilty and that guilt may be turning him crazy. You need to tell him how you feel. I know that you're crazy in love, but if this doesn't come to an end pretty soon, you have to leave. Don't put yourself in the middle of uneccessary drama, hun. Hope this helps! Message me if you need anything more.
I think you need to answer 2 questions:
1) What is the reason he cheated? Not being drunk or whatever but the real reason. What was going wrong in your relationship that he had sex with someone else?
2) What is the reason that you lied and spent time with your ex? ie. what is it that you found in your ex's company that is missing in your life?
If you answer these questions, I think you'll get a better understanding of the dynamics of your relationship with him - and how you can fix it.
Obviously there is a lot of stuff that has transpired in your relationship and the two of you are not surviving it very well. There is a complete lack of trust between the two of you. Part of his lack of trust toward you is that he was unfaithful some years ago, and the fact that you weren't up front with him about hanging out with your friend. There is too much sneaking around in the whole relationship.
I do have one big question though. Why does your BF consider this other guy ';the enemy'; and hate him so much? It sounds like he has had harsh feelings toward this guy throughout your relationship, which simply doesn't make any sense. What's the story behind that?
Well for starters you are wrong about marriage, it does give you a safe haven and it is a commitment. The thing about that is that you both have to feel that way first. If you think of marriage as a serious commitment with lifetime implications and you make sure you have similar levels of intensity about money, sex, children and child rearing, work and interests you have a decent chance. If the best you can say is hes hot you don't.
This is the kind of guy who will never let you forget, nor will he forgive, and he will forever throw it in your face, at the same time excusing himself for whatever reason he wants to.
When the trust in a relationship is broken its hard to put back together, and both people need to want to do that. He doesn't he has a get-out-of-jail card now and he will forever use it. You didn't really do anything bad but lie about seeing the ex. If your bf were really secure he wouldn't care.
Back off this relationship for a while, see how things go without him.
Its really not healthy to love someone who tears you down because he did something wrong.
Lying IS cheating. And manipulating. And controlling.
That ';physical pain'; you feel without him, is anxiety. It's about how you feel about yourself, when you don't have him to focus your attention. It's what drives you to do things you don't understand. soothing that anxious feeling inside, that you're not good enough. (not good enough . . . for your own inner-critic).
When you finally accept THAT, you should take a weekend trip alone somewhere, have a couple bottles of wine, take a long walk on a beach, and then ask yourself. . . what is it that you're actually getting out of this relationship. And what do you want to get?
I lied to my spouse about drinking her breast milk and now she wont even speak to me. I have learned to never lie to my spouse - you need to be honest in everything you do, and don't try to hide things either.
Now I am sleeping on the couch and I dont know if my wife will ever forgive me.
Ok so you both have made mistakes here. Let's not get into the who made the bigger one. Instead you either need to go to couple's counseling to work this out or just leave one another and start out fresh.
You both are to blame for all the bitterness and bickering. I think maybe it is time to step back and think about what you have done, forgive one another and either like I said talk to someone or move on.
MY HORRIBLE SISTER!!!?
hi, well were shell i start ok here it goes, well i have this bitchy sister ok.. she takes things out on me if she is pissed or she didn't get her way, she's always lying to my mum and my me and i know she is lying but i just don't say anything to her, she isn't the same as before when she always wanted to tell me things. she over does things e.g '; if i did something exultantly then i say am sorry she will go on about it to just get me into more trouble. she fakes things and always cheats on her coursework (copes from Google, and puts it in her work, and say it her work) she annoying and never stops talking and also she tried to act pissed but she's not just wants people to say to her ';oh Monica are you ok?';. and as she is older then me and wiser then me when i ask her for help she acts like she doesn't know but later on she would do it for her self. she is also my half sister and we didn't grew up together she came to this country 2 years ago (and me 8 years ago).
so please can you tell me how i can show her i don't care if she's trying to heart me and also show her that if she is being bitchy i wouldn't care, also can you please tell me how i could do things on my own and show her that i don't need her help.
thank you and please don't say speak to her because am not good with these kind of things and she is the most cold hearted person (believe me)
thank youMY HORRIBLE SISTER!!!?
If you want to be less dependent on your sister but you need advice from someone you can always talk to friends, or your parents. Or you know there are A LOT of people who post there personal problems here and get some pretty good advice to pick from , (some not so great but you'll figure that out) To show her that it doesn't bother you about the stuff she does well it's simple don't let it, if shes as cold hearted as you say she is then she's looking for a reaction out of you, cause she prob thinks it's funny, best thing you can do is just shrug it off and leave her be get your advice else where and you'll be fine. Hope this helps :PMY HORRIBLE SISTER!!!?
my sister does the same thing and she undermindes me all the time. i think yoou should tell ur parents or send her to jail or someting. My theory is everything happens for a reason, Think about it.
stop complaining. get over it
lmao get over it, sounds normal. alot of ppl are like that when they're young
talk to them
so please can you tell me how i can show her i don't care if she's trying to heart me and also show her that if she is being bitchy i wouldn't care, also can you please tell me how i could do things on my own and show her that i don't need her help.
thank you and please don't say speak to her because am not good with these kind of things and she is the most cold hearted person (believe me)
thank youMY HORRIBLE SISTER!!!?
If you want to be less dependent on your sister but you need advice from someone you can always talk to friends, or your parents. Or you know there are A LOT of people who post there personal problems here and get some pretty good advice to pick from , (some not so great but you'll figure that out) To show her that it doesn't bother you about the stuff she does well it's simple don't let it, if shes as cold hearted as you say she is then she's looking for a reaction out of you, cause she prob thinks it's funny, best thing you can do is just shrug it off and leave her be get your advice else where and you'll be fine. Hope this helps :PMY HORRIBLE SISTER!!!?
my sister does the same thing and she undermindes me all the time. i think yoou should tell ur parents or send her to jail or someting. My theory is everything happens for a reason, Think about it.
stop complaining. get over it
lmao get over it, sounds normal. alot of ppl are like that when they're young
talk to them
How to cope up with a broken family man i married?
I married a man who's attitude was like a headache to me due to the fact that he had parents who was separated since his childhood years.There comes a time that he cheated on me and he told me that it was my fault etc.What will i do this situation?Please help!How to cope up with a broken family man i married?
Either get rid of him or stay with him. More sex usually helps, but only in the short term. Bottom line if this guy wants o stay, he will. Sounds like he's so used to the adversity that he is doing everything he can to keep the same lifestyle he's used to. In other words his formative years he never learned how to make a relationship work.How to cope up with a broken family man i married?
So it was your fault he got a hardon and had sex with another woman? Sounds like a real winner you go on your hands there. Get rid of him. There are thousands of nice guys out there looking for a good solid relationship with a great girl. Don't settle and don't lower your standards.
Do yourself a favor and leave. You deserve better. Every minute that goes by in this situation you lose in life. You were not brought into this world to live in misery. Only you chose to live in misery.
Gee...what a tough question, you married this guy who was already a pain in the ***, and then he cheats on you? How blind do you have to be in order to miss such an obvious solution.
Dump him, according to him he can do whatever he wants without taking responsibility for his actions. Let him know he's lost what little of his mind he had if he thinks you're going to agree to that.
get out before he takes the best years of your life.
If you knew about his bad attitude towards relationships from the start.. why did you marry him?
k
1. knock his *** out
2. pack up your stuff
3. get the ef outta there.
There is no excuse for treating you that way.
He cheated - leave him
You obviously are married to a lying, cheating con artist. Tell him to grow up and start acting like a man and quit all his whining about his childhood. None of that is your fault and maybe if he can't get over it he needs to go see a shrink.
You may choose to give him a chance to straighten up and fly right, but make sure he understands that it is a one time chance and then he is history.
Good luck
Well, dear, looks like he's following the only script he's ever read.....the one his life has been based on.
Ask him if he liked being raised by separated parents and if that is how he wants his family to live, how he wants his kids raised. Ask him if he'd like to stop the cycle. It's a lot of work but he'll have to learn how to be the other adult partner in the relationship.
I too was responsible for everything that came down the pike....because I was the one doing all the work!!! So if a situation developed, naturally it was not his fault because he never dealt with any of our marital responsibilities.
He just needs to make one decision....whether or not to honor his vows...to love, honor, and respect you....(comes before the death do you part part). If he can, great. If he can't then he needs to admit it.
You married him WHY?!?
Having a broken family life is no excuse for cheating on someone. I came from a broken family and I would never cheat on my husband.
It is not your fault either! Dont let him try to blame you.
It sounds like your husband is a bit immature and it will be hard for you to trust him in the future. You deserve better and I would leave him if i were you. I would only consider getting back together if he and you went to professional counselling (mainly for him to work through what he did etc,).
It must be so difficult for you. Just remember - if he has done it before he is likely to do it again - no matter what he says. I know that is not very comforting, but you need to put your best interests first here or you will only get hurt again.
I pray that he sorts himself out and i pray for you during this difficult time, for strength, wisdom and comfort.
Best regards
chin up there is hope look back to when you first met im sure there are some great memories of when you first fell in love . my husband and i went through some real trying times as well infact we still getting over some bumpy spots. he had said some aful stuff to me and i wanted to leave....long story short we went for conselling and also started to go to church together. every day is as new day and we are slowly puting the pieces back together. the is key is talk and try to break the walls that are up dont give up
Leave him. He is making excuses for his unforgivable behavior. This man is selfish and does not deserve you. Get out before he takes the best years of your life, then leaves you for a newer model!!
Either get rid of him or stay with him. More sex usually helps, but only in the short term. Bottom line if this guy wants o stay, he will. Sounds like he's so used to the adversity that he is doing everything he can to keep the same lifestyle he's used to. In other words his formative years he never learned how to make a relationship work.How to cope up with a broken family man i married?
So it was your fault he got a hardon and had sex with another woman? Sounds like a real winner you go on your hands there. Get rid of him. There are thousands of nice guys out there looking for a good solid relationship with a great girl. Don't settle and don't lower your standards.
Do yourself a favor and leave. You deserve better. Every minute that goes by in this situation you lose in life. You were not brought into this world to live in misery. Only you chose to live in misery.
Gee...what a tough question, you married this guy who was already a pain in the ***, and then he cheats on you? How blind do you have to be in order to miss such an obvious solution.
Dump him, according to him he can do whatever he wants without taking responsibility for his actions. Let him know he's lost what little of his mind he had if he thinks you're going to agree to that.
get out before he takes the best years of your life.
If you knew about his bad attitude towards relationships from the start.. why did you marry him?
k
1. knock his *** out
2. pack up your stuff
3. get the ef outta there.
There is no excuse for treating you that way.
He cheated - leave him
You obviously are married to a lying, cheating con artist. Tell him to grow up and start acting like a man and quit all his whining about his childhood. None of that is your fault and maybe if he can't get over it he needs to go see a shrink.
You may choose to give him a chance to straighten up and fly right, but make sure he understands that it is a one time chance and then he is history.
Good luck
Well, dear, looks like he's following the only script he's ever read.....the one his life has been based on.
Ask him if he liked being raised by separated parents and if that is how he wants his family to live, how he wants his kids raised. Ask him if he'd like to stop the cycle. It's a lot of work but he'll have to learn how to be the other adult partner in the relationship.
I too was responsible for everything that came down the pike....because I was the one doing all the work!!! So if a situation developed, naturally it was not his fault because he never dealt with any of our marital responsibilities.
He just needs to make one decision....whether or not to honor his vows...to love, honor, and respect you....(comes before the death do you part part). If he can, great. If he can't then he needs to admit it.
You married him WHY?!?
Having a broken family life is no excuse for cheating on someone. I came from a broken family and I would never cheat on my husband.
It is not your fault either! Dont let him try to blame you.
It sounds like your husband is a bit immature and it will be hard for you to trust him in the future. You deserve better and I would leave him if i were you. I would only consider getting back together if he and you went to professional counselling (mainly for him to work through what he did etc,).
It must be so difficult for you. Just remember - if he has done it before he is likely to do it again - no matter what he says. I know that is not very comforting, but you need to put your best interests first here or you will only get hurt again.
I pray that he sorts himself out and i pray for you during this difficult time, for strength, wisdom and comfort.
Best regards
chin up there is hope look back to when you first met im sure there are some great memories of when you first fell in love . my husband and i went through some real trying times as well infact we still getting over some bumpy spots. he had said some aful stuff to me and i wanted to leave....long story short we went for conselling and also started to go to church together. every day is as new day and we are slowly puting the pieces back together. the is key is talk and try to break the walls that are up dont give up
Leave him. He is making excuses for his unforgivable behavior. This man is selfish and does not deserve you. Get out before he takes the best years of your life, then leaves you for a newer model!!
If your husband cheated and a baby came out of the afair could you stay?
Let's say you cheated on your wife, a one night stand, and you told your wife and the two of you decided to work it out and you were truly sorry. What would you do if the one night stand, an ex gf, came two or three months later and said she was pregnant? Could this cost one their marriage? How do you go about telling your wife this? Any women could you work through this with your husband. The doctors appointments, taking the mother's child places for checkups and bringing her medice ect. How would you cope if you decided to stay? Has anyone ever been in this situation?If your husband cheated and a baby came out of the afair could you stay?
Invest in your love and to be happy.
When you make a commitment to a relationship, you invest your attention and energy in it more profoundly because you now experience ownership of that relationship.If your husband cheated and a baby came out of the afair could you stay?
That was in my mind for 9 miserable months after my man cheated on me! I would never go that far and would have to end it with that. Getting another woman pregnant is by far the worst thing that can happen in an affair. Good luck if you decide to stay. I would not deal with another woman in my husband's life for 18 years!
Everyone is different... But me for one, I would not have stayed with you... I would have left the second you told me!!!! %26amp; you brought this sh** on yourself
I wouldn't have stayed through the cheating so it wouldn't have been an issue.
Round 2 on this question? You are in a tough spot here. How do you tell your wife? You say, here is the bank account,the keys to the house and the car... I ruined our lives. Goodbye! And you leave quickly before she explodes!
An affair would be difficult to forgive, but a one night stand with no real emotional connection would probably be forgiveable - eventually - if he cut ALL ties with the other woman %26amp; made a clear %26amp; honest commitment to our marriage. But, for me, the baby would be a dealbreaker because that would tie my husband into this woman's life FOREVER! We could never ever really put this behind us, especially if he wanted to be involved with appointments, be present at the birth, etc. Even if he wanted no contact but just sent child support it would be hard. I guess he'd have made his NEW bed and I'd tell him to go sleep in it because I could never get a good night's peaceful sleep next to him again.
Invest in your love and to be happy.
When you make a commitment to a relationship, you invest your attention and energy in it more profoundly because you now experience ownership of that relationship.If your husband cheated and a baby came out of the afair could you stay?
That was in my mind for 9 miserable months after my man cheated on me! I would never go that far and would have to end it with that. Getting another woman pregnant is by far the worst thing that can happen in an affair. Good luck if you decide to stay. I would not deal with another woman in my husband's life for 18 years!
Everyone is different... But me for one, I would not have stayed with you... I would have left the second you told me!!!! %26amp; you brought this sh** on yourself
I wouldn't have stayed through the cheating so it wouldn't have been an issue.
Round 2 on this question? You are in a tough spot here. How do you tell your wife? You say, here is the bank account,the keys to the house and the car... I ruined our lives. Goodbye! And you leave quickly before she explodes!
An affair would be difficult to forgive, but a one night stand with no real emotional connection would probably be forgiveable - eventually - if he cut ALL ties with the other woman %26amp; made a clear %26amp; honest commitment to our marriage. But, for me, the baby would be a dealbreaker because that would tie my husband into this woman's life FOREVER! We could never ever really put this behind us, especially if he wanted to be involved with appointments, be present at the birth, etc. Even if he wanted no contact but just sent child support it would be hard. I guess he'd have made his NEW bed and I'd tell him to go sleep in it because I could never get a good night's peaceful sleep next to him again.
Cheating question?
so i just told my boyfriend yesterday that i cheated on him once (this was a year ago by the way) and he took it well but of course was mad and suprised. i know for a fact it wont happen again and i love him dearly. how can i help him cope with this....i want to help himCheating question?
Congratulations on your honesty in telling him about it a year later, too bad it's too little too late. If you love him dearly, you would have never betrayed him like that. You can't help him to cope with it, he needs to decide if he will be able to believe you and truly forgive and forget or IF he can ever trust you again. Sorry but I think you made your feelings for him quite clear when you cheated on him a year ago when you cheated on him.Cheating question?
This is something he has to deal with on his own. That is a hard thing to find out. Not to mention the fact you didn't tell him for a year.
He may find it very difficult to trust you again so if he questions you a lot about where you are going or who you are talking to , etc. you will have to be patient until he can regain the trust he once had in you.
Just don't give him any reasons to believe you might do it again. That is the only way to help him.
Well, that was not so cool, but hey it was a long time ago and i know you dont want to hurt him again. I think you should go out more ofte, show him you care for him and you are there for him ..Try to make him forget all that, by showing him that he can trust you. Just make sure you spend time with him, always talk to him so he can forget all that..Good luck!
It might be worth telling him that it's OK for him to cheat on you just once to even out the score: if he does this, it should help him forget about your straying and (hopefully) you 2 can patch things up again afterwards.
First, get things straight. Love does not equate to cheating!! If, you really loved this guy, you would have stayed true to only him. Sorry, but now you have fallen into another category of women we guys refer to as........ Let's just say it rhymes with Go.
just keep telling him you love him %26amp; will never do it again and he acutually does mean alot .
well first of all make sure it never happens again and stay faithful to him...that should help :) best of luck
cheating is only ok on tests...
spend more time with him, loveeeee himblond hair celebrity hair
Congratulations on your honesty in telling him about it a year later, too bad it's too little too late. If you love him dearly, you would have never betrayed him like that. You can't help him to cope with it, he needs to decide if he will be able to believe you and truly forgive and forget or IF he can ever trust you again. Sorry but I think you made your feelings for him quite clear when you cheated on him a year ago when you cheated on him.Cheating question?
This is something he has to deal with on his own. That is a hard thing to find out. Not to mention the fact you didn't tell him for a year.
He may find it very difficult to trust you again so if he questions you a lot about where you are going or who you are talking to , etc. you will have to be patient until he can regain the trust he once had in you.
Just don't give him any reasons to believe you might do it again. That is the only way to help him.
Well, that was not so cool, but hey it was a long time ago and i know you dont want to hurt him again. I think you should go out more ofte, show him you care for him and you are there for him ..Try to make him forget all that, by showing him that he can trust you. Just make sure you spend time with him, always talk to him so he can forget all that..Good luck!
It might be worth telling him that it's OK for him to cheat on you just once to even out the score: if he does this, it should help him forget about your straying and (hopefully) you 2 can patch things up again afterwards.
First, get things straight. Love does not equate to cheating!! If, you really loved this guy, you would have stayed true to only him. Sorry, but now you have fallen into another category of women we guys refer to as........ Let's just say it rhymes with Go.
just keep telling him you love him %26amp; will never do it again and he acutually does mean alot .
well first of all make sure it never happens again and stay faithful to him...that should help :) best of luck
cheating is only ok on tests...
spend more time with him, loveeeee him
How can i cope with my heart that have been broken and how can i tell him off without being vulgar?
i mean i had this boyfriend right but he broke my heart really bad, he basically was cheating on me but yet i still kept a lil hope he may still love me, but know i completly understand what i was for him, nothing much but some past time, he left with this other girl who at first he use to told me alot of bad stuff about her, but know they are together which i dont understand, i dont understand what i did wrong or soemhting i mean he left with the girl he use to hate and left me all broken hearted. but i also dont wnat to go like nothing have happen,i am angry at him hes nothing but an ingrate he didnt appreciate what i felt for him, so anyone can be kind and tell me how can i let him know how much he hurt me, but also whitout feeling desperate.How can i cope with my heart that have been broken and how can i tell him off without being vulgar?
Instead of telling him off or telling him how much he hurt you, because trust me it won't make a difference because he doesn't care.
You have to focus on your healing. Start journal writing, vent on paper - write him an UNSENT letter even, telling him exactly what you think of him and what he did. And in an UNSENT letter, you can be as vulgar as you want. Burn it when you are done. Write one daily if necessary.
You didn't *do* anything wrong. His morals, values, standards and expectations dictate his behavior, choice and decision to cheat.
iVillage has a great support board: Breaking Up is Hard to Do, check it out:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlb鈥?/a>How can i cope with my heart that have been broken and how can i tell him off without being vulgar?
Telling him he hurt you will not do any good. He has shown that he didn't care before, so there is no reason to think he will care now. The best thing you can do is move on as best you can. Yes, it hurts but think about yourself %26amp; your future. Don't waste time on him anymore. You have wasted too much already...
The old adage goes: There's other fish in the sea.
Now, I realize that this particular cliche is often overused and, in reality, may seem a bit trite......but know this.....there is some eternal wisdom in that saying.
Image the look on his face if you met him on the street one day, and you had some hot, young, buffed, Greek Adonis on your arm. You think for one minute that he won't think to himself, ';dang!';?
You go find yourself someone else. Someone who can love and respect you for the woman you are!
And if you think that maybe you need some time to get over the hurt before you find someone else, then all the better. Take as much time as you need.
You know, in this world, there are men, then there are boys....and sounds to me like your ex boyfriend was just that....a BOY-friend.
Girl, get out your pole....it's time to go fishin'.
First please post your questions in the right section. This is divorce and marriage not your issue. Second if you really want help be sure what you post makes sense.
He doesn't care how you feel anyways. Telling him how much he hurt you doesn't mean nothing to him so don't waste your time and get with someone that wants to be with you! He is a idiot and you know it but if you want to hear someone say it yes, he's an idiot.
Just Hate him....its simple!!!!
The best thing for revenge and to make him think twice about you is to go on like you've completely forgotten him and have a ball. Nothing is more attractive to a dog like that than the hunt. If he knows he can have you, he'll have you and her and her and her.
Just walk away. Actions speak louder than words. Besides, do you really think anything you say is going to phase him? He doesn't care for you, so don't waste an ounce of thought on him. Forget him! There's nothing you could say or do to him that wouldn't make you look desperate except for dropping the very thought of him.
Instead of telling him off or telling him how much he hurt you, because trust me it won't make a difference because he doesn't care.
You have to focus on your healing. Start journal writing, vent on paper - write him an UNSENT letter even, telling him exactly what you think of him and what he did. And in an UNSENT letter, you can be as vulgar as you want. Burn it when you are done. Write one daily if necessary.
You didn't *do* anything wrong. His morals, values, standards and expectations dictate his behavior, choice and decision to cheat.
iVillage has a great support board: Breaking Up is Hard to Do, check it out:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlb鈥?/a>How can i cope with my heart that have been broken and how can i tell him off without being vulgar?
Telling him he hurt you will not do any good. He has shown that he didn't care before, so there is no reason to think he will care now. The best thing you can do is move on as best you can. Yes, it hurts but think about yourself %26amp; your future. Don't waste time on him anymore. You have wasted too much already...
The old adage goes: There's other fish in the sea.
Now, I realize that this particular cliche is often overused and, in reality, may seem a bit trite......but know this.....there is some eternal wisdom in that saying.
Image the look on his face if you met him on the street one day, and you had some hot, young, buffed, Greek Adonis on your arm. You think for one minute that he won't think to himself, ';dang!';?
You go find yourself someone else. Someone who can love and respect you for the woman you are!
And if you think that maybe you need some time to get over the hurt before you find someone else, then all the better. Take as much time as you need.
You know, in this world, there are men, then there are boys....and sounds to me like your ex boyfriend was just that....a BOY-friend.
Girl, get out your pole....it's time to go fishin'.
First please post your questions in the right section. This is divorce and marriage not your issue. Second if you really want help be sure what you post makes sense.
He doesn't care how you feel anyways. Telling him how much he hurt you doesn't mean nothing to him so don't waste your time and get with someone that wants to be with you! He is a idiot and you know it but if you want to hear someone say it yes, he's an idiot.
Just Hate him....its simple!!!!
The best thing for revenge and to make him think twice about you is to go on like you've completely forgotten him and have a ball. Nothing is more attractive to a dog like that than the hunt. If he knows he can have you, he'll have you and her and her and her.
Just walk away. Actions speak louder than words. Besides, do you really think anything you say is going to phase him? He doesn't care for you, so don't waste an ounce of thought on him. Forget him! There's nothing you could say or do to him that wouldn't make you look desperate except for dropping the very thought of him.
How do i cope with the fact that my boyfriend of 7 years cheated on me?
OK i am 22 years old and he is 23. We have been together since our sophmone year in high school. I just found out last thursday that he had cheated on me befoe i had gotten pregnant this was 3 years ago. He had sex with a girl he didnt even know at our neighbors apartment. He says ';hes sorry and that he wishes he could take it back if he had known that this was going to possibly break his family he never would have done it.'; I dont know how to deal with this i love him so much i love my little family. It just breaks my heart to know that this happened. I dont understand these years have been so good since our daughter was born. She loves us so much. The worst part is that we planned on gettting married in november of 2009. And ive been planning our wedding. someone please give me some good advice.How do i cope with the fact that my boyfriend of 7 years cheated on me?
The only ones that matter at the end of the day are yourself, him, and the children. There are going to be people who tell you things that you do not want to hear because you love him. You can either choose to listen, and grow cold and angry or, you can choose to ask him to tell you the whole truth so you can begin to heal. Please understand that this is not about you, what you did or didnt do, this is totally a decision he has made on his own, and he has to find a way to forgive himself, ask for your forgiveness and begin to heal together- if that is what you choose to do. I have lived it, been there, done it so all i can say to you is search your heart- do you see someone who loves you as an individual( not thinking about the affair) or do you see someone who treats you bad, and disrespects constantly? Sometimes actions do speak louder than words, but no matter the outcome you have to forgive- or you will become someone you no longer like. God bless you-TammyHow do i cope with the fact that my boyfriend of 7 years cheated on me?
Nest time get married first. Dump this guy. He'll cheat again. He's sorry that he got caught.
The only ones that matter at the end of the day are yourself, him, and the children. There are going to be people who tell you things that you do not want to hear because you love him. You can either choose to listen, and grow cold and angry or, you can choose to ask him to tell you the whole truth so you can begin to heal. Please understand that this is not about you, what you did or didnt do, this is totally a decision he has made on his own, and he has to find a way to forgive himself, ask for your forgiveness and begin to heal together- if that is what you choose to do. I have lived it, been there, done it so all i can say to you is search your heart- do you see someone who loves you as an individual( not thinking about the affair) or do you see someone who treats you bad, and disrespects constantly? Sometimes actions do speak louder than words, but no matter the outcome you have to forgive- or you will become someone you no longer like. God bless you-TammyHow do i cope with the fact that my boyfriend of 7 years cheated on me?
Nest time get married first. Dump this guy. He'll cheat again. He's sorry that he got caught.
How can I cope with a heartache and loneliness feeling?
I am divorced, and I want to know how to trust in God that I will get over this and I will be ok. Will I eventually love again? Is that possible? I feel as if I can't do it all over again but I'd hate to live alone because I did like married life, I liked having someone (until he cheated) Does real love really exist? I am full of doubt.How can I cope with a heartache and loneliness feeling?
i wish i could say that u will feel better soon, u won't. it is a gradual thing where it could take years. just focus on god and not the hurt. u will meet someone new when u are ready. join a therapy group of people who will help u with this, give u the support u need to get over this terrible thing. also when we focus on others we aren't so focused on our own hurts. helping others, volunteering and helping people less fortunate than yourself will help u. don't ever doubt the lord and the things he can do. but what doesn't kill u does make u stronger and more mature.How can I cope with a heartache and loneliness feeling?
Real love does exist and the fact that he cheated on you only means that you kissed another frog instead of the prince. You are better off feeling the way you do than if you were to jump right into another relationship too swiftly after the divorce.
Just get out and make some friends, do things to keep yourself busy, and you will meet the right person in the future. If you like bowling, join a bowling league. If you are a church goer, try to see about church events you can take part in. keep telling yourself that he is out there somewhere. Remember that you need the coldness of winter to have the joy of spring, and you are enduring winter right now.
to make sure you get the right person this time, you can even learn a little handwriting analysis which will keep your mind busy until the right person comes along and give you a way to tell how sincere he may or may not be.
You have to be like the boy digging through the pile of manurer in the barn yelling ';there has to be a pony in here somewhere!!'; Think positive and keep looking and you will have the happily married life again and it will be far better with a man you don't have to worry whether he is cheating on you or not.
It is not easy starting over but by doing it one day at a time one step at a time. i too am starting over after 8 years. It is an awful time some days I do not want to function or even get up but I know I need to do this for myself. I find that I call family and friends more often just to say hi. I look at life a bit differently each day Willl become easier but There wil be good and bad days I do not like to be alone either but will have to accept that for now do I want another emotional relationship? Not now I am not ready will I ever be only time will tell that if I meet someone else. But for now the only emotional relationship I need is with me and to get over the loneliness and hurt. Turn to family friends church counseling to help fill the gap find things to occupy the down time if you have kids be with them as often as possible do not rush or look for another relationship because you are lonley take time to heal and focus on yourself. Be strong I wish you the best and if you just need to talk go ahead and contact me you are not alnoe in this many more are out there and we can support each other.
Sometimes if you wait for God to help you, you might not see it. There's a story about a drowning man who calls out to God for help. Three boats come by, but the faithful guy waits for God to save him. he drowns, and goes to Heaven. He asks, ';Lord, I begged you for help, believeing you would save me, yet I drowned anyway'; ';My son,'; said the Lord, ';I sent you THREE boats!'; Bottom line is you can wait and hope to move on, for change, for love again, but YOU have to decide to do something about it! I think you know what to do. Take a chance and go for it. Have fun!
You will love again. I can't even count the times I've been cheated on, and never thought that i would find the one, until my husband now. You have to have faith in God, and he will bring you joy once again. Time heals everythin, and you will once again be in love. Do somethings to make yourself feel valuable. I know for me, shopping is the best medicine. See if you can get together some girls nights, and just hang out, enjoy being single again for a while. Date, don't rush anything because you are feeling lonely and hurt. Hope this helps, and fell better.
yes i'd like to believe real love exists...it's the kind that needs not be painfull...it is forgiving...and kind.
how can you love again when you are thinking you can't do it all over again?...no, as long as you still think that way, don't.
If you want to trust God that He will carry you through this...just put your faith in Him and develop your personal relationship with God by reading the Bible ( it's a good way to know who you're dealing with...do not rely on hearsay =) )
I believe now is the best time for you to do this...while your heart is seeking to know and trust in Him.
Being married or in a relationship doesn't necessarily equal no heartache or an absence of loneliness. Being lonely in a relationship somehow seems lonelier to me that being single and having possibilities.
';If a son asks for bread from any father among you, will he give him a stone?...
If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!”
God knows your pain and your needs...if you serve Him, trust Him. Faith in the promises of God are stronger than circumstances.
';We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to His purpose.';
absolutly you will get over this time cures everything i just recommend that yourgo alot to church and just get a hobbie that you like that way time will pass and your will always be bussi good luck
It takes time to get over the hurt. Too many people jump right in to another relationship as a rebound, and then they aren't happy then either.
Let your heart heal before fretting about rather love is real! It is! Just take your time, heal, and it will come to you.
Get involved with clubs, sports, a new job, volunteer, keep busy and you'll forget your so lonely.
i wish i could say that u will feel better soon, u won't. it is a gradual thing where it could take years. just focus on god and not the hurt. u will meet someone new when u are ready. join a therapy group of people who will help u with this, give u the support u need to get over this terrible thing. also when we focus on others we aren't so focused on our own hurts. helping others, volunteering and helping people less fortunate than yourself will help u. don't ever doubt the lord and the things he can do. but what doesn't kill u does make u stronger and more mature.How can I cope with a heartache and loneliness feeling?
Real love does exist and the fact that he cheated on you only means that you kissed another frog instead of the prince. You are better off feeling the way you do than if you were to jump right into another relationship too swiftly after the divorce.
Just get out and make some friends, do things to keep yourself busy, and you will meet the right person in the future. If you like bowling, join a bowling league. If you are a church goer, try to see about church events you can take part in. keep telling yourself that he is out there somewhere. Remember that you need the coldness of winter to have the joy of spring, and you are enduring winter right now.
to make sure you get the right person this time, you can even learn a little handwriting analysis which will keep your mind busy until the right person comes along and give you a way to tell how sincere he may or may not be.
You have to be like the boy digging through the pile of manurer in the barn yelling ';there has to be a pony in here somewhere!!'; Think positive and keep looking and you will have the happily married life again and it will be far better with a man you don't have to worry whether he is cheating on you or not.
It is not easy starting over but by doing it one day at a time one step at a time. i too am starting over after 8 years. It is an awful time some days I do not want to function or even get up but I know I need to do this for myself. I find that I call family and friends more often just to say hi. I look at life a bit differently each day Willl become easier but There wil be good and bad days I do not like to be alone either but will have to accept that for now do I want another emotional relationship? Not now I am not ready will I ever be only time will tell that if I meet someone else. But for now the only emotional relationship I need is with me and to get over the loneliness and hurt. Turn to family friends church counseling to help fill the gap find things to occupy the down time if you have kids be with them as often as possible do not rush or look for another relationship because you are lonley take time to heal and focus on yourself. Be strong I wish you the best and if you just need to talk go ahead and contact me you are not alnoe in this many more are out there and we can support each other.
Sometimes if you wait for God to help you, you might not see it. There's a story about a drowning man who calls out to God for help. Three boats come by, but the faithful guy waits for God to save him. he drowns, and goes to Heaven. He asks, ';Lord, I begged you for help, believeing you would save me, yet I drowned anyway'; ';My son,'; said the Lord, ';I sent you THREE boats!'; Bottom line is you can wait and hope to move on, for change, for love again, but YOU have to decide to do something about it! I think you know what to do. Take a chance and go for it. Have fun!
You will love again. I can't even count the times I've been cheated on, and never thought that i would find the one, until my husband now. You have to have faith in God, and he will bring you joy once again. Time heals everythin, and you will once again be in love. Do somethings to make yourself feel valuable. I know for me, shopping is the best medicine. See if you can get together some girls nights, and just hang out, enjoy being single again for a while. Date, don't rush anything because you are feeling lonely and hurt. Hope this helps, and fell better.
yes i'd like to believe real love exists...it's the kind that needs not be painfull...it is forgiving...and kind.
how can you love again when you are thinking you can't do it all over again?...no, as long as you still think that way, don't.
If you want to trust God that He will carry you through this...just put your faith in Him and develop your personal relationship with God by reading the Bible ( it's a good way to know who you're dealing with...do not rely on hearsay =) )
I believe now is the best time for you to do this...while your heart is seeking to know and trust in Him.
Being married or in a relationship doesn't necessarily equal no heartache or an absence of loneliness. Being lonely in a relationship somehow seems lonelier to me that being single and having possibilities.
';If a son asks for bread from any father among you, will he give him a stone?...
If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!”
God knows your pain and your needs...if you serve Him, trust Him. Faith in the promises of God are stronger than circumstances.
';We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to His purpose.';
absolutly you will get over this time cures everything i just recommend that yourgo alot to church and just get a hobbie that you like that way time will pass and your will always be bussi good luck
It takes time to get over the hurt. Too many people jump right in to another relationship as a rebound, and then they aren't happy then either.
Let your heart heal before fretting about rather love is real! It is! Just take your time, heal, and it will come to you.
Get involved with clubs, sports, a new job, volunteer, keep busy and you'll forget your so lonely.
Has anyone successfully managed to forgive their spouse for cheating?
I was just wondering if anyone had a spouse who had an affair and he or she decided to forgive, and how they are doing now? How long ago was it? Do they truly feel they are 'over it' now or does it still haunt them? Or are they basically doing okay, but still have moments of pain? My husband and I have and are going through counselling, our marriage is much, much better than it was before, and generally we're doing alright. But things come up between us still sometimes and it's so painful for me, it's hard to bear. It's been about a year and a half. I was just wondering how other people have coped with it.Has anyone successfully managed to forgive their spouse for cheating?
My *now ex* husband had an emotional/cyber affair with his brothers *now ex* wife (as well as physical 2x, we lived over 1k miles from each other, otherwise it would have happened more, I'm certain) about 5 years into our 11 yr marriage and 13 yr relationship. It cut me to the bone and I never forgot, but 3 yrs later I had really forgiven and was moving on, although occasionally pissed off and sad. I could not completely avoid her, you see, her son is only 6 weeks older than my son, and is his only cousin so far, so traveling back to his home town meant being around her.
Unfortunately for me, right when I was getting past it and our relationship was improving I found out about another emotional and physical affair he had had in the first year of our marrige. We remained married for 4 years after I found out about the second one, but it was the beginning of the end. One I could and did forgive, but the second hurt me too much and it was pretty much the death knoll.
BTW, you won't forget. There will always be things which set you off, certain songs, movies you watched at that point in time, etc......but if you truly love him and you are both committed you CAN move past this. I'm glad he was open to counselling, that was part of the problem in my marriage--my ex would admit there were problems, but being a military officer refused to get help, telling me it would ruin his career.Has anyone successfully managed to forgive their spouse for cheating?
Hello, well for me and my husband we have been together for 6 yrs and we both cheated on each other me more than him.. it was hard at first to understand all the pain and hurt we put each other thru.. i know this may not be what u want to hear but God is what has brought us through it. i learned from reading the bible that God says to forgive because we have done nameless things that only God has seen and he stills forgives us if we ask..The thing was having a personal relationship with God has helped me so much to forgive my husband we truly have started a new chapter in our marriage. We don't bring up the past and if it comes up in my mind i ask GOd to help to no dwell on it and move on... God Bless and pray God knows your every need...
If the spouse stops cheating.
as the saying goes 'its easy to forgive but hard to forget!', in marriage before you say enoguh, do your best to save it. since you're on your way to marriage recovery try not to dwell on the past. pray that wounds would heal and hearts would melt again from the love you've shared and sharing still with your hubby.
well its not my husband but my bf for 6 years. u can always forgive but never forget thats the problem if u really want things to work u have to try and try not to bring them up cuz if u keep bringing it up it just going to start trouble. it hurts real bad to think that some one u love so much can do that to u but what can u do it the past. all u can do now is hope and pray it dont happen again. the best advice i can give is try to think about all the good and not the bad! good luck
Yes. My ex-husband cheated on me. I was eventually able to forgive him, but I never forgot it. Certain things would come up that would remind me of what he had done. I think I always held resentment in some way. We never had counseling for it though, which is a good idea. I think you will be able to get past it if you two really love each other and he is genuinely sorry for what happened. Trust is hard to rebuild and I don't know if it ever comes back 100%, it didn't for me. If this continues to hurt you then I don't know if it can be worked out for you. A year and a half is a long time to still be hurting over it. Is it once in a blue moon or all the time? I think you will always hurt from time to time, but if you hold resentment to a point to where it causes problems then you need to rethink everything and weigh your pros and cons.
My *now ex* husband had an emotional/cyber affair with his brothers *now ex* wife (as well as physical 2x, we lived over 1k miles from each other, otherwise it would have happened more, I'm certain) about 5 years into our 11 yr marriage and 13 yr relationship. It cut me to the bone and I never forgot, but 3 yrs later I had really forgiven and was moving on, although occasionally pissed off and sad. I could not completely avoid her, you see, her son is only 6 weeks older than my son, and is his only cousin so far, so traveling back to his home town meant being around her.
Unfortunately for me, right when I was getting past it and our relationship was improving I found out about another emotional and physical affair he had had in the first year of our marrige. We remained married for 4 years after I found out about the second one, but it was the beginning of the end. One I could and did forgive, but the second hurt me too much and it was pretty much the death knoll.
BTW, you won't forget. There will always be things which set you off, certain songs, movies you watched at that point in time, etc......but if you truly love him and you are both committed you CAN move past this. I'm glad he was open to counselling, that was part of the problem in my marriage--my ex would admit there were problems, but being a military officer refused to get help, telling me it would ruin his career.Has anyone successfully managed to forgive their spouse for cheating?
Hello, well for me and my husband we have been together for 6 yrs and we both cheated on each other me more than him.. it was hard at first to understand all the pain and hurt we put each other thru.. i know this may not be what u want to hear but God is what has brought us through it. i learned from reading the bible that God says to forgive because we have done nameless things that only God has seen and he stills forgives us if we ask..The thing was having a personal relationship with God has helped me so much to forgive my husband we truly have started a new chapter in our marriage. We don't bring up the past and if it comes up in my mind i ask GOd to help to no dwell on it and move on... God Bless and pray God knows your every need...
If the spouse stops cheating.
as the saying goes 'its easy to forgive but hard to forget!', in marriage before you say enoguh, do your best to save it. since you're on your way to marriage recovery try not to dwell on the past. pray that wounds would heal and hearts would melt again from the love you've shared and sharing still with your hubby.
well its not my husband but my bf for 6 years. u can always forgive but never forget thats the problem if u really want things to work u have to try and try not to bring them up cuz if u keep bringing it up it just going to start trouble. it hurts real bad to think that some one u love so much can do that to u but what can u do it the past. all u can do now is hope and pray it dont happen again. the best advice i can give is try to think about all the good and not the bad! good luck
Yes. My ex-husband cheated on me. I was eventually able to forgive him, but I never forgot it. Certain things would come up that would remind me of what he had done. I think I always held resentment in some way. We never had counseling for it though, which is a good idea. I think you will be able to get past it if you two really love each other and he is genuinely sorry for what happened. Trust is hard to rebuild and I don't know if it ever comes back 100%, it didn't for me. If this continues to hurt you then I don't know if it can be worked out for you. A year and a half is a long time to still be hurting over it. Is it once in a blue moon or all the time? I think you will always hurt from time to time, but if you hold resentment to a point to where it causes problems then you need to rethink everything and weigh your pros and cons.
How to handle my boyf of 3.5years cheating on me?
My boyfriend just told me that he kissed more than 3girls over the past year when he goes out with his friends. He did it when he was with his friends that he's highly influenced by. ive never done this and i cant even comprehend how i feel coz this is not my boyfriend. I dont know how to cope or get over this feeling. if it was one time i could handle but it was re-curring with girls he didnt know.
I want to give him another chance but i do i work thinks out and how can i look at him without seeing his lies. How can i trust him not to do it again. He is the love of my life and we planned to spend our lives together but this is all too much. if anyone can give me any advice... ThanksHow to handle my boyf of 3.5years cheating on me?
If he's been cheating on you, I really think you should let him go, however much you love him. It's not worth you getting heartbroken even if you love him.How to handle my boyf of 3.5years cheating on me?
He's a cheat and a liar. He told you three . If he could say three he is holding back, If he cheat now what do you think he will do if you are married. This guy is a jerk. The problem is you are too common with him, Now you are old news to him. It was not respect for him to even tell you three. Stop taking up for him. none of this is his Friends fault.
take a break.. first see if u can forgive him... see where your relationship stands... understand well how your relationship has progressed over these years.. and do u see yourself moving ahead with him...
after that decide if u want to forgive him... but i believe u have to move on.. guys should learn their lesson that they cant take a woman for granted... in particular your boyfrined {}
well as you said he is the love of your life, you both want to spend the rest of your lives together. if all he did was kiss these girls although it is not right if you love him as much as you state you do then give him a second chance but know that it wont be easy. from that moment he told you he lost your trust in him and that is one of the hardest things to get back. as long as you can forgive him then there is still hope for your relationship. my wife cheated on me once, we have been married for 12 years it was at the start of our marriage. was it hard to deal with it yes it tore me to pieces. did i forgive her yes i did. do i trust her now i do but it was hard to get that trust back. i was always wondering what the hell is she doing. could she be doing it again. but all those what ifs can drive a person crazy. i had to finally let them go and just focus on us. we both still have our girl/guy nights. and you can't take those away from him that would just cause more problems. but its better to try to resolve all this before you say i do. its a lot harder to walk away from a marriage then it is a bf/gf relationship. the reason is say resolve it before that big move is because then you can just walk and leave knowing you tried but he wasn't willing to change. in a marriage you can't just do that why so those vows if you just going to walk out and leave when you knew the type of man he was in the first place. best of luck to you
he's not worth your time show him that he's nobody go socialise do seek for the real soul mate. he wants you to be jealous!!! show your strength and throw your feelings for him in the bin!!! it's time to upgrade to a new one.
seem.s he is set in his own way once this happens it will again get ot while you can . my opion?
KICK HIM TO THE CURB!!!!!
dump him you an do much better
He's dropping big hints to let you know that he's not ready for commitment. If you condone this behaviour it will only get worse and the next thing you know, he'll be having affairs and telling you about them like it's OK. If you have a problem with him kissing other girls, let him know in no uncertain terms that if he does this again, you'll consider the relationship over. Bottom line is, as difficult as it would be to get over, this relationship is only as good as the trust you have between you. If he can't respect you, why waste your time??
Why on earth would he want to tell you he kissed other girls. Maybe he's trying to make you jealous - not a good way to do it though. Maybe he's hinting to you that he wants to dump you and he's to much of a coward to tell you straight and hoping you'll dump him. To me he sounds a bit of a jerk. Maybe next time he tells you something it could to say he had sex, but it didn't mean anything. DUMP HIM
The only way you're really going to figure out what to do is with a clear head. Don't let him influence you in any way so that might mean a break. Then when you're in a better place to deal with it, then let him know that you've thought it over and what you've decided.
Another thing is, if he admitted to kissing then he could be down playing a worse scenario just to releave a little guilt off of himself.
If the shoe was on the other foot, do you really believe he would give you another chance. It's time for you to find someone that will love and respect you, He did it once, twice and three strikes he's out............Good Luck
you deserve wayyyy better than that dumb guy. he's missin out on a lot, since i see how much you care. what you need to do is 1.)smack the hell out of him, and 2.)kick him to the curb girl!
Well mines cheated on me too but the only difference is yours was honest. Him telling you could mean that he's seeking forgiveness or he wants out of the relationship. All I can say is, follow you intuition because you are the only one who can decide whats best for you. Dont let anyone take you for a free ride. It will hurt like hell but you'll get over it.
I want to give him another chance but i do i work thinks out and how can i look at him without seeing his lies. How can i trust him not to do it again. He is the love of my life and we planned to spend our lives together but this is all too much. if anyone can give me any advice... ThanksHow to handle my boyf of 3.5years cheating on me?
If he's been cheating on you, I really think you should let him go, however much you love him. It's not worth you getting heartbroken even if you love him.How to handle my boyf of 3.5years cheating on me?
He's a cheat and a liar. He told you three . If he could say three he is holding back, If he cheat now what do you think he will do if you are married. This guy is a jerk. The problem is you are too common with him, Now you are old news to him. It was not respect for him to even tell you three. Stop taking up for him. none of this is his Friends fault.
take a break.. first see if u can forgive him... see where your relationship stands... understand well how your relationship has progressed over these years.. and do u see yourself moving ahead with him...
after that decide if u want to forgive him... but i believe u have to move on.. guys should learn their lesson that they cant take a woman for granted... in particular your boyfrined {}
well as you said he is the love of your life, you both want to spend the rest of your lives together. if all he did was kiss these girls although it is not right if you love him as much as you state you do then give him a second chance but know that it wont be easy. from that moment he told you he lost your trust in him and that is one of the hardest things to get back. as long as you can forgive him then there is still hope for your relationship. my wife cheated on me once, we have been married for 12 years it was at the start of our marriage. was it hard to deal with it yes it tore me to pieces. did i forgive her yes i did. do i trust her now i do but it was hard to get that trust back. i was always wondering what the hell is she doing. could she be doing it again. but all those what ifs can drive a person crazy. i had to finally let them go and just focus on us. we both still have our girl/guy nights. and you can't take those away from him that would just cause more problems. but its better to try to resolve all this before you say i do. its a lot harder to walk away from a marriage then it is a bf/gf relationship. the reason is say resolve it before that big move is because then you can just walk and leave knowing you tried but he wasn't willing to change. in a marriage you can't just do that why so those vows if you just going to walk out and leave when you knew the type of man he was in the first place. best of luck to you
he's not worth your time show him that he's nobody go socialise do seek for the real soul mate. he wants you to be jealous!!! show your strength and throw your feelings for him in the bin!!! it's time to upgrade to a new one.
seem.s he is set in his own way once this happens it will again get ot while you can . my opion?
KICK HIM TO THE CURB!!!!!
dump him you an do much better
He's dropping big hints to let you know that he's not ready for commitment. If you condone this behaviour it will only get worse and the next thing you know, he'll be having affairs and telling you about them like it's OK. If you have a problem with him kissing other girls, let him know in no uncertain terms that if he does this again, you'll consider the relationship over. Bottom line is, as difficult as it would be to get over, this relationship is only as good as the trust you have between you. If he can't respect you, why waste your time??
Why on earth would he want to tell you he kissed other girls. Maybe he's trying to make you jealous - not a good way to do it though. Maybe he's hinting to you that he wants to dump you and he's to much of a coward to tell you straight and hoping you'll dump him. To me he sounds a bit of a jerk. Maybe next time he tells you something it could to say he had sex, but it didn't mean anything. DUMP HIM
The only way you're really going to figure out what to do is with a clear head. Don't let him influence you in any way so that might mean a break. Then when you're in a better place to deal with it, then let him know that you've thought it over and what you've decided.
Another thing is, if he admitted to kissing then he could be down playing a worse scenario just to releave a little guilt off of himself.
If the shoe was on the other foot, do you really believe he would give you another chance. It's time for you to find someone that will love and respect you, He did it once, twice and three strikes he's out............Good Luck
you deserve wayyyy better than that dumb guy. he's missin out on a lot, since i see how much you care. what you need to do is 1.)smack the hell out of him, and 2.)kick him to the curb girl!
Well mines cheated on me too but the only difference is yours was honest. Him telling you could mean that he's seeking forgiveness or he wants out of the relationship. All I can say is, follow you intuition because you are the only one who can decide whats best for you. Dont let anyone take you for a free ride. It will hurt like hell but you'll get over it.
I've been left by my bf and found out that all this time he was cheating on me and having parties.?
I was left by my bf and today I found that all this time he was cheating on me and having parties, Salsa dance lessons, going to night clubs and etc. Well I know it's over know and that he's a jerk, but I can't recover after this what I found. Today he put all his photos with these parties and girls on the internet and I'm just shocked. He was cheating on me for 4 years and lying that he's spending his evenings alone.
How should I cope with these negative emotions? I'm broken-down. How can I celebrate new years and look at other men and believe that they won't do the same secretly, if I choose one?I've been left by my bf and found out that all this time he was cheating on me and having parties.?
You CAN recover but YOU have to do it. Stop going to where he has photos up on the internet. Stop blaming him for you being so gullible that you actually believed he was spending the evening alone. He lied to you, you fell for the lies. Face that fact and promise yourself not to be so gullible next time and move on with your life...obviously HE has.I've been left by my bf and found out that all this time he was cheating on me and having parties.?
You can celebrate the fact that you will not be wasting another day of your life on a jerk like him. Just don't punish every guy you see for the sake of one jerk!! He is just an egotistical, self centered fool. Not all men are like that. Just take your time before you get emotionally involved with any guy. Make them prove how much they care before you let them into your bedroom or your heart.
You can own your part in it. When you live in sin or have a sinful relationship you cannot expect anything other than more sin. In other words when you shack up you cannot expect moral things from the other person. If you want morality then you need to keep yourself away from sin and find a decent man and marry and live as God wants. Until then it will always end in heart ache and pain.
Don't let one bad apple spoil your outlook on the future. Obviously, he is a lowlife and probably an expert liar. Be happy you found out before you ended up marrying this guy %26amp; starting a family.
Think of it in a positive way. You dodged a bullet that was headed straight for your heart. You're LUCKY !! Now go out, have fun, meet new people and start the new year fresh and FREE from a person that could have ultimately ruined your entire life.
Look on the bright side. Be glad you didn't marry him and have kids with him.
you just need to stop obsessing about it all and move on with your life... :D
What you do is stay away from the person that hurt you, look for new friends, places to go, and a new life style. Be thankful you are not left with a child to take care of yourself or with some kind of disease from this person. Just be sure that he does not post pictures of YOU and him on the internet. Always be wary of any men or women that you come in contact with, knowing that this kind of thing can happen at any time during your life. Good luck and much happiness to you in the future.
The first thing you need to is to forget all about other men until your heart has had time to heal. Don't concern yourself with how trustworthy or otherwise any man might be as a BF, just worry about how you get along with men as people.
When your heart has recovered from its recent battering, you can look at the men you are friends with and see for yourself that not all men are rotten creeps who cheat on their GFs. You will know it because you will have seen it is so.
Then, when you feel better about men and when you are ready to put your heart on the line once more, you will be ready to date. Until then, don't.blond hair celebrity hair
How should I cope with these negative emotions? I'm broken-down. How can I celebrate new years and look at other men and believe that they won't do the same secretly, if I choose one?I've been left by my bf and found out that all this time he was cheating on me and having parties.?
You CAN recover but YOU have to do it. Stop going to where he has photos up on the internet. Stop blaming him for you being so gullible that you actually believed he was spending the evening alone. He lied to you, you fell for the lies. Face that fact and promise yourself not to be so gullible next time and move on with your life...obviously HE has.I've been left by my bf and found out that all this time he was cheating on me and having parties.?
You can celebrate the fact that you will not be wasting another day of your life on a jerk like him. Just don't punish every guy you see for the sake of one jerk!! He is just an egotistical, self centered fool. Not all men are like that. Just take your time before you get emotionally involved with any guy. Make them prove how much they care before you let them into your bedroom or your heart.
You can own your part in it. When you live in sin or have a sinful relationship you cannot expect anything other than more sin. In other words when you shack up you cannot expect moral things from the other person. If you want morality then you need to keep yourself away from sin and find a decent man and marry and live as God wants. Until then it will always end in heart ache and pain.
Don't let one bad apple spoil your outlook on the future. Obviously, he is a lowlife and probably an expert liar. Be happy you found out before you ended up marrying this guy %26amp; starting a family.
Think of it in a positive way. You dodged a bullet that was headed straight for your heart. You're LUCKY !! Now go out, have fun, meet new people and start the new year fresh and FREE from a person that could have ultimately ruined your entire life.
Look on the bright side. Be glad you didn't marry him and have kids with him.
you just need to stop obsessing about it all and move on with your life... :D
What you do is stay away from the person that hurt you, look for new friends, places to go, and a new life style. Be thankful you are not left with a child to take care of yourself or with some kind of disease from this person. Just be sure that he does not post pictures of YOU and him on the internet. Always be wary of any men or women that you come in contact with, knowing that this kind of thing can happen at any time during your life. Good luck and much happiness to you in the future.
The first thing you need to is to forget all about other men until your heart has had time to heal. Don't concern yourself with how trustworthy or otherwise any man might be as a BF, just worry about how you get along with men as people.
When your heart has recovered from its recent battering, you can look at the men you are friends with and see for yourself that not all men are rotten creeps who cheat on their GFs. You will know it because you will have seen it is so.
Then, when you feel better about men and when you are ready to put your heart on the line once more, you will be ready to date. Until then, don't.
Was in an 8 yr relationship and I just found out that my ex-boyfriend was cheating on me. How do I mend?
I was in an 8 yr relationship and I caught my ex cheating on me. For the last year he's been acting different, going out, coming home late, hiding his phone- finally I gave him an ultimatum to quit it or else its over. He did--but it was always in the back of my mind...did he cheat? was he feeling sufficated? Ive been noticticing that he would always hide his phone and would like to turn it off when we're togehter. So, I took matter in my own hands...i bough a voice recorder taped all his conversations and after a couple of weeks i found what was to be my worst nightmare. He was bragging to his friend how he slept with this girl and all the things that she has done to him sexuality. I was so mad i confronted him right then and there and he STILL denied it saying that he ';knew'; that i was taping him and he was giving me a ';taste'; of my own medicine. so i packed up my things and left that night. I cant help but feel like a loser for staying with him for all these years. How do i cope?Was in an 8 yr relationship and I just found out that my ex-boyfriend was cheating on me. How do I mend?
I was engaged to someone and we had been together for 6 years and the same thing happened except I caught him red-handed. As time went on I realized he had slept with more than one person. At first it is totally normal to feel silly or like somehow it's your fault. Even though everyone says it isn't your fault (and it isn't) it's impossible to not feel like an idiot or you should have seen him for who his was earlier. Just let yourself be upset for a little while. Watch stupid happy movies and anything that feels good. You need to redefine who you are right now so take the time to learn who you are without this person. At least you didn't wait 20 years or 30 years. You learned a lot with this person so take wait you can from the situation. Someday you'll meet someone who is absolutely fabulous and doesn't even consider cheating and you'll realize that if you had never went through the 8 years with the wrong guy, you may have never met the right one.
Good luck! Feel better!Was in an 8 yr relationship and I just found out that my ex-boyfriend was cheating on me. How do I mend?
The dating game is very risky and can end in hurt. Eight years is a long time. To me boyfriend/girlfriend relationships is like playing house (pretending to be married). Especially for women we tend to get our emotions tingled up while dating. I am really sorry to hear this happened to you. Just take some time to heal. God has someone just for you. Don't rush into anything right now. Take it slow and enjoy your season of singleness. Being single gives you time to heal, restore, and prepare your heart for a wonderful future mate. Love will come to you in time. Keep your head up in smile because when no one loves you God will.
Why do you feel like a loser? You found out what he did and left him in the dust. Some women would of stayed with him.
Getting away from him was right. Just remember that you are beter than he is, you don't need him.Feel Great about yourself and find great man.
Go on a Jamaican island for a while. They'll make you forget about just anything. Better yet, sell something of his to pay for the fare! Seriously, though -- it'll take a long time, but just be glad it ended when it did. Who knows why people cheat? Men are great at denying the sh** that's smeared all over their faces!!!He could have led you along and hurt you for many more years. In time, you'll find the perfect person and they won't do that to you.
You did the right thing by leaving. Get counseling if you need to but don't go back. Once a cheater always a cheater. Trust me, I lived the life for years. Find the man who deserves you
You wasted your life being wrapped up in this fool. You can't get those years back. At least if you'd been married you'd gotten half, but now you get nothing and he cheated. I'd feel like total crap.
Be glad you weren't married to him and had children. I know your pain, I was married to a cheater for 11 years and now I have to let him have our children. It is very difficult.
You can go on, things will be better and now you have a blank check on the future. You will find someone who is worthy. I did. GOOD LUCK!
He was the one cheating....you need to do some nice things to make yourself feel better.
Let him go.Once a cheater,always a cheater.Seems the more us women give,the more they take for granted.No woman deserves to have that done to her.It's going to be hard for alittle while since you were with him for so long.But enjoy life for your self and one day you will find that special someone to sweep you off your feet.Good Luck.
My husband not only cheated, he gave me an STD.
I hate him for it...
Our kids hate him...it only gets worse.
Just walk away and start fresh, meet new friends, join a club...run, craft...whatever..
But my best advice...FORGIVE AND FORGET. I forgive him, but I can still hate him.
LIARS stink
Remember he is an ex.
Let him go...and look for someone better.
I was engaged to someone and we had been together for 6 years and the same thing happened except I caught him red-handed. As time went on I realized he had slept with more than one person. At first it is totally normal to feel silly or like somehow it's your fault. Even though everyone says it isn't your fault (and it isn't) it's impossible to not feel like an idiot or you should have seen him for who his was earlier. Just let yourself be upset for a little while. Watch stupid happy movies and anything that feels good. You need to redefine who you are right now so take the time to learn who you are without this person. At least you didn't wait 20 years or 30 years. You learned a lot with this person so take wait you can from the situation. Someday you'll meet someone who is absolutely fabulous and doesn't even consider cheating and you'll realize that if you had never went through the 8 years with the wrong guy, you may have never met the right one.
Good luck! Feel better!Was in an 8 yr relationship and I just found out that my ex-boyfriend was cheating on me. How do I mend?
The dating game is very risky and can end in hurt. Eight years is a long time. To me boyfriend/girlfriend relationships is like playing house (pretending to be married). Especially for women we tend to get our emotions tingled up while dating. I am really sorry to hear this happened to you. Just take some time to heal. God has someone just for you. Don't rush into anything right now. Take it slow and enjoy your season of singleness. Being single gives you time to heal, restore, and prepare your heart for a wonderful future mate. Love will come to you in time. Keep your head up in smile because when no one loves you God will.
Why do you feel like a loser? You found out what he did and left him in the dust. Some women would of stayed with him.
Getting away from him was right. Just remember that you are beter than he is, you don't need him.Feel Great about yourself and find great man.
Go on a Jamaican island for a while. They'll make you forget about just anything. Better yet, sell something of his to pay for the fare! Seriously, though -- it'll take a long time, but just be glad it ended when it did. Who knows why people cheat? Men are great at denying the sh** that's smeared all over their faces!!!He could have led you along and hurt you for many more years. In time, you'll find the perfect person and they won't do that to you.
You did the right thing by leaving. Get counseling if you need to but don't go back. Once a cheater always a cheater. Trust me, I lived the life for years. Find the man who deserves you
You wasted your life being wrapped up in this fool. You can't get those years back. At least if you'd been married you'd gotten half, but now you get nothing and he cheated. I'd feel like total crap.
Be glad you weren't married to him and had children. I know your pain, I was married to a cheater for 11 years and now I have to let him have our children. It is very difficult.
You can go on, things will be better and now you have a blank check on the future. You will find someone who is worthy. I did. GOOD LUCK!
He was the one cheating....you need to do some nice things to make yourself feel better.
Let him go.Once a cheater,always a cheater.Seems the more us women give,the more they take for granted.No woman deserves to have that done to her.It's going to be hard for alittle while since you were with him for so long.But enjoy life for your self and one day you will find that special someone to sweep you off your feet.Good Luck.
My husband not only cheated, he gave me an STD.
I hate him for it...
Our kids hate him...it only gets worse.
Just walk away and start fresh, meet new friends, join a club...run, craft...whatever..
But my best advice...FORGIVE AND FORGET. I forgive him, but I can still hate him.
LIARS stink
Remember he is an ex.
Let him go...and look for someone better.
Subscribe to:
Posts
(Atom)