You need some individual counseling for your depression or no amount of couples counseling will work. If you still feel you cannot trust him afterwards, you don't need him. I think that's called women's' intuition.Cannot cope after he cheated?
break off the engagement. once a cheater - always a cheater. don't set yourself up for more heartache in 7 years with 3 kids. much easier to do this now.
You have every right to feel the way you do; there is no amount of counseling that is going to get you over this right away. You are going to have to look deep into your heart and decide how you really feel. If trust has been totally broken and you feel that you can never trust him again then the best thing for you is to tell him goodbye, turn around, walk away and just keep on walking and count your blessings that you found out that he was a cheater before you got married and had kids that would have been heartbroken too. If you feel trust can be earned by this man again, then give yourself time to grieve for loss of innocence and tell him he must earn your trust before you will commit to him again. Whatever you decide, just be sure you stick to your guns and not let him manipulate you...Be sure to give yourself the time you need too. that is very important. I've seen these things go both ways and you just have to be sure what YOU want and make certain he gives you the time and space to make your decision.
Sweetie I know how you feel right now, at least yours is a fiance,but mine is my husband for so many years. I know how sad it is cause while my husband was with her,he developed an emotional feeling for her,he told her that he loves her, only for a few weeks of knowing her, he found out that they have a lot of things in common,like religion and the history of the holy bible and some other things. when I found out his affair with her, he told me that he never really loved her, she's not the one for him because he found out that this married woman that he love is a control person like he is to me.
I could tell you so many things that hurt me but the thing that I can't deal with is when he told me how he feel for her, and now he don't because the affair was discovered. It will take you a long time just like mine but you must set it aside, don't let this consume you,maybe right now you are depressed because of your love for him was betrayed. I think you want him to be out of your life but at the same time you love him enough to let him stay with you. Life is not fair right now but don't you think that you don't deserve anymore heartaches, after all it did happened to you before,and now it happen again. Stop and think what's best for you, the only way that your heart will heal is to let him go, if you don't it will not do any good no matter how hard the two of you see a councilor. You forgave him and that's the easy thing to do but forgetting it will be a long time to struggle, take my word for it, cause Im still struggeling on my own....
Sounds like he is afraid to be alone. You don't deserve this there are better men out there let him go and move on with your life.
What has happened has ruined everything you valued in him. You can try counseling, but I think you will realize sometimes when a heart breaks, no one can fix it with their pretty words. It takes time. And getting back together with someone who was so careless with your heart, and so easily misled, is a excellent indication that he is not what you need. Seeing him may be a reminder of how he did you. I just honestly do not think it is always best to reunite if the hurt is so raw and is so hard to forgive. Your right to feel the way you do.
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